OT: would love your help

[keefe]

Having a Gesu wedding next year as well. Looking forward to jumping through the hoops  

In our case I was living in Enid, OK and she was in NYC so her mother flew lead on the mission planning. My mother-in-law is great people but she felt compelled to call me while I would be cramming thermodynamics to discuss various shades of blue flowers. At the end of the day she didn't care what I thought as she was really trying to impress her social circle in Thiensville.

I remember how my fiancé and her mother would argue about details and then reach out to me to adjudicate. My advice to you, Blueteaux, is to turn off your cell during the planning stage.  

[mu_hilltopper]

To chime in on the birthing classes .. another monumental waste of time.

You know who works in those hospital delivery rooms?  Experts.  They know how to birth babies, they do it for a living.   They'll help you along the way, explaining stuff.  

If you don't know what to do next?  No problem.  Really.  They do it a dozen times a day.

While a cursory knowledge of what's going to happen is a good thing, killing a day at a birthing class is a ginormous, galactically stupid timesuck.

[Lennys Tap]

For guys, the whole wedding gig is way over the top. I'll be honest - I didn't care what music was played at Gesu. I had zero preference between the North Shore Country Club and Boder's on the River. Flowers, bridesmaid dresses, string quartets, appetizers, etc... were all chaff. Most guys just want to get through the day with as little drama as possible.

Amen, brother. I was working in Houston and got married in Chicago. Three months before the blessed event I sent my bride to be my list of friends to invite, a month or two later I sent in my measurements and told my best man and groomsmen to do likewise. Arrived in Chicago 3 days before the blessed event, attended the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner and wedding (basically a 3 day bender) then took off on a honeymoon. If I had been forced to be part of the planning I might not have made it to the altar.

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

a month or two later I sent in my measurements and told my best man and groomsmen to do likewise.

Sounds like you were pretty close with your wedding party eh? 

[Lennys Tap]

Sounds like you were pretty close with your wedding party eh? 

Two were brothers, two were brothers-in-law, four close friends (2 from high school, 2 from college). Very close (I was in all 8 of their weddings, 4 times as a best man), but we didn't do a lot of chatting about wedding prep. Amazing how things still managed to get done in the pre cell phone days.

[keefe]

Amen, brother. I was working in Houston and got married in Chicago. Three months before the blessed event I sent my bride to be my list of friends to invite, a month or two later I sent in my measurements and told my best man and groomsmen to do likewise. Arrived in Chicago 3 days before the blessed event, attended the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner and wedding (basically a 3 day bender) then took off on a honeymoon. If I had been forced to be part of the planning I might not have made it to the altar.

Funny postscript. 7 years later my wife and I were living in Boston and went out to Fenway. We're sitting in some box seats when in the 3rd inning a hugely endowed woman with flaming red hair is taking her seat in front of us. She sees me, I see her and she cries out at 200 decibals, "Hey! I remember you!"  She was "Big Red" from Rickey's. My groomsmen had hired her as part of the pre-wedding activities.

For years afterward, my wife would invoke the image of Big Red to shame, embarrass, humiliate, chastise, mock, or scold. There are some battles where it is better for a man to simply concede defeat. The Battle of Big Red is one of them.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Funny postscript. 7 years later my wife and I were living in Boston and went out to Fenway. We're sitting in some box seats when in the 3rd inning a hugely endowed woman with flaming red hair is taking her seat in front of us. She sees me, I see her and she cries out at 200 decibals, "Hey! I remember you!"  She was "Big Red" from Rickey's. My groomsmen had hired her as part of the pre-wedding activities.

For years afterward, my wife would invoke the image of Big Red to shame, embarrass, humiliate, chastise, mock, or scold. There are some battles where it is better for a man to simply concede defeat. The Battle of Big Red is one of them.

I don't know Big Red but that could be your best story ever.

[Spotcheck Billy]

thank God we went off to NOLA to get married the Friday after Mardi Gras (1991) with just 2 friends that lived there (was in a church however so Mom was happy)

[ZiggysFryBoy]

My Gesu story....was dating a lunatic MU girl my senior year.  Unbeknownst to me, she went to Gesu, met with the pastor and booked a wedding date for us.  Several months go by, one day the phone rings at ZFB's folks' house.  ZiggysFryDad answers, and it's the pastor from Gesu.  "We have ZFB and the lunatic's wedding date set but we haven't gotten the deposit yet.  Are you going to mail that up?"

ZiggysFryMom then calls ZFB.  "Why did Gesu call us about a wedding date?  What haven't you told us?  Is the lunatic pregnant?"  Luckily she wasn't, and she moved away shortly thereafter.  I've got 4 more years of worrying about the sheriff showing up at my crib with paternity papers, but I think I'm in the clear.

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

Funny postscript. 7 years later my wife and I were living in Boston and went out to Fenway. We're sitting in some box seats when in the 3rd inning a hugely endowed woman with flaming red hair is taking her seat in front of us. She sees me, I see her and she cries out at 200 decibals, "Hey! I remember you!"  She was "Big Red" from Rickey's. My groomsmen had hired her as part of the pre-wedding activities.

For years afterward, my wife would invoke the image of Big Red to shame, embarrass, humiliate, chastise, mock, or scold. There are some battles where it is better for a man to simply concede defeat. The Battle of Big Red is one of them.

Rickeys on state? We always joke that were gonna make a trip there one day.

[swoopem]

Rickeys on state? We always joke that were gonna make a trip there one day.

My buddy delivered for Angelo's and Ricky's was one of the hot spots on his route, but they never actually let him in the door. They would meet him outside, pay him, grab the food, and tell him he didn't want to come inside. Sketchy place that Ricky's is.

[🏀]

My Gesu story....was dating a lunatic MU girl my senior year.  Unbeknownst to me, she went to Gesu, met with the pastor and booked a wedding date for us.  Several months go by, one day the phone rings at ZFB's folks' house.  ZiggysFryDad answers, and it's the pastor from Gesu.  "We have ZFB and the lunatic's wedding date set but we haven't gotten the deposit yet.  Are you going to mail that up?"

ZiggysFryMom then calls ZFB.  "Why did Gesu call us about a wedding date?  What haven't you told us?  Is the lunatic pregnant?"  Luckily she wasn't, and she moved away shortly thereafter.  I've got 4 more years of worrying about the sheriff showing up at my crib with paternity papers, but I think I'm in the clear.

And four more years of ZiggyFryDad and ZiggyFryMom wondering when ZiggyFryBoy is finally going to move out.

[GooooMarquette]

In our case I was living in Enid, OK and she was in NYC so her mother flew lead on the mission planning. My mother-in-law is great people but she felt compelled to call me while I would be cramming thermodynamics to discuss various shades of blue flowers. At the end of the day she didn't care what I thought as she was really trying to impress her social circle in Thiensville.

I remember how my fiancé and her mother would argue about details and then reach out to me to adjudicate. My advice to you, Blueteaux, is to turn off your cell during the planning stage.  

Great advice.  And just in case they do reach you to adjudicate questions about flowers and the like, go with "they both seem like terrific options to me.  Why don't we just do both?"

[warriorchick]

I lucked out.  My mom lived 500 miles away from Gesu (and 1000 miles from me) and I got to make all the decisions myself.  Her only contribution was to look at my dress the day of the wedding and say, "Is that really appropriate to wear in church?".

[Avenue Commons]

"Survive and advance"

Wiser words were never spoken.

Pre-Cana is as good or as bad as you make it.

[mr.MUskie]

To chime in on the birthing classes .. another monumental waste of time.

You know who works in those hospital delivery rooms?  Experts.  They know how to birth babies, they do it for a living.   They'll help you along the way, explaining stuff.  

If you don't know what to do next?  No problem.  Really.  They do it a dozen times a day.

While a cursory knowledge of what's going to happen is a good thing, killing a day at a birthing class is a ginormous, galactically stupid timesuck.

Not necessarily.  My son was taking his time being birthed, so the Dr went down the hall to get a cup of coffee to keep him awake (it was the middle of the night). When things started moving along they couldn't find him.  When he finally showed up I was sitting between my wife's legs holding my son.  Told the Dr not to send me a bill for the delivery since I did all the work. Think he was embarrassed because he never did.

As for the wedding preparations, my wife told me that if I said "I don't care" one more time she would call off the wedding. Called her bluff by replying "I don't care".

[sailwi]

Unfortunately I remember Big Red, she crushed a beer can for me that I only recently threw out doing spring cleaning a few years ago.

What was the name of the short lived strip bar across the street form Rickey's?  Went there the night of my divorce and got an autographed picture of MS. Nude Minnesota, not as memorable as the crushed beer can.

[4everwarriors]

My Gesu story....was dating a lunatic MU girl my senior year.  Unbeknownst to me, she went to Gesu, met with the pastor and booked a wedding date for us.  Several months go by, one day the phone rings at ZFB's folks' house.  ZiggysFryDad answers, and it's the pastor from Gesu.  "We have ZFB and the lunatic's wedding date set but we haven't gotten the deposit yet.  Are you going to mail that up?"

ZiggysFryMom then calls ZFB.  "Why did Gesu call us about a wedding date?  What haven't you told us?  Is the lunatic pregnant?"  Luckily she wasn't, and she moved away shortly thereafter.  I've got 4 more years of worrying about the sheriff showing up at my crib with paternity papers, but I think I'm in the clear.

Yo Bro, that may be, but have you been checked out for clap?

[ChicosBailBonds]

Ok question im very confused. I wasnt even aware marriage classes existed. What are they used for and why are they even around? Isnt it just plan the wedding go to the venue and do your thing and then your married?

Depends...the whole Catholic thingy usually means you are going to class.  I had to do an entire weekend since I lived in Milwaukee and my bride was in California as we did the long distance dating gig.  Three days, 2 nights at the Catholic retreat complex in the San Fernando Valley.  At least two couples bailed by the second night (one dude said he wasn't getting married to his fiancee and the other couple I think went straight to Vegas).  It was mostly putting you through reflection time, have you talked about the right things, do you know what the hell you are getting yourself into, have you asked the major questions about kids, parenting, check book, blah blah blah.

[ChicosBailBonds]

To chime in on the birthing classes .. another monumental waste of time.

You know who works in those hospital delivery rooms?  Experts.  They know how to birth babies, they do it for a living.   They'll help you along the way, explaining stuff.  

If you don't know what to do next?  No problem.  Really.  They do it a dozen times a day.

While a cursory knowledge of what's going to happen is a good thing, killing a day at a birthing class is a ginormous, galactically stupid timesuck.

Yeah, but that class taught how to throw ice chips into your wife's mouth which is a skill I still utilize today.  That was my big takeaway, plus my lovely wife held off with full labor until after Monday Night Football (Cowboys beat the Eagles) over at St. Mary's on the east side....a trooper. 

[ChicosBailBonds]

Amen, brother. I was working in Houston and got married in Chicago. Three months before the blessed event I sent my bride to be my list of friends to invite, a month or two later I sent in my measurements and told my best man and groomsmen to do likewise. Arrived in Chicago 3 days before the blessed event, attended the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner and wedding (basically a 3 day bender) then took off on a honeymoon. If I had been forced to be part of the planning I might not have made it to the altar.

A double amen and a halleluiah.  Arrived in L.A. 3 days before the event, played a round of golf with the bros and shot an 80....since being married I have never been that low again....want to ruin your golf game (not that I had a very good one), get married.

Living in Milwaukee while she was in L.A. was actually a blessing as I had very little involvement other than saying yes dear to a china pattern and the like.

[Sir Lawrence]

To chime in on the birthing classes .. another monumental waste of time.

You know who works in those hospital delivery rooms?  Experts.  They know how to birth babies, they do it for a living.   They'll help you along the way, explaining stuff.  

If you don't know what to do next?  No problem.  Really.  They do it a dozen times a day.

While a cursory knowledge of what's going to happen is a good thing, killing a day at a birthing class is a ginormous, galactically stupid timesuck.

Cosign.

Four kids, did the birthing classes (I swear, I think we went to five or six classes in the evening, ladies all carrying their pillows, guys all moping) at St. Joe's Hopsital in Milwaukee before child number one.  One message:  if you moms have a C-Section, you are failures.

My spouse ended up having four C-sections.   The other myth is the "bonding moment" in the delivery room:  placing the new born on mom's abdomen to "bond."  Don't know if that is still done, but what a crock.  The lights in the delivery room were brighter than at the National Liquor Bar, and the nurses just want to get the kid foot printed and a hypo of Vitamin K injected.  Pretty certain the 45 seconds of bonding was a waste. 

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Yo Bro, that may be, but have you been checked out for clap?

junk's clean.  thanks for axin'

[WellsstreetWanderer]

[.

For guys, the whole wedding gig is way over the top. I'll be honest - I didn't care what music was played at Gesu. I had zero preference between the North Shore Country Club and Boder's on the River. Flowers, bridesmaid dresses, string quartets, appetizers, etc... were all chaff. Most guys just want to get through the day with as little drama as possible.

[/quote]

 "You just worry about your groomsmen and your shirtsize"   " A Little Bit of Everything ", Dawes    great song

   My wife and I bailed after our first Lamaze as it was just a captive audience for people ,who nobody listens to otherwise, boring everyone with their prior birth experiences.

    Had a friend in Milwaukee and they decided to have a "Natural Childbirth" No epidural...  Until the process began and she began shouting " give me a shot!"  and he is saying  " NO! We're having a Natural Childbirth"  I laugh every time I remember that discussion

[john31]

Now this is what I'm talking about. This for me is about the best thread I have seen in weeks. Truth be told this is what we needed in January along with some better guard play and a little more senior leadership. I'm sorry I digress... After talking pre cana my wife and I ran into problems scheduling our wedding in church so we did what most good Catholics do and did the quasi elopement to Tahoe and got married at Harvey's. I was snowboarding until an hour and a half before the wedding at which point I started to freak a little at my lack of involvement up until that point, showered and went to the chapel to find out what was going on only to be told that everything was ready to go...The reverend was a  George Hamilton doppelganger and his homily was great as was our reception in a suite with about 50 friend and family. Kids, I have four and each one was a some what horrifying experience because I always managed to block any and all memories from the previous births so each one was a wild ride.