NM

[jsglow]

Here's a story.  I was talking with a neighbor last night, asked him how his summer was.

Terrible, he says.  Single dad and his 11 year old son drove to the Smoky Mountains for a week.  On the trip up a mountain, his transmission blows, $4000 to fix.  Gets towed, rents a car, continues trip. 

Arrive at cabin, start unpacking.  As they do, a hungry bear appears.  They safely retreat, barricade themselves in the cabin.   Next day, he sees his car bouncing up and down, thinks there are kids having sex in his rental car.   Confronts them with a broom, but .. it's a bear, in the car, doing what bears do, pooping, pissing, clawing.  Calls 911 to have the bear removed.  Rental car is trashed.

During the next 48 hours, they have 11 bear encounters and leave the cabin early for a hotel.

Somehow, he cleans up the bear poop, buys a carpet cleaner, a gallon of Febreeze, glues the claw marks up and returns the rental car and they don't notice.

He said the trip was awful, but I told his 11 year old son .. dude, you'll win the day when the teacher asks "so, what did everyone do this summer?"

[Juan Anderson's Mixtape]

Here's a story.  I was talking with a neighbor last night, asked him how his summer was.

Terrible, he says.  Single dad and his 11 year old son drove to the Smoky Mountains for a week.  On the trip up a mountain, his transmission blows, $4000 to fix.  Gets towed, rents a car, continues trip. 

Arrive at cabin, start unpacking.  As they do, a hungry bear appears.  They safely retreat, barricade themselves in the cabin.   Next day, he sees his car bouncing up and down, thinks there are kids having sex in his rental car.   Confronts them with a broom, but .. it's a bear, in the car, doing what bears do, pooping, pissing, clawing.  Calls 911 to have the bear removed.  Rental car is trashed.

During the next 48 hours, they have 11 bear encounters and leave the cabin early for a hotel.

Somehow, he cleans up the bear poop, buys a carpet cleaner, a gallon of Febreeze, glues the claw marks up and returns the rental car and they don't notice.

He said the trip was awful, but I told his 11 year old son .. dude, you'll win the day when the teacher asks "so, what did everyone do this summer?"

Are we certain the bear didn't get to the teenagers first?

[jsglow]

Are we certain the bear didn't to the teenagers first?

Were the teenagers above .08%?

[4everwarriors]

Here's a story.  I was talking with a neighbor last night, asked him how his summer was.

Terrible, he says.  Single dad and his 11 year old son drove to the Smoky Mountains for a week.  On the trip up a mountain, his transmission blows, $4000 to fix.  Gets towed, rents a car, continues trip. 

Arrive at cabin, start unpacking.  As they do, a hungry bear appears.  They safely retreat, barricade themselves in the cabin.   Next day, he sees his car bouncing up and down, thinks there are kids having sex in his rental car.   Confronts them with a broom, but .. it's a bear, in the car, doing what bears do, pooping, pissing, clawing.  Calls 911 to have the bear removed.  Rental car is trashed.

During the next 48 hours, they have 11 bear encounters and leave the cabin early for a hotel.

Somehow, he cleans up the bear poop, buys a carpet cleaner, a gallon of Febreeze, glues the claw marks up and returns the rental car and they don't notice.

He said the trip was awful, but I told his 11 year old son .. dude, you'll win the day when the teacher asks "so, what did everyone do this summer?"

Old man taught da 11 year old was havin' sex in da car? Only happens wit folks from the Bay. Solid man, hey?

[brewcity77]

Old man taught da 11 year old was havin' sex in da car? Only happens wit folks from the Bay. Solid man, hey?

Nowhere remotely does the story indicate he thought it was his kid in the car. This is neither topical nor amusing.

[Benny B]

Reminds me of the time I returned a rental car with a cracked windshield and a flat tire.  Got a demand letter, so I turned it over to my credit card company.  Credit card insurer offered them about 50% of their initial demand and told them to pound sand on the rest.  I was positive the rental company was going to come after me for the remainder, but they let it go.  A few years later, I was recalling the story with fellow business travelers at an airport roundtable (by which I mean the table on which we were setting our beers was round) and one guy said that most airport rental locations that are doing 100's of rentals/day won't even bother to document any damage on a return unless it's blatantly obvious mostly because it's a waste of employee time.  Which makes the whole car rental insurance thing sound like a scam: they would rather deal with damage internally and get the car back into operation instead of having to subrogate or chase down (i.e. risk losing) a customer... so in the process if they can get the customer to pay a few extra bucks for the "insurance" up front, gravy!

Any former Enterprise branch managers here wish to confirm/deny this?

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

Are we certain the bear didn't to the teenagers first?

One of my favorite movie lines. "Bear f**ker! Do you need assistance?"

[GGGG]

I once hit a bird on my way back to the airport in a rental car.  Didn't realize until the agent looked it over that it broke the plastic grill of the car and was still stuck there.  He yanked it out and gave me my receipt.

[Dr. Blackheart]

So, if a bear shyts in the woods, everyone notices but Avis?

[GooooMarquette]

I'm always amazed that rental car agencies can find buyers for their used cars.  I guess if you price 'em low enough, but still....

[CTWarrior]

Reminds me of the time I returned a rental car with a cracked windshield and a flat tire.  Got a demand letter, so I turned it over to my credit card company.  Credit card insurer offered them about 50% of their initial demand and told them to pound sand on the rest.  I was positive the rental company was going to come after me for the remainder, but they let it go.  A few years later, I was recalling the story with fellow business travelers at an airport roundtable (by which I mean the table on which we were setting our beers was round) and one guy said that most airport rental locations that are doing 100's of rentals/day won't even bother to document any damage on a return unless it's blatantly obvious mostly because it's a waste of employee time.  Which makes the whole car rental insurance thing sound like a scam: they would rather deal with damage internally and get the car back into operation instead of having to subrogate or chase down (i.e. risk losing) a customer... so in the process if they can get the customer to pay a few extra bucks for the "insurance" up front, gravy!

Any former Enterprise branch managers here wish to confirm/deny this?

Worst business trip ever for me, was maybe 8 years back in Fremont, CA.  My first rental car got a flat tire, so I put the donut on it and brought it back to the rental place and got a replacement.  A day or two later, somebody smashed into rental car number 2 from behind while it was parked in the hotel parking lot overnight.  So it was towed back to the rental car place.  All they had left was a minivan, which was rental car 3.  A couple days later, after working my 10th or 11th straight 14 hour day, some of my co-workers say to me, "CTWarrior, you have to come to dinner with us because you're going to lose it if you don't."  I have a minivan, with tinted windows, so I hide my PC under the back seat, which is the best I can do to hide it without a trunk.  After dinner, I come back out, and when I get to the van, I see broken glass.  In about 3 seconds I have the following realizations. 

Hey, I don't remember broken glass when I pulled in.
Oh crap, that's my rental van window that was smashed.
Oh s**t, my PC is gone.

FWIW, two other consultants I was working with also had their PCs stolen from their car that same night, including one who lost his passport and was planning on a business trip to Europe a day or two later. 

So, two young parking lot security knuckleheads come see me at my car, and one of them says, "Oh man, this keeps happening!" 

After a 5 minute conversation with these guys where they explain this has happened several times in the past month, I am getting angrier and angrier because as we talk it becomes apparent that they haven't posted any warning or beefed up security or pretty much done anything to stop the problem.  So finally I I say, "Well, are you going to call the police?"

"No man, they won't come for this."

"Why not?"

"No one is immediate danger.  You gotta report it on their website."

To which I say, infuriated, "I can't report it on the f***ing website, because they stole my f***ing computer!"

It was especially annoying because I am a moron I had just backed up the PC and the back up drive was in my computer case.  So I lost the friggin' back up, too.  No incidents with the fourth car, at least.

At various times during that same 3 week trip, I had to evacuate the office because of a fire, whereupon I was pelted in a hailstorm, and had to evacuate the office on two other occasions for earthquakes, had the Fremont Police bang on my hotel door at 3 in the morning to interview me because there was an alleged rape in the room next to mine, and about a dozen work-related things that went haywire.

People at work still joke about threatening to send me back to Fremont if I don't do this or that, even though we sold the site within a year of completing the project for them.

[brewcity77]

Worst business trip ever for me, was maybe 8 years back in Fremont, CA...

That was hilarious and brutal. Thanks for sharing, and sorry you had to suffer through that week. 

[fjm]

Great story Rocky.

Side note: Cuba is great. Felt safer there than I did in Jamaica or in dominican. That said it's definitely not resort style vacation.

What's everyone drinking tonight.

[jsglow]

Great story Rocky.

Side note: Cuba is great. Felt safer there than I did in Jamaica or in dominican. That said it's definitely not resort style vacation.

What's everyone drinking tonight.

You know what?  Good idea.  A cocktail might be a good idea this evening.

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

Great story Rocky.

Side note: Cuba is great. Felt safer there than I did in Jamaica or in dominican. That said it's definitely not resort style vacation.

What's everyone drinking tonight.

Mulligan.  Local micro brew.  Thursday is the department happy hour

[real chili 83]

Nothing for me.  Doing the Whole30.  Day 4.

[GooooMarquette]

Milk. Fookin' pharmaceutical industry is killing me: "Do not take with alcohol."

[real chili 83]

Milk. Fookin' pharmaceutical industry is killing me: "Do not take with alcohol."

Are they good drugs?

[warriorchick]

You know what?  Good idea.  A cocktail might be a good idea this evening.

Can you at least wait until I get home, I am stuck on a stopped, completely full train (including standers), and the air conditioning is not working.

[real chili 83]

Anyone had the mystery Manhattan at the Lake Elmo Inn?  They are out of this world.

[Dr. Blackheart]

Can you at least wait until I get home, I am stuck on a stopped, completely full train (including sanders, and the air conditioning is not working.

Metrapalooza too.  Have Glow make you a double.

[brewcity77]

What's everyone drinking tonight.

Milk with dinner, but switching to water for the rest of the night. They tend to frown on me having anything stronger at work.

[GooooMarquette]

Are they good drugs?

Jury's still out....

[real chili 83]

Jury's still out....

Still drippin' and itchin', eh???

[Benny B]

Milk. Fookin' pharmaceutical industry is killing me: "Do not take with alcohol."

Not a Brett Favre fan, eh?