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Author Topic: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight  (Read 30558 times)

Benny B

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Re: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight
« Reply #125 on: May 18, 2017, 02:00:37 PM »
Skirts at Fox News will be lowered to half mast today for Roger Ailes.

I think that's where they were supposed to be before he died.  Now they can finally be raised.
Wow, I'm very concerned for Benny.  Being able to mimic Myron Medcalf's writing so closely implies an oncoming case of dementia.

Waldo Jeffers

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Re: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight
« Reply #126 on: September 21, 2017, 09:24:42 AM »

Waldo Jeffers

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Re: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight
« Reply #127 on: January 08, 2019, 04:13:32 PM »
A police officer pulled a car over for speeding.
When he walked up to the car and asked the driver
for his license and registration, the driver said
"OK officer, but I gotta tell you I'm drunk as a skunk."

"Well," said the officer."We'll see about that.
Please step out of the car."

"OK, officer," said the diver.
"But I gotta tell you
that I have a loaded gun in the glove compartment."

"OK,thanks for letting me know"
said the officer, putting his hand on his own gun.
"Now please keep you hands where I can see them
and step out of the car."

"OK, officer," said the driver.
"But I also gotta tell you
that I have a dead body in the trunk too."

Drawing his gun, the officer said:
"Step out of the car! Now!"

"OK," said the driver, as he he climbed out.
The officer immediately put the driver in handcuffs
and had him sit on the curb while he called for backup.

Soon another officer, then a supervisor,
showed up and began searching the car.

They stood the driver up and gave him three
sobriety and breathalizer tests.

Then they confronted the driver.

"So," said the supervisor.
"This officer called us because he said
you were drunk, armed and transporting a dead body.
Sir, there's no gun, there's no dead body,
and you seem to be completely sober."

"Yeah," said the driver.
"And I'll bet the sonofabitch said I was speeding, too!"

MU82

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Re: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight
« Reply #128 on: January 08, 2019, 11:15:53 PM »
The Aristocrats!
Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did, and it never will.

-- Frederick Douglass

theBabyDavid

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Re: Who's got a good joke I can use tonight
« Reply #129 on: January 09, 2019, 12:01:27 AM »
A Spaniard, an Italian, and a Greek pitch up in a bar and end up spending all night drinking. Who picks up the tab?


The German
"I don't care what Chick says, my mom's a babe" 

theBabyDavid