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Author Topic: WAY, way OT  (Read 24950 times)

MU Chi_IL

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WAY, way OT
« on: April 18, 2007, 02:27:31 PM »
This post was on another message board I read a long time and has since sparked much debate between friends so I thought I would bring it here to lighten up the mood.

I set my magic number at 40!

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.



rocky_warrior

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2007, 02:33:26 PM »
12.  Why?  Well I was watching the freshwaters part of the Planet Earth series, and 13 "little" otters were enough to discourage a huge crocodile from eating one of them.  Take away one otter, and I'm sure the croc would have dined  :P

So, I think I could take 12, 13 would just be one too many.

PTM

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 02:37:09 PM »
14-15.

Why 14-15? Because I've already done it.
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mu03eng

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2007, 02:43:38 PM »
28-30

Why?

Because I use to teach swim lessons at a beach and those kids would get hoped on candy and think it was learning to swim to try and drown the teacher.  Took on at least 15 once.

Bet I could pick one up right away grab him/her by the legs and spin around....should take out at least 5 or 6 right there.
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muarmy81

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2007, 02:51:43 PM »
Do they all come at you at once or in groups?  If its groups of 4 or 5 or something I think I could be there all day...

But to borrow a line from Dumb and Dumber:  "Who are these sick people?"

MarquetteDano

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2007, 02:59:11 PM »
LOL... love the question!

Well, if they get training am I certainly worried they will be taught to punch/kick me in the groin.  One lucky punch and things could get ugly (despite the cup).

Assuming no lucky punches, though, I will say I could handle about 15.

Either way, that would be one ugly scene at the end.  Funny, you said the kids could handle it despite the bloodshed... how about me!   :o
« Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 03:00:50 PM by MarquetteDano »

Henry Sugar

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2007, 03:28:05 PM »
#1 - You are in trouble the instant that one of the children is able to latch onto a leg or your back.  A five year old will weigh approximately 40 lbs and will probably bite.  Like a piranha, once one is able to latch on, efforts to remove this child will result in an inability to prevent other children from latching on.  At this point, it is only a matter of time before enough 40 lb children engaged in tactics to bring down an adult will eventually bring you down.

#2 - Once you hit the ground, you are done.  If there are enough children that have been trained to take you out, you won't be able to get back up.  There will be multiple five year olds going for your eyes, groin, throat, as well as biting.  At best, you will be able to fall only once and then recover.

The question is, "what is a reasonable number of children so that you cannot overcome these two issues."?  Staying upright is probably the most important issue.  I believe that there is no way you could handle any more than 16. 

Assuming that the children would be grouped into four teams of four attackers, or three teams of five attackers, I don't see any effective way to disable all four-five children without one latching on and biting.  This opens the door for the second team of children to enter and strike, at which point you are vulnerable to falling to the ground.
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MurphysWarrior04

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2007, 03:47:45 PM »
This question is why I need to stop checking this board during class... almost burst out laughing and would have blown my cover.

I am going to say 40-50.

Why?

If it is an area the size of a basketball court, I think you could run around enough to tire some of them out.  They are 5 year olds, after all.  With the occasional running jump kick to the head (assuming some sort of shoe is being worn) that would most likely take out your average 5 year old, I think you could take out a few at a time, and once you got a few out it would be easy from there.  It is important for this strategy that the amount of room (basketball court) is still big enough to maneuver away from some of the attackers, while still being able to "drive by" kick someone in the head.

I am probably underestimating their "little fists of fury", but I am sticking by this analysis...

mu_hilltopper

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2007, 03:51:17 PM »
See, but even if they did latch on to your legs .. the goal is to make them unconcious, so we're talking a very physical fight .. one very sharp bonk to the head ought to loosen the 5 year old's grip.    These are normal 5 year olds.  You inflict some serious pain on them, they're *at least* going to be stunned for a few minutes crying. -- Even if they're "trained" for a day to want to kill you.

I'm thinking it's more a matter of yourself tiring out than the kids getting to you.  Sure, you'd need some tactics, you couldn't let them surround you like sardines.  Rush 'em, pick one up by the feet and start windmilling him, then let 'em fly and bowl some over.  Pick another up and repeat.

Knowing that you could stun one for minutes with one solid punch  .. I'm thinking you could last for quite some time .. 40-50.

dwaderoy2004

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2007, 03:53:58 PM »
we had a similar question going on between my friends in college, but was basically alon gthe lines of who would win in a fight, mike tyson in his proime, or 50 midgets?  I always bet on the midgets.  

anyway, regarding this question, I'd say one is only limited to how tired they get.  only 8 or so of these ankle biters will have access to you at any point in time, therefore, your ability to win depends on your ability to be able to take on 8 kids.  since your taller, you will be able to go three stooges on them and clunk their heads together.  remember, you only need to knock them out.  then, the kids will have to remove those bodies before more kids would have access to you.  if you just stood still and continuously knocked heads together, i maintain you could go on for as long as you had the energy.  I would set my limit at about 50.

Discombobulated

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2007, 03:56:26 PM »
I think I could take out 50. I would use my tactical training courtesy of 30 years of Dungeons and Dragons to find a either a corner or a doorway that would only allow a few of them to get to me at a time. I figure I could always handle 4 or 5 at once. After about 50, though, I'd be so tired that any more would be able to take me. It's all in the strategy folks.

IAmMarquette

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2007, 03:57:28 PM »
Assume your average 5 year old stands roughly at knee-level. Coincidence?

I also like the idea of 5 year olds as projectiles used against other 5 year olds.

mu_hilltopper

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2007, 04:03:57 PM »
Best. Thread. Ever.

Clearly, this should be a new contest on the Fox network, right after "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" .. interviews with the kids, how they trained .. slo-mo replays. 

Now that's entertainment.

MU Chi_IL

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2007, 04:16:58 PM »
Here is why I think 40 is a realistic number:

-   5 year olds don’t have the strength to knock you out unless you fall and crack you head
-   One day of hand to hand training is one thing for an adult, to a 5 year old it is nothing more then a day of play time, and the chance they could remember and execute on anything they learned is far fetched.  I think you are looking at a free for all at the beginning.  If you can dodge and weave for about 10 mins, picking a few off here and there, they would tire out.
-   I don’t think 5 years old would be able to attack with any kind of organization.  They may have a plan that was given to them at the beginning, but they are like goldfish after that and would just be running after you like a swarm.
-   If you got swarmed, all you would need is to get about two steps of momentum to break free from the pack; they could not stop an adult’s mass.
-   Even if you cannot get a great shot on a five year old, almost any blow is going to stun a kid. 
-   A basketball court is a very large place.
-   Even if you hit the ground, the best they could do is jump on you (maybe a few kicks and punches).  If you cover up, I think you can get back on your feet with some wild kicking to clear some space.
-   The Mike/Tyson and 50 little people is whole different story since I assume you are talking about adults on crazy adult.
-   Everything I have said above can be thrown out if they decide to use the wide post on you!

Anyone that says 15 or less is either under estimating yourself or played soccer in high school (I kid)!!!!

Henry Sugar

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2007, 04:46:22 PM »
Let's consider some facts:

Average child's height and weight at 5 years old (43 inches ; 42 lbs).  This is the average, but children can range even higher or lower.  What does this mean?  It's a 3 foot, six inch person that weighs as much as the heaviest weight plate at a gym.  A five year old will come up to over waist high, not knee high.  In addition, five year olds have physical coordination as well as basic comprehension.  Plus, five year olds have a higher proportional energy level than most people.  We are not talking about toddlers here.  I think that people are underestimating the capabilities of a five year old.

In addition, I think that people are underestimating the impact of biting and grabbing.  This is how a five year old gets you... it's not by punching.  All that really needs to happen is for one five year old to grab a leg and start chewing.  If there is time for a second five year old to attack during that time, you are toast.

I think with 15-16 five year olds, you could probably run away for about 10 min, but eventually you go down.  All the strategies of going beyond this number count on not making any mistakes... not letting a five year old grab you and not falling. 

Swarms are proven as effective in nature time and time again.  Think bees, piranhas, and wolves attacking the moose.  The pack wins, and it's only a matter of time.  More five year olds just means that you go down quicker.
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rocky_warrior

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2007, 05:25:27 PM »
Swarms are proven as effective in nature time and time again.  Think bees, piranhas, and wolves attacking the moose.  The pack wins, and it's only a matter of time.  More five year olds just means that you go down quicker.

I'm with you Henry (ala the otters).

muwarrior87

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2007, 09:14:56 AM »
some of you guys are underestimating the tenacity of kids this age. Having been a playground leader and tennis instructor for the Park and Rec Dept. back home, I've dealt with mobs of up to 25 at a time and this does include them jumping on me and me getting mauled by them just fooling around. But I would say that I would be able to tak out somewhere around 35 of these kids. You'd be surprised how orginized they get in their attacking and how hard it is to knock them out...not that I have...

So 35 for me.

mu_hilltopper

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2007, 10:23:51 AM »
But, see, that's the thing.  These aren't superkids.  Knocking them out, while the "end goal" isn't the tactic.  You land a decent blow on their ear (think what an ice ball does!) and they're going to stop and cry for at least a minute or two.

.. I'm still thinking of a Fox network show.  But it'd be hard getting American parents to let their 5 year olds in this. 

MU Chi_IL

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2007, 11:03:39 AM »
People are giving a lot of credit to 5 years, does the breakdown below scare you?

Know you enemy

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

* weight: 31-57 pounds
* height: 39-48 inches
* requires approximately 1,700 calories daily
* sleeps 10-11 hours at night
* may begin to loose baby teeth
* able to dress self with little assistance
* learns to skip
* throws ball overhead
* catches bounced balls
* rides a tricycle skillfully; may show interest in riding a bicycle with training wheels
* balances on either foot for 5-10 seconds
* uses a fork and knife well
* cuts on a line with scissors
* left or right hand dominance is established
* walks down stairs, alternating feet without using a handrail
* jumps over low objects
* can run, gallop, and tumble
* can skip and run on tiptoe
* can jump rope
* interested in performing tricks like standing on head, performing dance steps
* capable of learning complex body coordination skills like swimming, ice or roller skating, and riding bicycles
* may be able to tie shoelaces
* may be able to copy simple designs and shapes

SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

* invents games with simple rules
* organizes other children and toys for pretend play
* still confuses fantasy with reality sometimes
* often fears loud noises, the dark, animals, and some people
* can take turns and share, but doesn't always want to
* expresses anger and jealousy physically
* likes to test muscular strength and motor skills, but is not emotionally ready for competition
* carries on conversations with other children and adults
* often excludes other children in play - best friends only
* uses swear words or "bathroom words" to get attention
* sometimes can be very bossy
* likes to try new things and take risks
* likes to make own decisions
* notices when another child is angry or sad - more sensitive to feelings of others
* prefers company of 1 or 2 children at a time; may become bossy or sulky when others join in
* likes to feel grown up; boasts about self to younger, less capable children
* begins to have a very basic understanding of right and wrong
* plays contentedly and independently without constant supervision
* takes turns and shares (sometimes)
* understands and respects rules - often asks permission
* understands and enjoys both giving and receiving
* enjoys collecting things
* sometimes needs to get away and be alone
* can understand relationships among people and similarities and differences in other families
* seeks adult approval
* sometimes critical of other children and embarrassed by own mistakes
* less fearful of the world than toddlers because understands the world better
* has a good sense of humor, and enjoys sharing jokes and laughter with adults

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT

* understands about 13,000 words
* uses 5-8 words in a sentence
* likes to argue and reason; use words like "because"
* knows basic colors like red, yellow, blue, green, orange
* able to memorize address and phone number
* understands that stories have a beginning, middle, and end
* able to remember stories and repeat them
* enjoys creating and telling stories
* understands that books are read from left to right, top to bottom
* enjoys riddles and jokes
* draws pictures that represent animals, people, and objects
* enjoys tracing or copying letters
* can place objects in order from shortest to tallest
* can understand and use comparative terms like big, bigger, or biggest
* sorts objects by size
* identifies some letters of the alphabet and a few numbers (if taught)
* understands "more," "less," and "same"
* counts up to 10 objects
* recognizes categories ("These are all animals; these are all toys.")
* understands before and after, above, and below
* block and dramatic play is much more elaborate and complex
* has good attention span and can concentrate well
* is project minded - plans buildings, play scenarios, and drawings
* interested in cause and effect
* can understand time concepts like yesterday, today, and tomorrow

Copyright/Access Information
Lesia Oesterreich, M.S.
Family Life Extension Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
Iowa State University


RawdogDX

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2007, 02:06:38 PM »
DO any of you who are saying 40 work out?  Go to a gym find a punching bag and hit it for 2 minutes streight.  Unless you are use to it you probably will be firing weak punches after 60 seconds.  If there are 40 of them and you try to run around you would become tired and make a mistake.  Unless you are in peak condition you don't stand a chance against that many. 

ZiggysFryBoy

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2007, 02:41:34 PM »
I think RawDog could take on at least 75.  I heard he's ripped.  And dreamy.   :-*
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drewm88

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2007, 04:55:54 PM »
There seems to be two groups here: the 15ish group and the 40ish group.

I'm going to go in between and say 30.

I would be using a lot of the windmill technique, kicking, and cheap shots.

MarquetteDano

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LMAO
« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2007, 06:56:09 PM »
There seems to be two groups here: the 15ish group and the 40ish group.

I'm going to go in between and say 30.

I would be using a lot of the windmill technique, kicking, and cheap shots.

I love Drew's cheap shots!!! LOL.  I just love the idea of giving total cheap shots to various 5 year olds whilst they are trying to attack.  Really... needs to be a staged movie scene.   :D

RawdogDX

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #23 on: April 20, 2007, 09:18:26 AM »
I think RawDog could take on at least 75.  I heard he's ripped.  And dreamy.   :-*

some might agree, and i think my flying knee kicks would be extremely productive.

muwarrior87

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Re: WAY, way OT
« Reply #24 on: April 20, 2007, 10:34:48 AM »
kicking works better than punching, they aren't that tall so it's easy to blow a decent kick to the head moreso than a punch and it will cause more damage.