Parenting: tips, tricks, stories and more

[Galway Eagle]

As I come off a sleepless night and a longgg day I thought a parenting thread might be a hopefully purely positive place where people can pick each other's brains for wisdom, share stories, vent, etc

How'd everyone stay in shape when their kid was born? Between work and the commute my days gutted and short. Suggestions?

[Shaka Shart]

As I come off a sleepless night and a longgg day I thought a parenting thread might be a hopefully purely positive place where people can pick each other's brains for wisdom, share stories, vent, etc

How'd everyone stay in shape when their kid was born? Between work and the commute my days gutted and short. Suggestions?

Setting hard stops for work to be active (or even leaving early) and finishing it up after the baby goes to bed

[muwarrior69]

Enjoy this time. Before you know it, your baby will be asking you the same question.

[tower912]

Cherish every sleepless minute. It is the best and most important thing you will ever do.  Accept your conditioning may be off for a bit.   Push the stroller on your run.   Let your child watch you work out.  You are modeling behavior.

Most of all, laugh. Every child is an adventure, a comedy, a puzzle.

[Lennys Tap]

Staying in shape (at least peak shape) moves to the back burner. Don't worry about it, you're young and will catch up on that later.

I'm with Tower on this - cherish every moment, be amazed at the miracle you're seeing each day. You won't regret it.

[The Sultan]

How'd everyone stay in shape when their kid was born?

It won't be long before baby gets on a more regular schedule and you'll be able to run a bit.

[Uncle Rico]

Get them jobs at a young age and always tell them things were both harder and better when you were young

[Skatastrophy]

My friends have a few nannies and a night nurse. They seem to have none of the issues that you all have.

Make more money and all of your problems will disappear.

[JWags85]

At the risk of being overly philosophical, always try to make time daily to reset and remember how incredible kids and parenthood is.  My son is just over 2, incredibly smart, and also in an incredibly independent and strong willed phase, so he can be an absolute headache.  But as frustrating (and frankly annoying  ) he can be at times, as soon as he's asleep and I'm taking a minute to relax, I can strip that away and focus on how incredible he is and how much I miss him as soon as I leave for a trip.

As for fitness, you just gotta shift your times and make it a priority.  Do it earlier, do it later, find ways to make it work.  Honestly, when he was under a year, I found it much easier to slip away for 30-45 min and workout cause he napped a bunch or went to sleep really early or was other was non-mobile so it was easier for us to switch off watching.  Now its a bit harder, but I still figure out a way.  Its certainly different that the pretty consistent 2 hour window I worked out in 5-6 days a week.

I understand Lenny's perspective, but I honestly feel like its the perfect break point that separates people who were in shape/regularly excercised cause they liked it, made them feel good, a focus, etc...  And those that only did it to stay in shape cause they were single or it was easy, etc...  I have friends that are parents who have completely let themselves go and don't even attempt to hit the gym despite their kids being school aged and I have friends who, like me, might not be the peak they were before kids, but still make it to the gym, to classes, etc..  And some of those that are the former have nannies and otherwise good support resources. 

My wife has friends she made down here, the wife works part time from home and also watches their 2 year old and the husband is an NP who works pretty wild hours.  Their son Kai goes to a 2s program 2-3 days a week in the morning but thats it.  They get it done and the husband actually is in the best shape of his life, he was out of shape pre-kid and wanted to be better for his kid.

Meanwhile a good friend of ours in NJ is extremely affluent, 2 nannies for 3 kids plus a weekend nanny.  Wife doesn't work, bought a house with a home gym...that is gathering dust.  To each their own I supposed.  /rant over

But like many said, enjoy every day, remember that you'll never recall the bad days in a few years...and kids swearing is absolutely hilarious provided you don't over react and make it a bad habit 

[The Sultan]

Wags post reminded me that as a parent, you will get remarkably better at managing your time.

[Lennys Tap]

We had 4 kids in 6 years and my wife took a 20 year hiatus from her outside the home career to become our family CEO. I know that is not often an option or a choice today but it worked well for us. I went to seed a bit but had more time for sports/fitness than many.

[Galway Eagle]

Make more money and all of your problems will disappear.

Step 1 done, now onto step 2 which seems to be repeating step 1

[ATL MU Warrior]

Step 1 done, now onto step 2 which seems to be repeating step 1

The circle of life

[MU82]

Get them jobs at a young age and always tell them things were both harder and better when you were young

Yep. And if they misbehave, threaten to beat them within an inch of their lives.

[21Jumpstreet]

Before our first son was born, my wife and I said he won't be the center of our family, he will be part of it. We are the center of our family, our relationship is first.

Young years are great and, of course, important. It only gets better. It worked to have me around for their high school years (my wife worked, I didn't). Best dumb luck decision we made in 25 years together. High school years are difficult.

Send young people to a Montessori school.

Take kids everywhere, show them everything, discuss things openly, treat them as capable young people, explain the why...always answer when the ask why. Offer choices instead of ultimatums, let them direct their curiosities. One kid probably just won't get how to kick a soccer ball, one kid will probably understand AI and quantum tech. One kid will probably change the world for the better, give them a chance.

[Shaka Shart]

Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Dentists

[JWags85]

Take kids everywhere, show them everything, discuss things openly, treat them as capable young people, explain the why...always answer when the ask why. Offer choices instead of ultimatums, let them direct their curiosities. One kid probably just won't get how to kick a soccer ball, one kid will probably understand AI and quantum tech. One kid will probably change the world for the better, give them a chance.

Love this and totally agree.  Its amazing the difference you can see in kids who were treated like the stereotype of what kids should be/do/eat/etc... and the ones who were sort of allowed to be little adults as much as they wanted.  My son loves fried rice and sauteed broccoli and coocoombers, cause as he got to the solid food age, we let him have bites of whatever we were eating provided it was safe.  Of course he also is obsessed with pizza and m&ms and still demands mini ice cream drumsticks for dinner, but its quite easy to not have a kid who only wants buttered noodles, IMO.

Also, travel is a funny one too.  Obviously money and PTO is a factor, but the number of people who make comments like "oh we haven't done XYZ since we had kids" yet they still take plenty of vacations.  SHOCKINGLY, kids can find a ton of fun in things that aren't just "kiddie" things.  I'm a big fan of taking kids on planes and to far flung places as soon as you can if you have the ability, but YMMV.

[MU82]

We took our kids to lots of cool places and always encouraged them to try new things. My son (now 37) still remembers when we let him order escargot when he was 6. He told all his friends and teachers about how he ate snails and loved them!

[mu_hilltopper]

I've always thought that if a time machine is ever invented, the most popular trip to take would be to go back in time to when your kids were toddlers and you can pick them up and show them the world again.

[JWags85]

We took our kids to lots of cool places and always encouraged them to try new things. My son (now 37) still remembers when we let him order escargot when he was 6. He told all his friends and teachers about how he ate snails and loved them!

I've always thought that if a time machine is ever invented, the most popular trip to take would be to go back in time to when your kids were toddlers and you can pick them up and show them the world again.

To further it, I have multiple family friends/work acquaintances who mention how they wished they knew how much easier it was to travel with/expose your kids to new places and things before they got to school age.  Contrary to popular belief, traveling with kids under 5 isn't as hard as people think and you can get them used to/into a plane routine pretty well.  So they become an extension of you and your travel plans.  But once they get older, you have school breaks, activities, and other things that greatly inhibit your ability and timing to travel.

My wife's company CEO joked that when his oldest was young, he had key business contacts in London and Frankfurt he saw regularly.  His oldest had been to Europe 8 times before he was 5 cause on semi-short notice, if he was going and his wife wanted to come, they would use miles or points and all go.  His second child was 4 years younger.  To that point, the second was 9 and he'd never been to Europe (and money is certainly not an issue for them).

[MU82]

To further it, I have multiple family friends/work acquaintances who mention how they wished they knew how much easier it was to travel with/expose your kids to new places and things before they got to school age.  Contrary to popular belief, traveling with kids under 5 isn't as hard as people think and you can get them used to/into a plane routine pretty well.  So they become an extension of you and your travel plans.  But once they get older, you have school breaks, activities, and other things that greatly inhibit your ability and timing to travel.

My wife's company CEO joked that when his oldest was young, he had key business contacts in London and Frankfurt he saw regularly.  His oldest had been to Europe 8 times before he was 5 cause on semi-short notice, if he was going and his wife wanted to come, they would use miles or points and all go.  His second child was 4 years younger.  To that point, the second was 9 and he'd never been to Europe (and money is certainly not an issue for them).

We mostly traveled with our kids when they were 5+. London, Paris, Hawaii a couple times, Mexico, Arizona, Montreal, Maine, Boston, D.C., New York, Florida, Yellowstone, etc. Somehow, we made it work, and we had great family time. Only one trip did we have to pull them out of school; otherwise went during summers or various vacations. But I don't disagree with you at all, Wags.

[pbiflyer]

Yeah for a long time, our kids had been to more countries than states. But almost even now. 16 countries and 17 states I think.
The one cool thing was in history, classes or other ones when teachers would talk about events or places and the kids would say yep, I've been there.

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

Best advice I can give for staying in shape as a parent to young children is to sleep train them early.

I have a near 5 year old and a 1.5 year old. From the time that my wife got pregnant with our oldest until our youngest was about 1 years old, I gained about 40 pounds. There were a lot of reasons for this but looking back, I think the common thread to all of them was that I was exhausted all the time. We never sleep trained our oldest properly. Once she was down, she would sleep through the night, but bedtime was always an hour to two hour battle of wills. This would lead to her going to bed around 9, sometimes as late as 10. My wife and I would then compensate by staying up later so we could have some adult time which would eat into our sleep.

Attempts were made to sleep train my oldest, but, not to point fingers, but my wife would always cave. She couldn't stand the screaming. With my youngest, my wife resisted sleep training again. But around his first birthday, she had a week-long trip for work. It was agreed that I would sleeptrain our youngest while she was away so she didn't have to white knuckle through the screaming. It was two awful nights, one bumpy night, and then he was sleeping like a champ. We used the opportunity to reign in the oldest's bedtime and all of a sudden both kids are bed in by 8 and sleeping through the night. That gives us two to three hours of adult time every night and still a full night's sleep.

Since that shift, I've lost about 20 pounds of the about 40 I gained and am still trending down. Every kid and parent is different so YMMV. But from what I've read you can start sleep training as early as four to six months. I wish we had done it earlier than we did.

[21Jumpstreet]

Best advice I can give for staying in shape as a parent to young children is to sleep train them early.

My wife and I have distributed so many copies of "On Becoming Babywise" to expecting couples over the years. Both our boys were sleeping through the night by around 8-10 weeks and even all through high school during the week our oldest went to bed at 10:45 sharp. Sleeping young people make a huge difference for all involved, and it makes traveling a dream.

[drewm88]

Get your kid on a schedule, but be flexible with it.

We went out for dinner all the time with our first when he was a baby. If it wasn't the kind of place that would be cool with baby noise, we'd time it to his evening nap.

Take advantage of kids flying for free under 2. Lots to stress about car seats, checking strollers, etc. Just do it and learn what works for you. There are tons of resources on activities for babies on planes. Also use screen time as a tool to make life easier for you. Take advantage of renting baby gear in just about any vacation destination.

If you and your wife are both exercisers, make it an emphasis to support each other in that. Block off time that is yours for working out and the other is in charge of the kid no matter what. Really goes for anything that you value.