Parents at sporting events

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

It just keeps getting worse and worse...

Was at a game today where a parent got in the face and tried to start of fight because the kid yelled "Cheeseburger" and faked sneezed during a free throw. The kicker? the parent screamed "have some class" in the kids face.

Another one from last week parents actively cheering for their child's team to lose because their kid wasn't playing.

And the final one, a kid got an inadvertent elbow to the face on a rebound, completely accidental. The parent moves from their seat behind the opposing teams bench to scream at the players for the rest of the game.

[tower912]

A symptom.   I am grateful to have supportive, positive parents of the kids I get to coach.

[warriorchick]

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

That's an awesome sign.

[StillAWarrior]

Re No. 5:  Yeah, I know...thanks to the idiot coach and my kid's crappy teammates.

[warriorchick]

Re No. 5:  Yeah, I know...thanks to the idiot coach and my kid's crappy teammates.

Not to mention the blind ump who is calling the obvious strikes your kid is throwing as balls.

[BrewCity83]

It just keeps getting worse and worse...

Was at a game today where a parent got in the face and tried to start of fight because the kid yelled "Cheeseburger" and faked sneezed during a free throw. The kicker? the parent screamed "have some class" in the kids face.

C'mon, the kid was just trying out his best free throw defense....

[mu_hilltopper]

Craig Counsel is regularly at our little league watching his kid .. and probably scouting. 

[Skitch]

I don't think you can say it's getting worse and worse. I coached little league baseball from 93-96 and there were awesome parents, complaining parents, and abusive belligerent parents. We were the only coaches in the league that didn't have kids of our own and we oftentimes had to remind parents that they were welcome to take over if they could do better.  Surprisingly no one did.

Those kids may have kids now old enough to be playing in that same league. Scary.

[StillAWarrior]

I don't think you can say it's getting worse and worse. I coached little league baseball from 93-96 and there were awesome parents, complaining parents, and abusive belligerent parents. We were the only coaches in the league that didn't have kids of our own and we oftentimes had to remind parents that they were welcome to take over if they could do better.  Surprisingly no one did.

Those kids may have kids now old enough to be playing in that same league. Scary.

Ditto mid-80's.  And bear in mind that at the time in our town, it was HS kids coaching the little league teams.  And parents still were obnoxious to the coaches.

[mu_hilltopper]

We had a coach (who'd donated large $$) who berated a 13-year old umpire, enough so that other coaches and parents intervened.   Police were called and he was removed.  The kicker was, weeks later, his team won the championship, much to the joy of no one.

He did it again the next year, and was banned from the park.

I mean, jesus, what's the #1 thing you do not do?  Berate a 13 year old umpire?  Are you freaking kidding me?

[MU82]

I don't think you can say it's getting worse and worse. I coached little league baseball from 93-96 and there were awesome parents, complaining parents, and abusive belligerent parents. We were the only coaches in the league that didn't have kids of our own and we oftentimes had to remind parents that they were welcome to take over if they could do better.  Surprisingly no one did.

Those kids may have kids now old enough to be playing in that same league. Scary.

I pretty much agree with this.

I have been playing/parenting/coaching/officiating youth sports for 45 years. I can give many instances of crap that happened 40 years ago, some that happened when I reffed 2 weeks ago - and every time in between.

In general, I have found most parents, coaches and athletes to be OK. Some better than others, few horrible.

The truly horrible ones are the ones we remember, and when one happens now, the reaction tends to be, "It's getting worse!" That's recency bias.

I do love chickadee's sign, though!

[Hards Alumni]

We had a coach (who'd donated large $$) who berated a 13-year old umpire, enough so that other coaches and parents intervened.   Police were called and he was removed.  The kicker was, weeks later, his team won the championship, much to the joy of no one.

He did it again the next year, and was banned from the park.

I mean, jesus, what's the #1 thing you do not do?  Berate a 13 year old umpire?  Are you freaking kidding me?

My brother, (18-20) at the time used to ump beer league softball in my hometown.  No idea why he did it.  20-50 year old men are extremely mean... sorta like 13 year old girls.

Didn't stop my brother from throwing more than a few out of games for it.  I think he got a bit of satisfaction from that part.

[warriorchick]

My brother, (18-20) at the time used to ump beer league softball in my hometown.  No idea why he did it.  20-50 year old men are extremely mean... sorta like 13 year old girls.

Didn't stop my brother from throwing more than a few out of games for it.  I think he got a bit of satisfaction from that part.

I reffed the highly-competitive intramural basketball league at Marquette.  Those guys were the worst. Look, I am sorry you didn't get a D-1 scholly, but don't take it out on me.

[Hards Alumni]

I reffed the highly-competitive intramural basketball at Marquette.  Those guys were the worst.  I am sorry you didn't get a D-1 scholly, but don't take it out on me.

I was friends with plenty of those guys.

I'm sorry... they were the worst.

[SaveOD238]

My brother, (18-20) at the time used to ump beer league softball in my hometown.  No idea why he did it.  20-50 year old men are extremely mean... sorta like 13 year old girls.

Didn't stop my brother from throwing more than a few out of games for it.  I think he got a bit of satisfaction from that part.

I umpire at the Rock in Franklin.  The old guy (55+) and college-aged (18-28) leagues are a blast.  The men in the 28+ and 35+ leagues are terrible.  They act worse than children.

[MU82]

I reffed the highly-competitive intramural basketball league at Marquette.  Those guys were the worst. Look, I am sorry you didn't get a D-1 scholly, but don't take it out on me.

Back in my olden daze playing intramural hoops at Helfaer, they only had one ref at every game. He or she couldn't possibly see everything, so I pretty much did anything and everything I could get away with until I got caught.

For example, I'd stand in the lane for 20 seconds or however long until the ref showed me he/she would call 3-seconds on me. Never happened. I used to grab and clutch and hold. I was Macura ... except I sucked at basketball.

[CTWarrior]

I coached youth sports forever (as well as reffed basketball and umpired baseball) and I used to give a letter to every parent before every season that basically said I don't want to hear anything out of your mouths during the games other than support for your kids.  Because the leagues were pay to play, I told them that every kid was going to play roughly the same amount and that my goals were first to make sure the kids had fun, second that they learned the game and improved their skills, and thirdly that we win some games.

The thing most youth coaches don't understand is that when you force the weaker kids to play important roles, and not just obviously bury them in spots where they can do the least damage, they feel more like part of them team and they get better at a much faster rate.  I won a lot more than I lost with this philosophy, and always had less dead weight by the end of the season, as the weaker kids would not be stars, but at least would be passable.  One of my favorite comments I got from a parent was "I used to have to drag my kid to the games and practices because he felt like the team really didn't need or want him, but on your team he feels like you really need him and he looks forward to playing."  That attitude is always what I was trying to foster.

As for umpires/refs, I would immediately admonish parents who said anything negative to them, and when I had my complaints I would quietly discuss with them between innings or during timeouts.  With the kid umps, the only thing I would do after the game is offer advice on where to stand, what to look for or whatever, never complain about individual calls, no matter how much I wanted to.

[tower912]

Had one of those parents the other night.
Yelling because....  she didn't like the way my team set picks played defense, got the ball to a hot shooter, held the ball with a 10  point   lead and 3 minutes left.  Didn't like the refs for a 5th grade basketball game.  Didn't like the way the coach of her kid's team.... didn't stop the pick and roll, didn't play her kid more, didn't yell at the refs enough and that we only won because their best player was gone.

Bad enough that by the end of the game, everyone had moved away from her and she had the section of bleachers to herself.  And then she went to the other coach after the game.

I sent an email to the parents of my team thanking them for not acting like that.

[Benny B]

In nearly 10 years of officiating youth hockey, I never encountered anything remotely close to what you guys are describing from the fans/parents.  Never.

USA Hockey instituted a zero-tolerance policy many years ago... essentially, if anything unsportsmanlike comes from the bench, it was an automatic bench minor the first time and the coach was ejected the second.  Anything unsportsmanlike coming from the stands and the referee would stop the game, ask both coaches to figure out "who did it," and if they took more than 30 seconds to do so, the players were sent to their benches and the scoreboard operator was instructed to run the game clock.  Since the game would not resume until the offender(s) leave the rink, you'd be surprised at how consistently reliable and willing the parents/fans (from the same team, no less) would reveal the offender(s).

[TSmith34, Inc.]

It just keeps getting worse and worse...

Was at a game today where a parent got in the face and tried to start of fight because the kid yelled "Cheeseburger" and faked sneezed during a free throw. The kicker? the parent screamed "have some class" in the kids face.

Another one from last week parents actively cheering for their child's team to lose because their kid wasn't playing.

And the final one, a kid got an inadvertent elbow to the face on a rebound, completely accidental. The parent moves from their seat behind the opposing teams bench to scream at the players for the rest of the game.

My younger daughter plays water polo.  Fortunately, my questionable swimming skills prevent me from even contemplating something like this.  It's embarrassing if the kid you are confronting has to first save you from drowning.

[#UnleashSean]

Had one of those parents the other night.
Yelling because....  she didn't like the way my team set picks played defense, got the ball to a hot shooter, held the ball with a 10  point   lead and 3 minutes left.  Didn't like the refs for a 5th grade basketball game.  Didn't like the way the coach of her kid's team.... didn't stop the pick and roll, didn't play her kid more, didn't yell at the refs enough and that we only won because their best player was gone.

Bad enough that by the end of the game, everyone had moved away from her and she had the section of bleachers to herself.  And then she went to the other coach after the game.

I sent an email to the parents of my team thanking them for not acting like that.

The one thing I don't do in youth basketball is hold the the ball unless it's under a minute. I'll tell them to slow down but I'm training these kids to be successful at the high school level. Not win at the youth. This is why my tallest kid isnt stuck inside the paint the entire game etc.

Teaching them to hold the ball with 3 minutes isn't going to help them out when the inevitable shot clock comes to high school in a couple years.

[patso]

I hated that in high school where I was about six foot tall and was always made to play center and offensive lineman in football rather than any of the skill positions. And the smaller kids were always point guard or wide receiver.

[tower912]

The one thing I don't do in youth basketball is hold the the ball unless it's under a minute. I'll tell them to slow down but I'm training these kids to be successful at the high school level. Not win at the youth. This is why my tallest kid isnt stuck inside the paint the entire game etc.

Teaching them to hold the ball with 3 minutes isn't going to help them out when the inevitable shot clock comes to high school in a couple years.

The 5th grade team has no height.  We are teaching them all to handle the ball.  I generally agree with not holding the ball.  That is one of the few things I disagree with my Co-coach about.   His counter argument is that he has been accused of running up the score in similar situations.  So he will sit on the ball and make the other team foul.  I argue to let the kids keep playing.  He gets to make the final call.

[GooooMarquette]

I was lucky. I coached youth soccer for my daughters (about six or seven seasons total), and never had a nasty parent experience in one of our games.

Maybe their amusement saved us - me coaching soccer is like the blind leading the blind.

[MU82]

I coached youth sports forever (as well as reffed basketball and umpired baseball) and I used to give a letter to every parent before every season that basically said I don't want to hear anything out of your mouths during the games other than support for your kids.  Because the leagues were pay to play, I told them that every kid was going to play roughly the same amount and that my goals were first to make sure the kids had fun, second that they learned the game and improved their skills, and thirdly that we win some games.

The thing most youth coaches don't understand is that when you force the weaker kids to play important roles, and not just obviously bury them in spots where they can do the least damage, they feel more like part of them team and they get better at a much faster rate.  I won a lot more than I lost with this philosophy, and always had less dead weight by the end of the season, as the weaker kids would not be stars, but at least would be passable.  One of my favorite comments I got from a parent was "I used to have to drag my kid to the games and practices because he felt like the team really didn't need or want him, but on your team he feels like you really need him and he looks forward to playing."  That attitude is always what I was trying to foster.

As for umpires/refs, I would immediately admonish parents who said anything negative to them, and when I had my complaints I would quietly discuss with them between innings or during timeouts.  With the kid umps, the only thing I would do after the game is offer advice on where to stand, what to look for or whatever, never complain about individual calls, no matter how much I wanted to.

You are to be commended, CT. You could write the textbook on how to be a youth sports coach. The kids under your charge (and their parents) benefited greatly from having you as coach.

[LAMUfan]

My younger daughter plays water polo.  Fortunately, my questionable swimming skills prevent me from even contemplating something like this.  It's embarrassing if the kid you are confronting has to first save you from drowning.

The best thing about playing water polo is that you can't here any of the parents from the stands anyway

[Dr. Blackheart]

The best thing about playing water polo is that you can't here any of the parents from the stands anyway

And most of the fouling occurs underwater in the private parts...

[Pakuni]

I was lucky. I coached youth soccer for my daughters (about six or seven seasons total), and never had a nasty parent experience in one of our games.

Maybe their amusement saved us - me coaching soccer is like the blind leading the blind.

Same here. Between Little League, softball and soccer, I've coached (I think) 10 seasons of youth sports and never had a really bad experience with a parent. Some aren't as responsible as they should be picking up their kids from practice on time and some have complained a little too loudly about the officials, but nothing truly negative.

My favorite story involves the parent who asked the league's policy concerning alcohol in the stands. Apparently he couldn't get through his kid's game without knocking back a few.

[CTWarrior]

Same here. Between Little League, softball and soccer, I've coached (I think) 10 seasons of youth sports and never had a really bad experience with a parent. Some aren't as responsible as they should be picking up their kids from practice on time and some have complained a little too loudly about the officials, but nothing truly negative.

My favorite story involves the parent who asked the league's policy concerning alcohol in the stands. Apparently he couldn't get through his kid's game without knocking back a few.

In one stretch I coached my son in the same system from ages 5-14 (Moving to the next level every two years) and consequently my wife and I got to be friends with a lot of the parents in the league and we had a lot of kids we kept together over the last four years.  In the later years my wife used to bring margaritas in a jug for her and the other moms and made sure the kids stayed away from the "Mommy lemonade".  That whole time was a great stretch of fun.  Had great parents and good kids.

[GGGG]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

[TSmith34, Inc.]

And most of the fouling occurs underwater in the private parts...

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

[Dr. Blackheart]

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

There is a reason players wear leather suits. My daughters both played and have "interesting" stories.  Where she play?

Might be the toughest sport, btw.

[LAMUfan]

Thankfully she plays goalie, and they tend to get special protection rules akin to NFL QBs (including no longer getting that special protection if they move out of the pocket, i.e., the goal).  She did, however, take a forearm shiver to the forehead this weekend but just laughed it off.

But anything you can get away with underwater...I know one kid who has a track record of biting.

Man, I got water polo stories if you want.  The down side to being a goalie is the broken nose potential, my high school coach was a college all american goalie and broke his nose 14 times last time I checked, I broke my teammates nose in a practice (with the ball)

[rocket surgeon]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

which part?  the "doin things" with the other couples or the coaching?

[TSmith34, Inc.]

There is a reason players wear leather suits. My daughters both played and have "interesting" stories.  Where she play?

Might be the toughest sport, btw.

We are in Texas, so far from the epicenter in California.  That said, they played great at Nationals this summer and rolled four pretty good Cali teams in the tournament and made the Platinum division. It probably is actually to our advantage that the sport is small here to the point where our girls frequently play against all-boys teams because they aren't enough all-girls teams to fill a bracket.

As far as being a good parent at sporting events, it helps that growing up in Wisconsin, I had absolutely no understanding of the game until my daughter started playing (and for a while after).  You can't really complain when you aren't really sure what just happened. I had more familiarity with curling than water polo.

As their shirts say, "If water polo was easy they'd call it football".

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

Water Polo is brutal.

Only one of two times I suffered a sports related injury, and I wasn't even playing a "competitive" game, it was during high school PE class.

Side note, parents have been on their best behavior as of late.

[Pakuni]

Is intramural inner tube water polo still a thing at Marquette?

[MU82]

I was on my HS swim team one year. As a treat once or twice a month, the coach used to let us play water polo for the last hour of practice. It was absolutely brutal. Just about no rules. Blood in the water frequently.

[StillAWarrior]

I was on my HS swim team one year. As a treat once or twice a month, the coach used to let us play water polo for the last hour of practice. It was absolutely brutal. Just about no rules. Blood in the water frequently.

Our swim team often played for an hour at the end of practice on Fridays.  Added level of difficulty: jeans and long sleeve t-shirts for the first half hour; she viewed it as conditioning.  But, when we stripped down to our Speedos, it felt like we were floating.

[MU82]

Our swim team often played for an hour at the end of practice on Fridays.  Added level of difficulty: jeans and long sleeve t-shirts for the first half hour; she viewed it as conditioning.  But, when we stripped down to our Speedos, it felt like we were floating.

Interesting.

[Skitch]

How do you keep the horses from drowning?

/dadjoke

[tower912]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening. 

[TSmith34, Inc.]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening.

No complaints about your mind games?

[Dr. Blackheart]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

[TSmith34, Inc.]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

We've had boys punch girls so hard in the stomach that they vomited, but never actually tore off body parts.  Ouch.

[rocket surgeon]

My daughter was at a tournament (not in this game) and one girl gave a titty twister so hard she ripped the opposing girl's nipple off.  Ambulance had to be called so they could sew it back on in the ER. 

A year later at a camp at UCLA she told this story and they called over the head UCLA coach.  He had never heard a story so wild. Turns out he became the Olympic Gold Medal coach and she had her water polo highlight.

Sounds like assault to me, but I guess it’s all part of the game, eyn’er?

[Dr. Blackheart]

We've had boys punch girls so hard in the stomach that they vomited, but never actually tore off body parts.  Ouch.

Girl on girl violence

[Benny B]

We would not have met with the three couples who we do things with the most (dinners, vacations, etc.,) if it weren't for youth basketball.  That being said, I'm glad that era is behind me.

Getting pretty tiring to explain why your kid is the only one playing basketball in goth makeup?  Or trying to inspire the next Cat Stevens?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I'm worried.   Somebody started "All-Saints-Academy-5th-Grade-Boys-Scoop" and now all of the parents are criticizing my coaching,  my recruiting, the defense we are playing, rebounding, conditioning, player rotations.    My wife is monitoring it closely and letting me know if anybody is posting negative things about me.    Some people want me to run zone, some hate zone.    Some want me to have them push the ball, some want me to have the kids control the pace.   I've got 7 players and some think their kid is playing too much, some think their kid is playing too little, some think I am playing their kid at the wrong position.   

Just kidding.    That would be maddening.

5th graders.  Got good necks?