We can do better. We need to. All MU fans

[Jams]

After reading comments on Scoop this week, well I really wanted to get some things off my chest, so here I am.  I hope admins will keep it here as I will explain further. 

First, let me come out and apologize. For being a hypocrite, offensive and challenging, fill in a bunch of other not so glowing terms.  I reached out to Hilltopper, Rocky, and a few others via email two weekends ago and extended my apologies, too...paid some back taxes on internet usage as well...these guys pay the full freight you know.   I was (still am) grieving….looking to just be a better person, mend some fences, own some things.  I buried my first love on Oct 29, the woman I dated for almost four years in the latter part of high school and first few years Marquette U.  Died at age 47, to cancer. She leaves a daughter and a husband.  No one ever captured me like she did until my wife and I got together years later. Not close. Not even ballpark close. This was the woman I was going to spend 50 years with.  Most beautiful woman I have ever met (inside beauty, outer beauty) and insanely talented musically.  Some on this board had the chance to meet her as they were roommates of mine at MU. An amazing woman, 1000’s in the church for the services, she was the liturgical music leader for a large Catholic church here with a voice to blow you away. Taught voice lessons, piano and guitar.  An angelic voice….some of you here have heard her as I shared a few links to friends here via email and facebook.  Powerful and breathtaking.  At age 42 she was diagnosed with lung cancer though she didn’t smoke a day in her life…she battled and things looked good…then 15 months ago it metastasized into brain tumors…now she is gone.  Epic loss for the community.
 
As I told Hilltopper and Rocky, the last few weeks I have done so much soul searching as she was in her final days and since her passing.  All the silliness in life, and the BS, the crap at work, the stuff we obsess about, the stuff we fight about….it isn’t worth it.  My worst, my absolute worst about me came on this message board….and for that I apologize to you. The desire to be right all the time, push buttons, get the last word in, etc.  Just not good.  So vastly different to whom I am in the real world…shy, quiet, speak only when I need to make a point.  But not here. UGH. Embarrassing.
 
About six weeks ago I signed back up on Scoop (because I could technically, it was on an airplane and my IP wasn’t blocked by Scoop…right now I’m at a coffeehouse so I can post, too) to add some color to the Lens’ post about general admission seating for students.  That didn’t go well.  So that experiment was dead. But I still read here almost daily and the constant attacks between everyone don’t seem to be ending.  Whether it is attacks from familiar posters on one another, or new posters.  It seems to be getting worse.  Election hangover?  Not worth it.  Not the deamonizing at least.  Sounds cliché, but it isn’t worth it.  All this anger, attacks, labeling. Aren’t we all Marquette fans and alumni? Sure, our politics might be different, we may not like the sub patterns of the coach, or how a professor was treated, but we have to be more respectful.

I’ll stand up and be the first to admit being an epic hypocrite on this over the years.  100%.  OWNING IT! The worst at times.  It really should stop.  Most of all, can we please stop with the racism charges and come together?  Please.  It needs to stop nationally, and because this site is a microcosm it needs to stop here, too.  The racist charges are hurtful, and I would appeal directly to some here that are still calling people racists.  I am guilty of the same here in the past….I’m a hypocrite for using that label in my posts toward others.  Shameful.  When I read some of the comments this week labeling me and others here…yup, hurtful.  My girlfriend who passed, she was mostly Hispanic.  Does it matter?  It sure didn’t to me…and amazing person and family.  Which is why I’m having trouble figuring out how if I’m a racist I would commit 4 years of my life (and ideally would have been the rest of it) to someone not of my race?  Or why I would choose to be a minority in the town I live in.  Or currently commits to so many friends and colleagues that are African American,  Asian, Hispanic, LGBTQ, Muslim, atheist, etc.  We really need to tone down the rhetoric. We use this racist label so loosely, and I’m guilty of it, too. 
 
No one here as a vision into someone’s heart.  But sometimes we say stuff that is either stupid, or can be construed one way or another.  An example, I’m against Sanctuary cities because they are unlawful and for no other reason …and to some, that means I’m a racist.  I would disagree, but I get where some people come to the conclusion.  The “Traditionals” comment…sigh…nothing to do with race.   

All I can do is apologize to those offended, from the heart…deepest apologies.  I can’t make you accept my apology, but I do ask for your forgiveness and hope you will understand intent. There are true racists and bigots out there, those that in their heart hate others because of their race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, etc.

Ultimately would ask you to come together here, stop the labeling of others. As perhaps one of the biggest purveyors of this crap, I know what it looks like. What we saw daily in this election and continue see in a post election, really needs to stop.  Lord knows how many times I said I would never vote for either of these people…and I didn’t.  Those that did, already the labeling nonstop of them.  Some very good people, voted for people that some of us don’t like….it doesn’t make them racists or bigots.  If we keep up this labeling, we are going to destroy this society,  our communities, let alone this board.  We need to be better. I know I do.  I ask that we all do.

Again, my apologies. Very much wanted to get that off my chest.  Trying to just be a better person and I know I failed often.

All the best….let’s come together and treat people with common human decency perspective, one that I didn’t do for all too long.  Ugh.  Doesn’t mean we need to all agree with each other, but we need to stop the name calling and tearing each other apart.

Go Marquette.  My heartfelt apologies.  Flying up to MKE in January to a few games, would love to say hello to many of you…a few of us have already reached out via email. Until then, be safe, smell the roses, tell the people you care about that you love them, don't take it for granted.  Enjoy the sunsets...I took this shot about 10 minutes ago. 

[4everwarriors]

JD, keep your head up, kin. You're good in my book. For every valley, ders a mountain. For every storm, ders a sunrise, ai na?

[rocket surgeon]

 
         rarely does the true persona come thru on these pages.  this was chicos!  puts his skivies on the same as     all of us.  you'll always be a scooper my man.  stay in touch!

[🏀]

Fake,  keep it.

[mr.MUskie]

After reading comments on Scoop this week, well I really wanted to get some things off my chest, so here I am.  I hope admins will keep it here as I will explain further. 

First, let me come out and apologize. For being a hypocrite, offensive and challenging, fill in a bunch of other not so glowing terms.  I reached out to Hilltopper, Rocky, and a few others via email two weekends ago and extended my apologies, too...paid some back taxes on internet usage as well...these guys pay the full freight you know.   I was (still am) grieving….looking to just be a better person, mend some fences, own some things.  I buried my first love on Oct 29, the woman I dated for almost four years in the latter part of high school and first few years Marquette U.  Died at age 47, to cancer. She leaves a daughter and a husband.  No one ever captured me like she did until my wife and I got together years later. Not close. Not even ballpark close. This was the woman I was going to spend 50 years with.  Most beautiful woman I have ever met (inside beauty, outer beauty) and insanely talented musically.  Some on this board had the chance to meet her as they were roommates of mine at MU. An amazing woman, 1000’s in the church for the services, she was the liturgical music leader for a large Catholic church here with a voice to blow you away. Taught voice lessons, piano and guitar.  An angelic voice….some of you here have heard her as I shared a few links to friends here via email and facebook.  Powerful and breathtaking.  At age 42 she was diagnosed with lung cancer though she didn’t smoke a day in her life…she battled and things looked good…then 15 months ago it metastasized into brain tumors…now she is gone.  Epic loss for the community.
 
As I told Hilltopper and Rocky, the last few weeks I have done so much soul searching as she was in her final days and since her passing.  All the silliness in life, and the BS, the crap at work, the stuff we obsess about, the stuff we fight about….it isn’t worth it.  My worst, my absolute worst about me came on this message board….and for that I apologize to you. The desire to be right all the time, push buttons, get the last word in, etc.  Just not good.  So vastly different to whom I am in the real world…shy, quiet, speak only when I need to make a point.  But not here. UGH. Embarrassing.
 
About six weeks ago I signed back up on Scoop (because I could technically, it was on an airplane and my IP wasn’t blocked by Scoop…right now I’m at a coffeehouse so I can post, too) to add some color to the Lens’ post about general admission seating for students.  That didn’t go well.  So that experiment was dead. But I still read here almost daily and the constant attacks between everyone don’t seem to be ending.  Whether it is attacks from familiar posters on one another, or new posters.  It seems to be getting worse.  Election hangover?  Not worth it.  Not the deamonizing at least.  Sounds cliché, but it isn’t worth it.  All this anger, attacks, labeling. Aren’t we all Marquette fans and alumni? Sure, our politics might be different, we may not like the sub patterns of the coach, or how a professor was treated, but we have to be more respectful.

I’ll stand up and be the first to admit being an epic hypocrite on this over the years.  100%.  OWNING IT! The worst at times.  It really should stop.  Most of all, can we please stop with the racism charges and come together?  Please.  It needs to stop nationally, and because this site is a microcosm it needs to stop here, too.  The racist charges are hurtful, and I would appeal directly to some here that are still calling people racists.  I am guilty of the same here in the past….I’m a hypocrite for using that label in my posts toward others.  Shameful.  When I read some of the comments this week labeling me and others here…yup, hurtful.  My girlfriend who passed, she was mostly Hispanic.  Does it matter?  It sure didn’t to me…and amazing person and family.  Which is why I’m having trouble figuring out how if I’m a racist I would commit 4 years of my life (and ideally would have been the rest of it) to someone not of my race?  Or why I would choose to be a minority in the town I live in.  Or currently commits to so many friends and colleagues that are African American,  Asian, Hispanic, LGBTQ, Muslim, atheist, etc.  We really need to tone down the rhetoric. We use this racist label so loosely, and I’m guilty of it, too. 
 
No one here as a vision into someone’s heart.  But sometimes we say stuff that is either stupid, or can be construed one way or another.  An example, I’m against Sanctuary cities because they are unlawful and for no other reason …and to some, that means I’m a racist.  I would disagree, but I get where some people come to the conclusion.  The “Traditionals” comment…sigh…nothing to do with race.   

All I can do is apologize to those offended, from the heart…deepest apologies.  I can’t make you accept my apology, but I do ask for your forgiveness and hope you will understand intent. There are true racists and bigots out there, those that in their heart hate others because of their race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, etc.

Ultimately would ask you to come together here, stop the labeling of others. As perhaps one of the biggest purveyors of this crap, I know what it looks like. What we saw daily in this election and continue see in a post election, really needs to stop.  Lord knows how many times I said I would never vote for either of these people…and I didn’t.  Those that did, already the labeling nonstop of them.  Some very good people, voted for people that some of us don’t like….it doesn’t make them racists or bigots.  If we keep up this labeling, we are going to destroy this society,  our communities, let alone this board.  We need to be better. I know I do.  I ask that we all do.

Again, my apologies. Very much wanted to get that off my chest.  Trying to just be a better person and I know I failed often.

All the best….let’s come together and treat people with common human decency perspective, one that I didn’t do for all too long.  Ugh.  Doesn’t mean we need to all agree with each other, but we need to stop the name calling and tearing each other apart.

Go Marquette.  My heartfelt apologies.  Flying up to MKE in January to a few games, would love to say hello to many of you…a few of us have already reached out via email. Until then, be safe, smell the roses, tell the people you care about that you love them, don't take it for granted.  Enjoy the sunsets...I took this shot about 10 minutes ago. 

I agree with this analysis. Welcome back.

[forgetful]

Very sorry for your loss.  I always had respect for you, but mad respect for owning your faults.  Hope things look up from here.

[real chili 83]

Sincerest condolences for your loss.

[jsglow]

Thanks chicos.

Wouldn't it be nice if our scoop family could find a way to come together more often rather than tear each other down?  Maybe that's a free ticket for a friend if they're in town visiting on gameday.  Maybe that's a beer together at halftime.  Maybe that's a networking opportunity for a young grad.  Maybe 100 other things.

I'd like that world.

[MU82]

Condolences for your loss.

I'm certainly willing to give you a "we'll see." For the record, I also give myself a "we'll see" pretty much every day, and not just regarding Scoop posts.

[tower912]

Jams, at your best you are witty and insightful and compassionate.   I have been anti you returning.  No more.   I am going to choose to believe you are sincere.    Good luck, God bless, and I am sorry for your loss. 

[MU82]

Didn't want to include this with my earlier post.

Re racism ...

Ever since our president-elect's comments about the Mexican judge and Paul Ryan's reaction to it -- calling the comment the "textbook definition of racism" -- I have been trying to figure out if there is a difference between a racist and a person who sometimes makes racist comments.

How many racist comments does one have to make to be, officially, a racist? Can one be "a little racist" or "an occasional racist"?

Donald Sterling's girlfriend was, IIRC, black and Mexican. Sterling also occasionally gave to charities that helped causes of minorities. Yet those who knew him said he was a raging racist, often went on rants against minorities he didn't like, etc. Finally, he was caught on tape, exposing his true self to everybody.

Obviously, one can be romantically involved with a person of a race or nationality or religion one despises and/or disrespects. I mean, look at all the slave owners who were involved with their slaves. It's why the "I have black friends" or "my girlfriend is Hispanic" isn't an automatic defense against racism. Not applying this to your case, Jams, just pointing out the obvious.

Racial issues are extremely complex, very serious. I try not to throw the word "racist" around casually, try to apply it rarely and only when I think it really, truly applies (as is the case with our president-elect). But I'm sure I haven't always succeeded there.

Peace. Time to go to the Panthers game!

[ATL MU Warrior]

I think you guys are getting played.         

Chicos has mentioned that he has a son many times, yet there is no mention of a son being left behind in OP.  Just a daughter and husband...

Rather large oversight don't you think?

[GGGG]

His wife didn't pass away.  His first love did, who he specifically mentions being his girlfriend in high school and first couple years at Marquette.

[brandx]

I think you guys are getting played.         

Chicos has mentioned that he has a son many times, yet there is no mention of a son being left behind in OP.  Just a daughter and husband...

Rather large oversight don't you think?

Sultan answered the part about the daughter.

But like you, I think we are all being played. I just go back to a PM he sent to me that started out as an apology - shockingly - but then turned into one of the nastiest things I have ever read in my life. In my mind, he is just desperate for the attention he received on this board.

If some choose to accept the apology, that is fine. I have no problem with that at all.

But for my part, if he comes back, I will keep him on ignore.

[StillAWarrior]

I am sorry for your loss, Jams.

For years I've tried to reconcile the decent, kind, generous guy I've known for 25+ years and this Chicos character.  It's never made any sense to me at all.  I think my old friend would be a great addition to this board, but I'm perfectly happy that Chicos is gone (and sincerely wish people would stop talking about him).  The problem is, I honestly don't know whether we can get the one without the other.

Again, sorry for your loss and hope you're well.  I'll keep seeing you around on Facebook.  Somehow, that other guy doesn't seem to have made his way over there.

[GGGG]

Welp I'm down with this. 

Matthew 18: 21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

[Jams]

I wasn't going to respond, but looks like I didn't clarify a few things.

ATL, my wife is fine. She's had her medical stuff over the years, but minor.  You are correct, I have a son and a daughter.  My son is a senior, decided the other day to apply to Marquette.  We'll see.  Daughter is a freshman in HS.  The daughter I mentioned last night was her daughter, not mine.  Sorry if that was confusing. I've had two real loves in my life, though certainly been fortunate enough to have been in other relationships that were great with wonderful women, but the two real loves are my wife and my girlfriend that I mentioned.  Crushing blow a few weeks ago.  What an insanely good person she was. 

Additionally, I'm not asking back to the board.  If it happens, ok, but that really wasn't my point.  Call it what you will, cathartic or  wanting to get some things off my chest, etc. 

Too many hyper charged things out there, in my opinion, that get misconstrued or labeled incorrectly for lots of different reasons.  Not worth it.  Too many hunkered down positions on various sides that will interpret things the way they will, and very little wiggle room...just not worth it and too many good people being dragged and labeled, which I find unfortunate.  I think we can all do better, I know I am going to try like crazy.

Cheers

[brandx]

Welp I'm down with this. 

Matthew 18: 21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

More power to you, Sultan. You're a better man than I.

I try to forgive anyone who is honest in their contrition - just as I hope others would forgive me. But, there is a long, long, long track record that makes me think this is just one more ploy.

I will instead defer to the Dennis Green defense. Just substitute "he" for "they".

[StillAWarrior]

I wasn't going to respond, but looks like I didn't clarify a few things.

I say this with the affection of having known and liked you for 25+ years:  this sentence, in a nutshell, is why Chicos is banned.  The inability to resist the urge to "clarify" things.  No clarification was needed.  Everyone - save one, apparently -- got it.

[Pakuni]

Welp I'm down with this. 

Matthew 18: 21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

I like this response, but then I wonder whether anyone really needs to be forgiven for stupid rantings amid a sea of stupid rantings on an online message board.
I'm glad to hear that real life Chicos has little in common with online Chicos. I'm sure that's true of all of us to one degree or another. At least I hope so. Except 4ever ... I hope he's exactly like that in real life.
I love and am thankful for the community built around Scoop and feel like I "know" many of you. I sometimes need to remind myself I really don't (at least that I know of) and what's presented here may be quite a bit different from the person behind the screen name. Ultimately, this is one tiny corner of the internet where we inanely debate trivial - and sometimes not trivial - issues. We probably shouldn't make any more of it than that.

I don't care one way or the other whether the mods allow Chicos back into the fold. If he's back, fine.  If he's back in a less acerbic, less baiting, less agitating form, even better. That could be said for many of us.

Inasmuch as Chicos suffered a loss and is hurting, my condolences to him.

[rocket surgeon]

Jams, at your best you are witty and insightful and compassionate.   I have been anti you returning.  No more.   I am going to choose to believe you are sincere.    Good luck, God bless, and I am sorry for your loss.

that was really cool!  if i'm chicos, i'm cryin like a baby

[rocket surgeon]

I say this with the affection of having known and liked you for 25+ years:  this sentence, in a nutshell, is why Chicos is banned.  The inability to resist the urge to "clarify" things.  No clarification was needed.  Everyone - save one, apparently -- got it.

i get this, but to be fair, clarifying this and "resisting the urge to clarify" the "hot button" stuff is oranges and bratwurst.  i guess i'm just choosing to stay in the moment.  if chicos can do this-exhibit some real humility, expose his most vulnerable self, he's setting a great example for all of us.  we may or may not be able to get to that next level and experience the coolest form of living amends

[StillAWarrior]

i get this, but to be fair, clarifying this and "resisting the urge to clarify" the "hot button" stuff is oranges and bratwurst.  i guess i'm just choosing to stay in the moment.  if chicos can do this-exhibit some real humility, expose his most vulnerable self, he's setting a great example for all of us.  we may or may not be able to get to that next level and experience the coolest form of living amends

I get that, and I agree completely. I wasn't suggesting there was the problem with the post I was replying to. Just a reminder - for all of us including myself - that sometimes it's ok to resist the urge to respond.

I also intended it to be slightly humorous. Probably missed the mark.

[Golden Avalanche]

Lessons in personal responsibility are always good. The above is not one of them.

[keefe]

Welcome back, Jams. I don't always agree with you, in fact you can be maddeningly infuriating, but you make Scoop a better place.