Daily Dose of Doom Thread

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.newsweek.com/frb-fast-radio-burst-signal-deep-space-mystery-1283430

TL;DR: Radio signals from aliens detected, prepare for invasion and doom.

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2019/1/18/18188199/drc-ebola-outbreak

[Archies Bat]

They are converting my local Arby's to a Panda Express.

[warriorchick]

They are converting my local Arby's to a Panda Express.

Why would anyone go to a Panda Express?  There is probably always a decent mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant near every single one of them.

[🏀]

Why would anyone go to a Panda Express?  There is probably always a decent mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant near every single one of them.

Because their orange chicken is perfect American orange chicken. Not some actual Asians trying to replicate American orange chicken.

And honestly, I've seen too many Chinese kitchens. It's horrific and apparently way too common.

[MUEng92]

Given Panda Express 2-3 chances. Never been even okay. Never again

[Archies Bat]

Doom for a friend of mine.

https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/arizona-lawmaker-wants-porn-fund-171851269.html

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Doom for a friend of mine.

https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/arizona-lawmaker-wants-porn-fund-171851269.html

The state representative or Tall Titan?

[rocket surgeon]

Doom for a friend of mine.

https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/arizona-lawmaker-wants-porn-fund-171851269.html

Ohhh nooo, not rosey palmer 😳

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46992025

MU better win it all this year, no point in waiting.

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2019/02/01/Study-Illicit-opioid-deaths-to-rise-by-147-percent-by-2025/3961549026251/

[mu_hilltopper]

New survey shows Americans are unhappier than they've been in years

https://www.vox.com/2019/3/21/18275796/happiness-report-usa-ranking-2019

[barfolomew]

New survey shows Americans are unhappier than they've been in years

https://www.vox.com/2019/3/21/18275796/happiness-report-usa-ranking-2019

That article makes me sad.

[mu_hilltopper]

That article makes me sad.

Well, my job here is done.

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high/

Imagine these numbers without Tinder.

[Heisenberg]

Does your left hand count?

[Benny B]

https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2019/04/dead-pig-brain-activity-study-beyonce-homecoming-the-atlantic-daily/587338/

Evidently the zombie apocalypse will start with the pigs.  Better eat more bacon.

[mu_hilltopper]

Wait, has this been reported yet?  I saw some tweets...

https://www.jsonline.com/story/sports/college/marquette/2019/04/15/hauser-brothers-transferring-marquette/3474703002/

[UWW2MU]

Wait, has this been reported yet?  I saw some tweets...

https://www.jsonline.com/story/sports/college/marquette/2019/04/15/hauser-brothers-transferring-marquette/3474703002/

This post was cruel.  Here I thought if I only checked in on the superbar that I'd avoid the scoop meltdown while also avoiding bringing up any distraught feelings of my own.   

[mu_hilltopper]

This post was cruel.

Welp, my job is done here.  /highfive

[warriorchick]

This post was cruel.  Here I thought if I only checked in on the superbar that I'd avoid the scoop meltdown while also avoiding bringing up any distraught feelings of my own.   

Even the sanctity of the NM thread has been violated.   

[mu_hilltopper]

https://www.businessinsider.com/avengers-infinity-war-thanos-killed-half-all-life-earth-endangered-species-2019-4

..Thanos wiped out half of all bees, fruit bats, and every other pollinator on the planet. Many of which are already in trouble. For example, 50% of bee species in the Midwest have vanished in the past century.

Scientists estimate that 90% of all flowering plants depend on animals to reproduce.

Nice going, Thanos.

[mu_hilltopper]

Civilization Is Accelerating Extinction and Altering the Natural World at a Pace 'Unprecedented in Human History'

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/06/climate/biodiversity-extinction-united-nations.html

Humans are transforming Earth's natural landscapes so dramatically that as many as one million plant and animal species are now at risk of extinction, posing a dire threat to ecosystems that people all over the world depend on for their survival,

Do we still have bacon?
Yes?

TL;DR: "Thousands of non-bacon species are going extinct."

[mu_hilltopper]

Also..

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/bubonic-plague-outbreak-plane-passengers-14987444

A married couple have died leaving their four children orphaned after an outbreak of the bubonic plague, which sparked plane panic.

The man, 38 - named only as Citizen T - and his pregnant wife, 37, are thought to have fallen ill after hunting and eating contaminated marmot, a large species of squirrel, in Mongolia.

New at Arby's, Marmot & Cheddar, five for $5.

[Archies Bat]

Also..

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/bubonic-plague-outbreak-plane-passengers-14987444

A married couple have died leaving their four children orphaned after an outbreak of the bubonic plague, which sparked plane panic.

The man, 38 - named only as Citizen T - and his pregnant wife, 37, are thought to have fallen ill after hunting and eating contaminated marmot, a large species of squirrel, in Mongolia.

New at Arby's, Marmot & Cheddar, five for $5.

Was watching The Big Lebowski over the weekend, and the Nihilists threw a marmot into The Dudes bath and it nearly bit  his manhood.

Nihilists, Arby's and marmots are all related.