Wedding Advice

[JWags85]

Eh, I love our photos and our photographer got a ton of awesome action shots.  Large wedding and dance floor... We had someone video the ceremony and I think we've watched it once.

You've only been married a year, so let me know what you get around to watching yours again. 

I literally said we had a small wedding and the pictures were great.  So definitely won't watch video I don't have 

But of my friends who had them, one couple watched it on their 1st, 2nd, and 5th anniversaries.  Another has kids who love watching it but couldn't care less about Mom and Dad's pictures.  Ive seen my SIL's at least twice.  Its also very meaningful to them cause my wife's grandma fell pretty ill 6 months after the wedding and passed a bit after and its the last great video they have of her active and happy.  YMMV

Elope.

Seriously, weddings are a waste of money.  "Oh, it's for a wedding?  That gets our 40% surcharge."  Agree with Lens on the bar and the band/DJ.

Funny thing about that.  We went to one of my best friend's wedding about a month before ours.  Big grand ceremony in Denver, amazing all around.  My buddy told me he was really jealous that we were having a small little ceremony.  2 of the bridesmaids got married in the 18-24 months prior and were like "loved my wedding/pictures, but definitely kind of wish we did what you guys are doing.

Meanwhile, all the unmarried/unengaged women were like "awwww aren't you sad you wont have a huge wedding" to my wife.

[Spotcheck Billy]

I'm in the keep it small/simple concept. We flew to NOLA and got married 2 days (Thursday) after Mardi Gras with just 2 friends and the pastor present, granted that does severely limit the wedding presents received.

[tower912]

I'm with Ziggy.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I'm with Ziggy.

People in Missouri are big time swingers?

[tower912]

No idea.   I do like the elope concept.

[The Lens]

Another piece of advise is check the load in / load out terms.  My 3 sisters were at the Wisconsin Club (requires 1 year social membership) and they could drop things off Friday, pick things up Sunday.  My brother was at Discovery World and he was carrying things out at Midnight. 

Many event venues will limit your time.  Clubs are usually much more flexible.  Find someone to sponsor you if you're interested in that.  As an event guy, believe me...flexible load in / load out is key.

[pbiflyer]

First rule, don't invite dentists. You don't want that kind at your wedding!

Seriously, do what you two want, not what tradition, or family, or social pressure dictates.
Our wedding was a destination wedding...at Gesu when we lived in Florida. Reception was a booze cruise, so no first dance, band or corny DJ, followed by a raucous night at Buck Bradleys. (When you start drinking unidentifiable blue drinks, it may be time to stop) Nothing like closing Bucks in a wedding dress and tux. 

But we had a blast. No drama.

[DegenerateDish]

As someone with flat feet…a comfortable pair of shoes is vital. Between the pictures (you’re in basically all of them), the ceremony, reception, you don’t really realize how taxing it is until the day after.

[warriorchick]

As someone with flat feet…a comfortable pair of shoes is vital. Between the pictures (you’re in basically all of them), the ceremony, reception, you don’t really realize how taxing it is until the day after.

That goes triple for the bride.

[warriorchick]

First rule, don't invite dentists. You don't want that kind at your wedding!

Seriously, do what you two want, not what tradition, or family, or social pressure dictates.
Our wedding was a destination wedding...at Gesu when we lived in Florida. Reception was a booze cruise, so no first dance, band or corny DJ, followed by a raucous night at Buck Bradleys. (When you start drinking unidentifiable blue drinks, it may be time to stop) Nothing like closing Bucks in a wedding dress and tux. 

But we had a blast. No drama.

Weren't you like...50 when you got married?   

[Jay Bee]

Congrats on getting married. Now the federal gift will unfairly given you benefits just for doing this private, personal act.

[wadesworld]

There's some really good stuff in here.  Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it.  And keep it coming if you have it!

We've talked about doing a really small thing with immediate family and then having something bigger at a later time.  Could still do that.  I have quite a large family, so anything that involves more than immediate family isn't going to be quite so small.  I'd be totally fine not having any speeches, I think she wants to have at least one person from each side give a speech.

Congrats on getting married. Now the federal gift will unfairly given you benefits just for doing this private, personal act.

It's the only reason she said yes.

[pbiflyer]

Weren't you like...50 when you got married?   

That was just the normal Saturday night when I was 50. 

[21Jumpstreet]

We had a huge wedding, but my father in law paid for it as he wanted it to be the event to get his entire, large family together. We did the whole large ballroom in a hotel thing with a DJ, and our siblings played some music live.  We are very fortunate, and with that being said, we spent money on our honeymoon. Spent 3-4 weeks together (Aruba, Vegas, Chicago), it was great. Spend money on the honeymoon.

My brother in law had a small ceremony and reception in Nashville, beautiful, small venue, 50 people. Then, he had a big reception back in West Bend, WI, at his wife’s family’s farm that was built out to be a place for receptions. They brought in a caterer and a live band, was great.

My step sister got married at the Riviera in Lake Geneva, beautiful setting, beautiful town (I was born and went to high school there), it’s where I proposed to my wife. My sister got married at Lake Lawn Lodge near LG, was awesome to have the hotel there so I could, well, imbibe. My brother got married at the Horticultural Hall in LG (100 people or so), ceremony outside in the garden, reception in the main building, walking distance to the lake, I stayed in a condo downtown so I could, well, imbibe. His wedding was really wonderful.

[Lennys Tap]

I'd be totally fine not having any speeches, I think she wants to have at least one person from each side give a speech.

One speech/toast from each side (no more). Have them delivered early before the booze is flowing - the last thing you want are drunken ramblings from a groomsman about the good old days! Give the job to people who are funny and comfortable with public speaking.

[The Hippie Satan of Hyperbole]

One speech/toast from each side (no more). Have them delivered early before the booze is flowing - the last thing you want are drunken ramblings from a groomsman about the good old days! Give the job to people who are funny and comfortable with public speaking.

One of the reasons I think its best to have the reception right after the ceremony. 

Also have a signature cocktail or something so the bar doesn't get crowded right when it opens.

[JWags85]

One speech/toast from each side (no more). Have them delivered early before the booze is flowing - the last thing you want are drunken ramblings from a groomsman about the good old days! Give the job to people who are funny and comfortable with public speaking.

One of my good friends married the youngest daughter of a family, she was the youngest by about 10 years so she was def the baby.  Her father got up for the father of the bride speech, after a few glasses of wine, and blubbered about “his special girl” and “praying every night she’s taken care of how she deserves”.  It was one of the most awkward FIFTEEN minutes of my life

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

Thought of another one. Tell your venue beforehand whether or not it is okay for them to give your extra wedding cake away.

The one thing we really splurged on was the cake. My wife is a baker and wanted a really nice cake. They served cake right before the parent dances. I stayed on the dance floor for awhile before coming back to my seat for cake. They cleared my plate before I took a bite. I didn't mind at the time because I figured I'd get a slice at the end. Fast forward to the end of the night and I ask the venue contact where the extra cake was.  She had given it away to the venue staff.  Not to be a dick about it but we payed a lot of money for the cake,  they should have at least asked. My wife got me a small cake from the same shop for my next birthday so I could finally try my wedding cake.

[cheebs09]

Another bit of cake advice. We did a multiple layered cake, but only the top layer was cake. The rest was styrofoam covered in frosting. They had sheet cakes in the back and we cut the the top layer.

No one had any idea until we told them and it saved a bunch.

[CreightonWarrior]

People will remember the food, they won’t remember the color napkins you chose. Don’t sweat the small details, make a decision and move on.

[mu_hilltopper]

Mrs. TAMU and I agree that if we got married again, we wouldn't do a videographer. We watched the video once and it was very meh. The pictures were a lot more meaningful. We also had friends who filmed the most important parts that we actually wanted. Would have saved us a lot of money.

I find video >>>> photos, so we disagree there.  But I agree that it's not important to have a professional videographer.

On a few occasions .. I took it upon myself to video a rehearsal/wedding.  Nothing fancy, I just took out my phone and filmed, all the speeches, the toasts, pieces of the ceremony, some dances, etc.  Then I took the footage, spliced it all together and sent it to the couple as a 'gift' a few days after the wedding.

I'm no pro, but each time the couples were blown away.  Some indeed remarked that was all they needed, no multi-thousand dollar video guy making a full blown production that takes a month to edit.

TLDR .. find someone in your guest list who is handy with a camera.  Maybe it's a teenager, hire them for $100 and give them some guidance.  They're probably bored at your wedding anyhow.

[dgies9156]

My wife and I hosted the wedding and reception of our daughter last September. Her wedding was in Libertyville, IL at our long-time parish but her reception was at The Club at Strawberry Creek west of Kenosha, just past the Brat Stop. If was everything she wanted and she was incredibly happy.

Much depends on your budget and how many people are coming. Strawberry Creek wasn't inexpensive but they were a bargain compared to other comparable venues. The staff is incredible; the food was outstanding; and, every possible concern was anticipated. They were incredibly nice people to work with and, if you try, you probably could get a round or two of golf thrown in.

We had one heck of a Dad/Daughter first dance. When she was a young girl, we both sang one song whenever it came on the radio at the top of our lungs. We both had an awful voice, so it was perfect. That's what we did in lieu of a dance on her wedding. My wife cringed but she said, "well, it's you two!" Morale of the story: It's her day, do what she and ye want!

As an added bonus, we had lunch the day after at the Brat Stop. Biggest bill I ever racked up there, but we spent the afternoon as family and close friends and had one heck of a time!

We spent way too much money on a 1960s era moonbeam florist. Our photographer was good and the church was easy to work with!

 

[mubb3434]

Here are my biggest tips:

80/20 rule is very accurate for guest attendees

Have some type of food available for guests at 10pm (Taco/Nacho bar, Pizza, etc.)

Live bands are worth the extra $

Look for a venue that has 2 bar areas, or at the least a very large bar area

I never liked venues where you have to clear tables for the dance floor...

[Dr. Blackheart]

We had one heck of a Dad/Daughter first dance. When she was a young girl, we both sang one song whenever it came on the radio at the top of our lungs. We both had an awful voice, so it was perfect. That's what we did in lieu of a dance on her wedding. My wife cringed but she said, "well, it's you two!" Morale of the story: It's her day, do what she and ye want!

Was it "You Can Call Me Al"?

[mu_hilltopper]

One bit about live bands .. we went to a wedding 10 years ago, the groom was a Chaldean (Iraqi Catholic).

They had this band that was literally, ear-splittingly loud.  The first song they played was a solid 25 minute techno-funk opera of some sort.  Most guests *had* to leave the room, it was that painfully loud, to seek refuge in the hallway.  How the bride and groom survived, I know not, maybe they had earplugs.