More young adults (18-34) live with parents.

[mu03eng]

I still live with my parents, mostly because there's no point of me getting my own place since I'm going to grad school in the fall. But even if I didn't, I probably couldn't afford to live on my own, and I work two jobs. I honestly, don't think I've gone out since like January. I dunno how all of your kids got a job where they could support themselves out of college but good on them.

What field are you in?

[MomofMUltiples]

I feel you, Goose.  We currently carry all the kids, my mother and my father-in-law.  At least my mom cooks me dinner every once in awhile.

[GGGG]

Goose. I'm still paying cellular for one of them. I told him that he needs to figure out his options in the next six months or so because that is getting yanked.

[MU82]

We currently have two sons living at home. One is 27 and college grad and second is 22 and graduated on Sunday. Son #1 at home lived in Chicago for several years after college trying to become a chef and moved home three years ago to change careers and get on solid footing. Son #2 is home strictly to build a nest neg and get himself on solid footing moving forward.

I/we put two rules in place (this included oldest son who lived at home for 2.5 after graduating) and they are:

#1 They have to prove to Mrs. Goose and I that they are saving at least 90% of what living on their own would cost every month. Oldest son saved son saved enough to buy condo in Third Ward with over 20% down payment in 2.5 years plus max out his 401k each year.
#2 They have to follow same rules as when in college home for summer. Basically they need to communicate if home for dinner in advance and if staying out over night we need a text sent to us.

I enjoy having the kids at home but do think expectations are needed on both sides. Mom and I continue supporting them (room and board) and they become responsible adults, save money and get great start in life.

Goose:

Your financial requirements and house rules are extremely fair and work toward the goal of them being self-supporting. You are to be commended, and I wish your sons (and you) good fortune and happiness.

Mike

[Goose]

MU82

Thanks!! Nice to get some support from sane observer. We paid their way 100% all through school and feel we are giving them a fighting chance. So far so good with our boys.

[brandx]

We currently have two sons living at home. One is 27 and college grad and second is 22 and graduated on Sunday. Son #1 at home lived in Chicago for several years after college trying to become a chef and moved home three years ago to change careers and get on solid footing. Son #2 is home strictly to build a nest neg and get himself on solid footing moving forward.

I/we put two rules in place (this included oldest son who lived at home for 2.5 after graduating) and they are:

#1 They have to prove to Mrs. Goose and I that they are saving at least 90% of what living on their own would cost every month. Oldest son saved son saved enough to buy condo in Third Ward with over 20% down payment in 2.5 years plus max out his 401k each year.
#2 They have to follow same rules as when in college home for summer. Basically they need to communicate if home for dinner in advance and if staying out over night we need a text sent to us.

I enjoy having the kids at home but do think expectations are needed on both sides. Mom and I continue supporting them (room and board) and they become responsible adults, save money and get great start in life.

Very well said.

It's all about respect. You are willing to give it and expect it back in return. That is the secret not only to having post-college kids at home - but to life in general.

Kids want different things in life. My son lived at home until his junior year in college when he got married. He makes more money than I ever dreamed of making, but is not nearly as happy as my wife and I. My daughter lived at home for a short while after college, and while making way, way less (she's a teacher), is very satisfied with her life.

Either would be welcome back home again if the need arose.

[jsglow]

I still live with my parents, mostly because there's no point of me getting my own place since I'm going to grad school in the fall. But even if I didn't, I probably couldn't afford to live on my own, and I work two jobs. I honestly, don't think I've gone out since like January. I dunno how all of your kids got a job where they could support themselves out of college but good on them.

Agree with goose, chitown.  MKE is an entirely different animal than Chicago.

[mu03eng]

Couldn't agree more eng.  'Bout time Owen start to earn his keep, doncha think?

Mrs. Eng has apparently submitted his picture to several baby clothes retailers as someone who could sell other babies on how cool their clothes are. I'm waiting for that model money to come rolling in any day. If we can at least get free clothes so I don't have to pay $15 for onesies that he wears 3 times before either out growning or sh!%ting up, he'd at least not be taking from us any more.

[Spotcheck Billy]

I have 16YO grandson whose parents pimped him to do modeling for Kohls as an infant up to about 4YO. His grandma still puts the framed ad of him dressed up as a baby girl in his face at times. 

[MU82]

For a variety of reasons, my wife and I are eagerly awaiting our kids moving out of the nest, (our kids are 10, 7, and 4 years old).

We felt the same.

We love our kids and of course were sad when they left the nest, but we also were happy and proud and even relieved.

One thing I'll tell you - that you probably already know - the time goes by remarkably quickly. At the end of my daughter's high school basketball career, I wrote a column to that effect and it was one of the best-received things I've ever written. People soak up that sappy stuff!

[HouWarrior]

We felt the same.

We love our kids and of course were sad when they left the nest, but we also were happy and proud and even relieved.

One thing I'll tell you - that you probably already know - the time goes by remarkably quickly. At the end of my daughter's high school basketball career, I wrote a column to that effect and it was one of the best-received things I've ever written. People soak up that sappy stuff!

Excellent point.

We all were so busy working and establishing ourselves...we didnt realize how precious the family time, vacations, school events and sports really were,,, at that time.  Try to never miss an event, game, coaching opportunity or time to just read to to your kids. Photos on your cellphone are less important than the mental/emotional memories of the moment. Also, only later do you learn how very early your kids had already grown up.... 1-5 is the formation and by the time of your ten year old ...well you have already done the key work. Junior high and High school is more about just gripping the armchair and being there when they fall down...dont wait until then to impart wisdom and life lessons...you may not be getting through, or even able to effect any real changes .
I have grand children that I spend LOTS of time with...the five year old has already formed her key life attributes..amazing.
Every child we have expands our heart and our love...cherish every moment...it still blows me away how FAST the time went.

[JWags85]

I have 16YO grandson whose parents pimped him to do modeling for Kohls as an infant up to about 4YO. His grandma still puts the framed ad of him dressed up as a baby girl in his face at times. 

Hey, I know a girl who did that and then the same person she knew through that used her in a pinch for a commercial that went national when she was in her early teens.  Never did a single thing again and still gets a couple grand worth of checks a year in residuals.

[brandx]

I have grand children that I spend LOTS of time with...the five year old has already formed her key life attributes..amazing.
Every child we have expands our heart and our love...cherish every moment...it still blows me away how FAST the time went.

I think we realize how valuable time is when we have grand kids. We see them every day before / after school during the week as parents are busy working. Great to see them growing into really wonderful young people.

While our kids were much more interested in "stuff" than my wife and I, the grand kids are much more like us.

[warriorchick]

Mrs. Eng has apparently submitted his picture to several baby clothes retailers as someone who could sell other babies on how cool their clothes are. I'm waiting for that model money to come rolling in any day. If we can at least get free clothes so I don't have to pay $15 for onesies that he wears 3 times before either out growning or sh!%ting up, he'd at least not be taking from us any more.

Fifteen dollars for a onesie?  You can get a sixpack of them for less than that at Walmart.  Tell Mrs. Eng to lower her standards.  The kid doesn't care and you can put the savings in Eng jr's. Marquette fund.

[MerrittsMustache]

Don't people get roommates anymore? If not, I wonder if that is related to 1) the lack of interpersonal skills as a result of all the texting/social media and 2) the coddled, borderline sheltered upbringings of many Millenials.

When I got my first job in 2002 (making $42k, thank you very much), I lived in a 2-bedroom apt with my older brother with each of us paying $375/month. Less than 18 months later, he got married and moved out and another friend moved in for the remainder of the lease. After that, I spent a year living in the upstairs of a house on the East Side with 4 buddies. I then lived by myself for a year in a dumpy apt, then with an awful roommate/friend-of-friend for a year, lived with two female friends in a 3-bed apt for a while and then landed on my own shortly before meeting my wife. Most of my friends have fairly similar post-college stories. Living with my brother was fun, but I would have preferred living on my own to any of those other situations. However, having my housing expenses doubled or even tripled wasn't worth it in the long run. In the end though, I was able to save a good chunk of money while also being forced to grow up and be an adult.

[MU82]

Don't people get roommates anymore? If not, I wonder if that is related to 1) the lack of interpersonal skills as a result of all the texting/social media and 2) the coddled, borderline sheltered upbringings of many Millenials.

When I got my first job in 2002 (making $42k, thank you very much), I lived in a 2-bedroom apt with my older brother with each of us paying $375/month. Less than 18 months later, he got married and moved out and another friend moved in for the remainder of the lease. After that, I spent a year living in the upstairs of a house on the East Side with 4 buddies. I then lived by myself for a year in a dumpy apt, then with an awful roommate/friend-of-friend for a year, lived with two female friends in a 3-bed apt for a while and then landed on my own shortly before meeting my wife. Most of my friends have fairly similar post-college stories. Living with my brother was fun, but I would have preferred living on my own to any of those other situations. However, having my housing expenses doubled or even tripled wasn't worth it in the long run. In the end though, I was able to save a good chunk of money while also being forced to grow up and be an adult.

My son has two roommates. All of his non-married friends also have roommates. You can't afford to rent in Chicago unless you have roommates.

My daughter had a roommate until she moved in with her boyfriend, meaning, I guess, she still has a roommate.

Methinks you are working a little too hard to generalize here.

[ChicosBailBonds]

I think when they changed the rules a few years ago where kids could still be claimed as dependents for health coverage to 25 or 26, added to this phenomenon. 

I've had the conversation with my kids.  You are always welcome home, but at the end of the day this is about mom and I and living our lives, too.  You come back from college and need a place to stay for a little while....absolutely.  Not long after that...6 months, you start paying rent.  After a year, you need to find a roommate someway somehow on your own.  Exceptions may apply, but they know the deal.

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

Don't people get roommates anymore? If not, I wonder if that is related to 1) the lack of interpersonal skills as a result of all the texting/social media and 2) the coddled, borderline sheltered upbringings of many Millenials.

When I got my first job in 2002 (making $42k, thank you very much), I lived in a 2-bedroom apt with my older brother with each of us paying $375/month. Less than 18 months later, he got married and moved out and another friend moved in for the remainder of the lease. After that, I spent a year living in the upstairs of a house on the East Side with 4 buddies. I then lived by myself for a year in a dumpy apt, then with an awful roommate/friend-of-friend for a year, lived with two female friends in a 3-bed apt for a while and then landed on my own shortly before meeting my wife. Most of my friends have fairly similar post-college stories. Living with my brother was fun, but I would have preferred living on my own to any of those other situations. However, having my housing expenses doubled or even tripled wasn't worth it in the long run. In the end though, I was able to save a good chunk of money while also being forced to grow up and be an adult.

When I was at Marquette my first apartment was a studio, then I had two roommates in a duplex and then I lived with 7 others. It progressively got worse and more expensive believe it or not.

[ChicosBailBonds]

I feel blessed that DadofMUltiples and I are able to support our children when they need us, but that currently the three who are out of college are gainfully employed, responsible adults who choose to live on their own.  Like Goose, we have had adult children living with us at various times, and while we have never asked them to pay for room and board, we have set similar expectations about saving and contributing to household duties, cooking the occasional meal and other things.  Before we moved, we had a carriage house apartment that our older boys "rented" for the cost of utilities before they moved out on their own.  My daughter lived with us for a year after graduation and at Christmas she surprised me with a new LG stainless double oven range as a thank-you for not having to pay rent for the year.  Our home will always be open to our kids when they need it, but as we no longer have the 6 bedroom + apartment home, I'm hoping they don't all need us at once!

I'm more concerned about a different trend that I see, and that is parents who continue to support their children to live outside the home after college.  When I graduated from college, we rented ratty apartments and used cinder blocks and boards to create storage shelves, bought used cars and learned to live on a budget.  Many of my daughter's friends' parents are renting luxury apartments for their children, while the kids spend their money on travel and vip service at clubs and eat most of their meals out.  She's had to be very clear with them that she cannot keep up with their lifestyle because she pays for her own rent and her car and is trying to save money to buy a house.  Fortunately, she's now dating a really great guy who has similar goals, so she isn't feeling so left behind anymore.  I cannot imagine how these parents believe they are doing their kids any favors by allowing them to live beyond their means.   In my opinion, if that's the lifestyle they aspire to, they need to go out and earn it.

I agree with this.  It's on steroids out here.  The stuff parents are shelling out for their kids is insanity to me.  My son is 17, will be a senior after tomorrow and parents buying these kids Lexus, BMWs, etc.   I told him....you will walk to school.  Then I have other parents saying I'm a cheapskate.  Oh well.  You can't just give them everything.  It boggles my mind.  I remember at MU buying a $15 couch....God knows what that thing looked like under a blue light.  LOL

[source?]

Don't people get roommates anymore? If not, I wonder if that is related to 1) the lack of interpersonal skills as a result of all the texting/social media and 2) the coddled, borderline sheltered upbringings of many Millenials.

When I got my first job in 2002 (making $42k, thank you very much), I lived in a 2-bedroom apt with my older brother with each of us paying $375/month. Less than 18 months later, he got married and moved out and another friend moved in for the remainder of the lease. After that, I spent a year living in the upstairs of a house on the East Side with 4 buddies. I then lived by myself for a year in a dumpy apt, then with an awful roommate/friend-of-friend for a year, lived with two female friends in a 3-bed apt for a while and then landed on my own shortly before meeting my wife. Most of my friends have fairly similar post-college stories. Living with my brother was fun, but I would have preferred living on my own to any of those other situations. However, having my housing expenses doubled or even tripled wasn't worth it in the long run. In the end though, I was able to save a good chunk of money while also being forced to grow up and be an adult.

My first place I had 3 roommates, it was a 3 bedroom apartment. My room was literally a walk-in closet that could fit my bed and a tiny dresser. Had some decent times there.

[source?]

I agree with this.  It's on steroids out here.  The stuff parents are shelling out for their kids is insanity to me.  My son is 17, will be a senior after tomorrow and parents buying these kids Lexus, BMWs, etc.   I told him....you will walk to school.  Then I have other parents saying I'm a cheapskate.  Oh well.  You can't just give them everything.  It boggles my mind.  I remember at MU buying a $15 couch....God knows what that thing looked like under a blue light.  LOL

I moved out of my parents house at 18, the day after I graduated high school. I bought all my furniture at an auction, my couch was $5. Funny thing, that's the only piece of furniture that stayed with me from the day I enrolled at college until I picked up my Juris Doctor at the Bradley Center on Sunday. I should probably get a new one but it will be hard to let go of all those memories.

[ChicosBailBonds]

I moved out of my parents house at 18, the day after I graduated high school. I bought all my furniture at an auction, my couch was $5. Funny thing, that's the only piece of furniture that stayed with me from the day I enrolled at college until I picked up my Juris Doctor at the Bradley Center on Sunday. I should probably get a new one but it will be hard to let go of all those memories.

Congratulations!!  That's awesome

Same boat for me in terms of moving out...moved 2000 miles NE to go to MU, though Summer I came home for 2 years.  Lived in absolute dumps. 

[StillAWarrior]

I agree with this.  It's on steroids out here.  The stuff parents are shelling out for their kids is insanity to me.  My son is 17, will be a senior after tomorrow and parents buying these kids Lexus, BMWs, etc.   I told him....you will walk to school.  Then I have other parents saying I'm a cheapskate.  Oh well.  You can't just give them everything.  It boggles my mind.  I remember at MU buying a $15 couch....God knows what that thing looked like under a blue light.  LOL

Oh...we get accused of this all the time.  And we're far from cheap.  But our kids learned long ago that at their high school, we were not able to and had no interest in keeping up with the Joneses.  One of the bigger challenges we faced when my son was in HS was when he started running with a group that had seemingly unlimited spending money.  He eventually figured it out and learned some really important lessons -- to the point that he never once asked for money his freshman year of college.  After he spent a total of about $120 first semester (aside from Christmas gifts for his sisters which we paid for), I actually had to tell him that it was OK to spend a little bit.  He spent a bit more second semester, but still never asked for money.

[Blackhat]

My dad told me right away "don't expect to get any money from me and your mom."

Probably one of the greatest gifts he gave me.  Left no doubt in my mind that I needed to make my own way and motivated me.   

(He did generously offer to pay for my first two years though, when tuition was still under control.)

[warriorchick]

I agree with this.  It's on steroids out here.  The stuff parents are shelling out for their kids is insanity to me.  My son is 17, will be a senior after tomorrow and parents buying these kids Lexus, BMWs, etc.   I told him....you will walk to school.  Then I have other parents saying I'm a cheapskate.  Oh well.  You can't just give them everything.  It boggles my mind.  I remember at MU buying a $15 couch....God knows what that thing looked like under a blue light.  LOL

Our kids paid for their own smartphone plans in college because we refused to put them on ours. We paid for phone and texting, which was all we needed them to have. They used to tell us they were ridiculed because they only kids they knew who didn't have iPhones. We launched into a diatribe about all the things they already had that we never did in college  (televisions, computers, roach-free apartments, etc). They knew it was a lost cause.