Crean Achievements Thread

[Shack]

Crean was able to land  5* prize recruit Iman Shumpert ....

Oh wait...nevermind.


Crean invented AIDS by having butt sex with a monkey. 

[77ncaachamps]

Crean was responsible for Brett Favre's retirement...and possible comeback.

[Tom Crean's Tanning Bed]

Crean booked Elton John for Harleyfest in 2003, and explained it to the Harley execs like this:

"It's Elton John.  It's Elton John."

[MUfan12]

Crean invented the tackling dummy... stupid Diener had to ruin it.

[MU NY]

Crean invented the Internet and then quickly invented a search engine for the internet and decided to name it "Crean" but later, to the delight of millions, decided to rename it "Google" instead.

[The Man in Gold]

Tom was Fredrick J. Miller's best man at his wedding.  His wedding gift to Miller would later come to be known as High Life.

Christopher Columbus was just some hotshot assistant for Tom Crean when he found America.

Crean introduced beads to Mardi Gras.

When he was 7, Tom Crean single handedly fought to free the UP from the tyrannical rule of the Canadien Mounties.

[MUfan12]

Crean's hair inspired Moses to part the Red Sea.

[MU NY]

Crean, with an outstanding play and cat-like reflexes, reached out to catch a hard hit grounder, ending Joe Dimagio's hitting streak at 56 games.

[groove]

Crean was the third base coach who talked Rick Manning into ending Paul Molitor's 39 game hitting streak by knocking in the winning run and ending an extra innning game with Molitor waiting in the on deck circle.

[Litehouse]

Crean's players had a graduation rate of 110%.

[The Man in Gold]

Tom Crean bowled a 310.

[Gwaki]

Crean taught Bill Belichick how to cheat

[bs4173]

Crean beat Father Marquette to the Great Lakes in his canoe.

[tower912]

Because Tom Crean created the great lakes.

[Gwaki]

Crean convinced Tim Higgins to come out of retirement.

[bs4173]

Because Tom Crean created the great lakes.

zing! nice.

[mu03eng]

Because Tom Crean created the great lakes.

zing! nice.

Actually this is a common misconception....He did not create the Great Lakes.....but prior to his arrival in the midwest they were simply know as The Lakes

[MUinCO]

Because Tom Crean created the great lakes.

zing! nice.

Actually this is a common misconception....He did not create the Great Lakes.....but prior to his arrival in the midwest they were simply know as The Lakes

No I distinctly heard him say that when he was in East Lansing he pushed the glaciers that created the Great Lakes...but it wasn't until he got to Milwaukee that he started correcting folks, via his media blitz, who were just calling them "The Lakes."

[Gwaki]

Tom Crean's old boot is now the country of Italy

[rocky_warrior]

Because Tom Crean created the great lakes.

And the Canoe!

[tower912]

After he created the tree out of which he carved the canoe using tae kwon doe.   Which he invented as a means to carve canoes.

[77ncaachamps]

When God said, "Let there be light," Crean turned and the sun's rays reflected off his forehead thus blessing the Earth for eons to come.

[NCMUFan]

Tom Crean invented the ATV/4 wheeler specifically for Midnight Madness.

[ErickJD08]

Tom Crean invented HD TV so that more viewers can appreciate the work he has made on his tan.

[Tom Crean's Tanning Bed]

Tom Crean invented sunless tanning in case the power to his tanning bed is ever disconnected.