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ATWizJr

A sign of good health?

keefe



Death on call

MU Fan in Connecticut


ATWizJr

Nah, you don't want to see any of these in the lane.

ATWizJr

Quote from: keefe on August 21, 2014, 12:24:00 PM
Tom, I can't weigh in on that question personally but it was discussed in a recent Panel on the BBC

http://www.youtube.com/v/eB5VXJXxnNU?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0"></param><param%20name="allowFullScreen"%20value="true"
Thanks Crash.  I'm expecting agita this season, so with seven weeks to go before madness I thought it might be the appropriate time to discuss GI health.

WellsstreetWanderer

I thought floaters were specks that drifted around in an eyeball

JoeSmith1721


jesmu84

Quote from: ATWizJr on August 21, 2014, 10:32:15 AM
A sign of good health?

Generally just means fat in your diet in the previous 12-24 hours.

4everwarriors

Breast implants with more air in 'em than silicone.
"Give 'Em Hell, Al"

4everwarriors

Also, saw several turds, aka floaters, in the local swimmin' pool while life guardin' back in the day.
"Give 'Em Hell, Al"

GGGG

Quote from: 4everwarriors on August 21, 2014, 02:58:40 PM
Also, saw several turds, aka floaters, in the local swimmin' pool while life guardin' back in the day.


Did you work with Carl Spackler?

Ari Gold

#11
its color you should worry about: http://www.webmd.com/women/features/digestive-problems
And don't forget about loggers. Folks been loggin 'round these parts for generations. My pappy taught me loggin. And his pappy before him! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCV475ADaQ

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCV475ADaQfeature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


keefe



Death on call

ATWizJr

Quote from: 4everwarriors on August 21, 2014, 02:58:40 PM
Also, saw several turds, aka floaters, in the local swimmin' pool while life guardin' back in the day.
Not Jackson Park, I hope!

Jay Bee

Quote from: elephantraker on August 21, 2014, 02:25:51 PM
I thought floaters were specks that drifted around in an eyeball

Those are vitreous floaters. They are awful.
The portal is NOT closed.

Atticus

I once had white turds. Those albino suckers scared the heck out of me. After sobering up, I realized that I ate an entire container of French onion dip while drinking.

keefe

Quote from: Atticus on August 21, 2014, 11:24:01 PM
I once had white turds. Those albino suckers scared the heck out of me. After sobering up, I realized that I ate an entire container of French onion dip while drinking.

At the end of a Red Flag Exercise at Nellis AFB three A 10 squadrons tore up Las Vegas as only Warthog Drivers can. The next morning I downed a handful of Motrin with three quarts of Gatorade Arctic Ice in a vain effort at clearing my brain in order to feel somewhat human.

We stopped at the Base Shopette to fill up the rental car when a sudden, violent urge to relieve myself struck with a fury that would have Shocked and Awed Saddam himself. I raced to the gent's and barely got my flight suit down when my backside erupted like Mt Vesuvius.

Unfortunately, because I was struggling to get the Zoom Bag down, I was still in a hover position and my aim point was way off target. I knew immediately that my ordnance had likely caused significant catastrophic collateral damage in the Shopette's tiny unisex latrine. As I turned to conduct Battle Damage Assessment I was horrified not by the incredible amount of viscous goo running down the wall but the fact that it was a bright florescent green.

My mind raced with deconfliction scenarios which all concluded that I had contracted some bizarre cancer that had putrified my GI tract and that my days were now very limited. How else could one explain the unnatural neon green color of my discharge? Facing certain death I trudged grimly out of the latrine when I saw a young Airman in line cradling an armload of Gatorade Arctic Blasts. I knew instantly that it was the three quarts of electric blue Gatorade that had tainted my insides and turned my release into a Jackson Pollack masterpiece.

Because the last night of Red Flag always promises hard raging I had taken myself off the flight schedule for the return trip and slept like a baby on the C 17 ride back to home plate. I awoke refreshed and feeling like a man given a new lease on life. My wife met me at the ramp and when she asked how the day had gone I wisely left out the story of the florescent green bombing run. Like most women, she never really appreciated a genuinely hilarious sh1t story.


Death on call

ATWizJr

Quote from: keefe on August 22, 2014, 12:58:13 AM
At the end of a Red Flag Exercise at Nellis AFB three A 10 squadrons tore up Las Vegas as only Warthog Drivers can. The next morning I downed a handful of Motrin with three quarts of Gatorade Arctic Ice in a vain effort at clearing my brain in order to feel somewhat human.

We stopped at the Base Shopette to fill up the rental car when a sudden, violent urge to relieve myself struck with a fury that would have Shocked and Awed Saddam himself. I raced to the gent's and barely got my flight suit down when my backside erupted like Mt Vesuvius.

Unfortunately, because I was struggling to get the Zoom Bag down, I was still in a hover position and my aim point was way off target. I knew immediately that my ordnance had likely caused significant catastrophic collateral damage in the Shopette's tiny unisex latrine. As I turned to conduct Battle Damage Assessment I was horrified not by the incredible amount of viscous goo running down the wall but the fact that it was a bright florescent green.

My mind raced with deconfliction scenarios which all concluded that I had contracted some bizarre cancer that had putrified my GI tract and that my days were now very limited. How else could one explain the unnatural neon green color of my discharge? Facing certain death I trudged grimly out of the latrine when I saw a young Airman in line cradling an armload of Gatorade Arctic Blasts. I knew instantly that it was the three quarts of electric blue Gatorade that had tainted my insides and turned my release into a Jackson Pollack masterpiece.

Because the last night of Red Flag always promises hard raging I had taken myself off the flight schedule for the return trip and slept like a baby on the C 17 ride back to home plate. I awoke refreshed and feeling like a man given a new lease on life. My wife met me at the ramp and when she asked how the day had gone I wisely left out the story of the florescent green bombing run. Like most women, she never really appreciated a genuinely hilarious sh1t story.
Hilarious!

keefe

Quote from: ATWizJr on August 22, 2014, 05:49:07 AM
  Hilarious!

I thought so too, Tom. Men relish a great sh1t story and savor every lurid detail. Women, for some odd reason, never really embrace the beauty of these adventures.


Death on call

mr.MUskie

Quote from: keefe on August 22, 2014, 11:02:22 AM
I thought so too, Tom. Men relish a great sh1t story and savor every lurid detail. Women, for some odd reason, never really embrace the beauty of these adventures.


As an old friend used to tell me, "A fcuk is a fcuk, but there's nothing like a good healthy sh1t."

keefe

Quote from: mr.MUskie on August 22, 2014, 07:27:54 PM

As an old friend used to tell me, "A fcuk is a fcuk, but there's nothing like a good healthy sh1t."

Your friend is worth keeping. But there's more to that adage. For while a man can take immense satisfaction in a good, healthy sh1t he would also derive incredible pleasure from an enormously unhealthy bowel movement.


Death on call

rocket surgeon

Quote from: ATWizJr on August 22, 2014, 05:49:07 AM
  Hilarious!

funny as balls. you should be a writer, but you left out one very important detail...floater? betcha it wasn't a 2-wiper :o
felz Houston ate uncle boozie's hands

real chili 83

Hey Dunks, you gotta chime in on this thread.

Paperwork baby, paperwork.

ZiggysFryBoy

a buddy of mine crapped his drawers on the way to On the Border while trying to get in the gas station crapper (the station was closed and they opened up the doors for him).  he left his sh!t filled boxers in the john and went to see some strippers commando.

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