Parents at sporting events

[MU82]

I coached youth sports forever (as well as reffed basketball and umpired baseball) and I used to give a letter to every parent before every season that basically said I don't want to hear anything out of your mouths during the games other than support for your kids.  Because the leagues were pay to play, I told them that every kid was going to play roughly the same amount and that my goals were first to make sure the kids had fun, second that they learned the game and improved their skills, and thirdly that we win some games.

The thing most youth coaches don't understand is that when you force the weaker kids to play important roles, and not just obviously bury them in spots where they can do the least damage, they feel more like part of them team and they get better at a much faster rate.  I won a lot more than I lost with this philosophy, and always had less dead weight by the end of the season, as the weaker kids would not be stars, but at least would be passable.  One of my favorite comments I got from a parent was "I used to have to drag my kid to the games and practices because he felt like the team really didn't need or want him, but on your team he feels like you really need him and he looks forward to playing."  That attitude is always what I was trying to foster.

As for umpires/refs, I would immediately admonish parents who said anything negative to them, and when I had my complaints I would quietly discuss with them between innings or during timeouts.  With the kid umps, the only thing I would do after the game is offer advice on where to stand, what to look for or whatever, never complain about individual calls, no matter how much I wanted to.

You are to be commended, CT. You could write the textbook on how to be a youth sports coach. The kids under your charge (and their parents) benefited greatly from having you as coach.

[LAMUfan]

My younger daughter plays water polo.  Fortunately, my questionable swimming skills prevent me from even contemplating something like this.  It's embarrassing if the kid you are confronting has to first save you from drowning.

The best thing about playing water polo is that you can't here any of the parents from the stands anyway

[Dr. Blackheart]

The best thing about playing water polo is that you can't here any of the parents from the stands anyway

And most of the fouling occurs underwater in the private parts...

[Pakuni]

I was lucky. I coached youth soccer for my daughters (about six or seven seasons total), and never had a nasty parent experience in one of our games.

Maybe their amusement saved us - me coaching soccer is like the blind leading the blind.

Same here. Between Little League, softball and soccer, I've coached (I think) 10 seasons of youth sports and never had a really bad experience with a parent. Some aren't as responsible as they should be picking up their kids from practice on time and some have complained a little too loudly about the officials, but nothing truly negative.

My favorite story involves the parent who asked the league's policy concerning alcohol in the stands. Apparently he couldn't get through his kid's game without knocking back a few.

[CTWarrior]

Same here. Between Little League, softball and soccer, I've coached (I think) 10 seasons of youth sports and never had a really bad experience with a parent. Some aren't as responsible as they should be picking up their kids from practice on time and some have complained a little too loudly about the officials, but nothing truly negative.

My favorite story involves the parent who asked the league's policy concerning alcohol in the stands. Apparently he couldn't get through his kid's game without knocking back a few.

In one stretch I coached my son in the same system from ages 5-14 (Moving to the next level every two years) and consequently my wife and I got to be friends with a lot of the parents in the league and we had a lot of kids we kept together over the last four years.  In the later years my wife used to bring margaritas in a jug for her and the other moms and made sure the kids stayed away from the "Mommy lemonade".  That whole time was a great stretch of fun.  Had great parents and good kids.

[GGGG]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

[TSmith34, Inc.]

And most of the fouling occurs underwater in the private parts...

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

[Dr. Blackheart]

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

There is a reason players wear leather suits. My daughters both played and have "interesting" stories.  Where she play?

Might be the toughest sport, btw.

[LAMUfan]

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

Man, I got water polo stories if you want.  The down side to being a goalie is the broken nose potential, my high school coach was a college all american goalie and broke his nose 14 times last time I checked, I broke my teammates nose in a practice (with the ball)

[rocket surgeon]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

which part?  the "doin things" with the other couples or the coaching?

[TSmith34, Inc.]

There is a reason players wear leather suits. My daughters both played and have "interesting" stories.  Where she play?

Might be the toughest sport, btw.

We are in Texas, so far from the epicenter in California.  That said, they played great at Nationals this summer and rolled four pretty good Cali teams in the tournament and made the Platinum division. It probably is actually to our advantage that the sport is small here to the point where our girls frequently play against all-boys teams because they aren't enough all-girls teams to fill a bracket.

As far as being a good parent at sporting events, it helps that growing up in Wisconsin, I had absolutely no understanding of the game until my daughter started playing (and for a while after).  You can't really complain when you aren't really sure what just happened. I had more familiarity with curling than water polo.

As their shirts say, "If water polo was easy they'd call it football".

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

Water Polo is brutal.

Only one of two times I suffered a sports related injury, and I wasn't even playing a "competitive" game, it was during high school PE class.

Side note, parents have been on their best behavior as of late.

[Pakuni]

Is intramural inner tube water polo still a thing at Marquette?

[MU82]

I was on my HS swim team one year. As a treat once or twice a month, the coach used to let us play water polo for the last hour of practice. It was absolutely brutal. Just about no rules. Blood in the water frequently.

[StillAWarrior]

I was on my HS swim team one year. As a treat once or twice a month, the coach used to let us play water polo for the last hour of practice. It was absolutely brutal. Just about no rules. Blood in the water frequently.

Our swim team often played for an hour at the end of practice on Fridays.  Added level of difficulty: jeans and long sleeve t-shirts for the first half hour; she viewed it as conditioning.  But, when we stripped down to our Speedos, it felt like we were floating.

[MU82]

Our swim team often played for an hour at the end of practice on Fridays.  Added level of difficulty: jeans and long sleeve t-shirts for the first half hour; she viewed it as conditioning.  But, when we stripped down to our Speedos, it felt like we were floating.

Interesting.

[Skitch]

How do you keep the horses from drowning?

/dadjoke

[tower912]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening. 

[TSmith34, Inc.]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening.

No complaints about your mind games?

[Dr. Blackheart]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

[TSmith34, Inc.]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

We've had boys punch girls so hard in the stomach that they vomited, but never actually tore off body parts.  Ouch.

[rocket surgeon]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

Sounds like assault to me, but I guess it's all part of the game, eyn'er?

[Dr. Blackheart]

We've had boys punch girls so hard in the stomach that they vomited, but never actually tore off body parts.  Ouch.

Girl on girl violence

[Benny B]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

Getting pretty tiring to explain why your kid is the only one playing basketball in goth makeup?  Or trying to inspire the next Cat Stevens?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening.

5th graders.  Got good necks?