The Everlasting Craptastical Mystery Thread

[Freeport Warrior]

OP's was my favorite sophomore year. I was 19, so I could drink legally, but one of the last nights (that caused them to get thousands and thousands in fines and ultimately close), the MPD carted away what seemed like hundreds of kids in paddywagons.  I remember freshman sharp shooter, Mark Anglavar in tears pleading with the po-po to no avail. The best part was that dance floor that was stocked with Mounty Mary chicks looking for love. Just request a little Bizarre Love Triangle and sit back and enjoy . . .

[warthog-driver]

Years after I left campus I heard the Lanche had "Naked Beer Slides" What was that all about?

[mu_hilltopper]

I used to go down to eat at Wales on Wells even after I graduated and was just a poor young graduate living in Milwaukee.  One day I pulled up, parked on Wells, walked up to the front door, and noticed it was closed...for good.

A little piece of me died that day.

Mr. Wales lived across the street from me for years .. until the bank foreclosed on his home.

[rocky_warrior]

Years after I left campus I heard the Lanche had "Naked Beer Slides" What was that all about?

Uhh...
http://www.onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/nakedbeerslides.html

[warthog-driver]

No way on that floor...

[Newsdreams]

Never saw that happen between '79 & '83, but do have to plead guilty on breaking empty beer bottles many times inside the 'Lanche.

[real chili 83]

Never saw that happen between '79 & '83, but do have to plead guilty on breaking empty beer bottles many times inside the 'Lanche.

That's my time too.  Never saw a slide.  Not even fro Chris Farley, who was a couple years behind me.  Lots of busted bottles though.  I gotta believe this started after the Lanche's insurance company put a moratorium on $.50 bottles of Red White & Blue.

[warriorchick]

That's my time too.  Never saw a slide.  Not even fro Chris Farley, who was a couple years behind me.  Lots of busted bottles though.  I gotta believe this started after the Lanche's insurance company put a moratorium on $.50 bottles of Red White & Blue.

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.  Just like all the people who claim they have been cow-tipping.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping

[MU Fan in Connecticut]

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.  Just like all the people who claim they have been cow-tipping.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping

I witnessed sliding at closing time on several occasions.  I had two roommates do it because "they had to try it at least once."

[StillAWarrior]

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.  Just like all the people who claim they have been cow-tipping.

I can't say with any certainty how often naked beer slides occurred at the 'Lanche (it wasn't really one of my usual hangouts), but I do know that at least one occurred.  I was there.  I saw it.  I know the guy who did it.  Beyond that, I can't really say for sure.

[🏀]

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.  Just like all the people who claim they have been cow-tipping.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping

Was not around for The Avalanche, but cow-tipping is pretty common in my parts.

[warriorchick]

Was not around for The Avalanche, but cow-tipping is pretty common in my parts.

Pics or it doesn't exist.

[Dr. Dunkenstein]

I saw a handful of slides in the early '90's at the Lanche, most were painful to watch.  I was in Murphy's (the original Gym) this past summer for the 20-year reunion and witnessed another one at closing time.  As you can imagine in this day and age, it was caught on tape.  It was quite comical, one of the bartenders got on the PA system and started encouraging the guy to do it.

[lab_warrior]

That's my time too.  Never saw a slide.  Not even fro Chris Farley, who was a couple years behind me.  Lots of busted bottles though.  I gotta believe this started after the Lanche's insurance company put a moratorium on $.50 bottles of Red White & Blue.

Never saw that happen between '79 & '83, but do have to plead guilty on breaking empty beer bottles many times inside the 'Lanche.

The 'Lanche closed my Freshman year, which was a massive bummer, but I was able to get in there a couple times with my super-duper Iowa fake ID.  Did not see any naked beer slides, though.  Empty, broken beer bottles? Yes.  Red White & Blue beer?  Also, yes.  Blech, that stuff was hard to take...pretty sure that is the "fermented horse urine" Borat drinks in Kazakhstan.

[Freeport Warrior]

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.

Viewed the rare chick beer slide only once (bra and panties), but with the rugby guys, it was an almost nightly occurrence toward the end of the semester. Also saw three brothers, arms around each other, doing one together at the end of finals week in 1990.  

[🏀]

Pics or it doesn't exist.

I'll get some high schooler to snap some photos then.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I have the feeling that the naked beer slide was more urban legend than anything else.  Just like all the people who claim they have been cow-tipping.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping

Both were favorites of Chris Farley. Go figure.

[Canadian Dimes]

OPs and Good time Charlies were great places.  We used to walk to the games and were customary stop offs to warm up and have a beer at each place before braving the walk accross the overpass or to warm up after coming back across.

Naked beer slides were witnessed multiple times.  The lanche was my hangout 6 + nights a week for 2+ years .  the muddy beer soaked tile floor was a perfect surface to watch drunks run too fast and slide at top speed before crashing into a wall or video game.  Good times

[Norm]

Thursdays?  In the late 80s they were charging  that on Fridays and Saturdays.  Complete underage hangout.

They closed it my junior year, but they moved it (name and everything) across the viaduct.  They opened at this wonderful location in early February, and half the student body walked across the viaduct in freezing temps.  The police raided the place and closed it down the night it opened and there was a steady stream of very cold students coming back to campus around midnight.

Luckily I was already of age at the time and was likely at either the Ardmore or the Lanche when this all went down.

Hah! I was at the "new" Green Tree the night it was busted. It was a couple weeks after it opened, as I went there 3-4 times prior to the big bust. While the cops were busting people at the front door, my roommate and I finished our beers and our game of pool and then went out the emergency door, setting off the alarm, and a big group followed us out. The cops were too busy in the front to go after us. Had a big laugh on the walk home.

My freshmen year floor at McCormick practically lived at the "original" Green Tree. They would raffle off bongs, jugs of wine, boxes of Cracker Jacks, and all sorts of stuff. Seemed like every guy who won a bong lived on my floor. After the "new" Green Tree closed, they eventually reopened the "original" one about a year or two later, but the vibe was totally different and it pretty much catered to locals and bums in the area.

Lots of evenings freshmen year were spent strolling between OP's, Good Time Charlies, the State House and Green Tree. There was actually a bouncer at the Lanche that year who I went to high school with who would never let me in because he knew I was under age. Once he graduated the next year I spent lots of hours putting back 50 cent Red, White and Blues, and yes, watching hundreds of naked beer slides. Never did one myself because I never got over watching Joe Nathan do one where he got up afterwards with glass shards all over his body. Yikes!

[Spotcheck Billy]

DO NOT TRY TO TIP COWS!!

Cows aren't easy to tip over, and a failed attempt wakes the cow and freaks it out, so it starts mooing, and then all the other cows wake up and start mooing and coming over to see whats wrong, and suddenly you're surrounded by big freaked out cows making lots of noise and the lights come on in the house and... well I advise against the practice.

[AZWarrior]

Was not around for The Avalanche, but cow-tipping is pretty common in my parts.

PTM - your cred just took a hit.  Cows don't sleep standing up.

[Dr. Blackheart]

DO NOT TRY TO TIP COWS!!

Cows aren't easy to tip over, and a failed attempt wakes the cow and freaks it out, so it starts mooing, and then all the other cows wake up and start mooing and coming over to see whats wrong, and suddenly you're surrounded by big freaked out cows making lots of noise and the lights come on in the house and... well I advise against the practice.

So, you are saying, cow tipping is like an off season Scoop thread then?

[Newsdreams]

Seems by the evidence that the naked slides were more prevalent during late 80's & 90's. Anyone here use to go the Stone Toad & The Palms? Saw lots of good bands at those clubs

[SaintPaulWarrior]

Seems by the evidence that the naked slides were more prevalent during late 80's & 90's. Anyone here use to go the Stone Toad & The Palms? Saw lots of good bands at those clubs

The Palms
2600 W. State St.
The cavernous Palms (later a strip club) had no shortage of great gigs in the late '70s and early '80s, including U2, The Police, Bauhaus, Nick Lowe, Magazine, Wall of Voodoo, Gang of Four, David Johansen, The Pretenders, Talking Heads, Husker Du, The Replacements, The Ramones, 999, Squeeze, The (English) Beat, The Stranglers and Siouxsie and the Banshees. Alas, we can only remember seeing Milwaukee trio Kafka on the toweringly-high stage. The club was in the national news on Jan. 19, 1981 when The Plasmatics played there and singer Wendy O' Williams was arrested on an obscenity charge. Williams claimed MPD beat and sexually assaulted her.

Spent many nights and many dollars at The Palms.

The Avalanche Super Bar
15th and Wells Streets
For more than 60 years, The 'Lanche was more than a staple to the Marquette community -- it was home; the final bar stop; the place where students met the locals and all drank cheap "blues." When it closed on April 24, 1997, news reports said The Avalanche closed because of problems with rowdy patrons and vandalism, but we know that MU wanted the space for university use. And even though many a professor (and countless former students) will admit to doing a naked beer slide or two in his or her days, The 'Lanche was just one of those old-school, beer drinking, dingy bars that didn't fit on the newly spiffed up campus. As the saying goes: "Get your degree at Marquette, but get your education at The 'Lanche."

Same article  
http://onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/closedbars.html?viewall=1

[Freeport Warrior]

When it closed on April 24, 1997, news reports said The Avalanche closed because of problems with rowdy patrons and vandalism, but we know that MU wanted the space for university use.

The 'Lanche sat vacant for many years and its demolition was either amazingly calculated, or dumb luck. I remember heading to the bookstore for gear a few days after we beat Kentucky to get to the Final Four in 2003. The campus was buzzing. Demolition on the 'Lanche looked like it was just beginning. It was gone within days and no one even noticed. Bastards.