Adoption

[#UnleashSean]

Hello everyone,

Myself and my wife together cannot have children. Invitro will not work, insemination with a donor egg and womb would work, but we're not sure.

Has anyone else here gone the adoption route?

[Galway Eagle]

Can't help you but just want to wish you the best of luck.

[Lennys Tap]

Some here will advise you that kids are a poor investment. Step one is to ignore them.

My next step would be to consult an attorney who specializes in the field.

Best of luck to you!

[Scoop Snoop]

Some here will advise you that kids are a poor investment. Step one is to ignore them.

My next step would be to consult an attorney who specializes in the field.

Best of luck to you!

Great advice.

[tower912]

Good luck and God's blessings on your adventure.

[The Sultan]

nm

[Goose]

#unleash

Can provide no insight on the process but best of luck to you and your wife!!!

[tower912]

Hey, numbskulls, shame on both of you.   Support our fellow scooper.

[JWags85]

Hello everyone,

Myself and my wife together cannot have children. Invitro will not work, insemination with a donor egg and womb would work, but we're not sure.

Has anyone else here gone the adoption route?

I don't know much about the actual path, but a close friend adopted 2 boys and it was immensely rewarding.  The 2 early stage things I do know...

1) Decide if you want a closed or open adoption (the latter where you get to know and support the birth mother, and sometimes keep her involved).  Most people assume the former, but I understand the latter is getting more and more popular with some people.

2) Start working the "checklist" that many adoption agencies share.  There is a laundry list of things you need to have sorted/taken care of/learned before you even begin or advance in the process.  Often time people only learn or discover this when they engage an agency and then get disappointed that progress is stalled while they work on it.

I also agree with the legal counsel, that is a vitally important part.  Either way, good luck on any path you choose.

[MU Fan in Connecticut]

My brother adopted his first two kids from Russia.  The third kid arrived unexpectantly. 

My cousin Vinny adopted two kids.  He was a state rep here in Connecticut from late 80's to early 2000's and advocated for changes to adoption laws in Connecticut as a result.  He passed away 2 years ago.

One of my childhood neighbors adopted her two kids.  Also in the early 2000's.  The first child was an open adoption.  They knew the mother and helped support her while she was carrying.

I can't offer any advice but, my brother and sister-in-law are MU Class of '93 may be able to offer something.  The adoptions were early 2000s, so it may not be relevant to 2024.  They are in Minnesota. 

[Scoop Snoop]

Hey, numbskulls, shame on both of you.   Support our fellow scooper.

Amen! This is one thread in which we should all be supporting the OP. I'm happy to see that there are now some posts that offer info (from experience) in addition to encouragement. It's just a matter of time before dgies shows up.

[JWags85]

My cousin Vinny adopted two kids.  He was a state rep here in Connecticut from late 80's to early 2000's and advocated for changes to adoption laws in Connecticut as a result.  He passed away 2 years ago.

He was a fearless advocate for those Yutes.

[dgies9156]

My wife and I adopted two children from Belarus and Ukraine.

They're adults and married now (though not completely off the payroll). With an awful lot of work and support, both have college degrees and are gainfully employed. My daughter and her husband announced yesterday they were buying their first home in Upstate New York.  Both my children had learning difficulties and my wife was instrumental in their ability to learn and become strong, productive people.

It's a nerve-wracking and time consuming, not to mention expensive, process. It also was one of the most rewarding things my wife and I ever did. My daughter, who is married to a UWM-educated Engineer and is a graphic designer, was born on the edge of the Chernobyl exclusion zone and probably would have scraped for anything she could find had she not been adopted.

My son was born in a hospital that has since been blown up by Russian missiles. He certainly would have been killed by now had he not been adopted. He's married and works in Security.

It isn't easy and you're not always sure from where your children come. But, if you are inclined to do it, you are giving children a life they certainly would not have had if you and your wife did not step up.

I know this is a traumatic time in a lot of ways and I wish you both the best in your quest to decide your path as parents.

[MUfan12]

I haven't adopted, but some very close friends have. One worked out great, the second time the birth mother changed her mind and wanted to keep the kid, three days after it was born. I'd echo the advice about counsel, and just be prepared for the emotional ups and downs that can happen in this process.

Being a parent is the best, no matter how that kiddo arrives in your life. Best of luck!

[jesmu84]

My wife and I adopted two children from Belarus and Ukraine.

They're adults and married now (though not completely off the payroll). With an awful lot of work and support, both have college degrees and are gainfully employed. My daughter and her husband announced yesterday they were buying their first home in Upstate New York.  Both my children had learning difficulties and my wife was instrumental in their ability to learn and become strong, productive people.

It's a nerve-wracking and time consuming, not to mention expensive, process. It also was one of the most rewarding things my wife and I ever did. My daughter, who is married to a UWM-educated Engineer and is a graphic designer, was born on the edge of the Chernobyl exclusion zone and probably would have scraped for anything she could find had she not been adopted.

My son was born in a hospital that has since been blown up by Russian missiles. He certainly would have been killed by now had he not been adopted. He's married and works in Security.

It isn't easy and you're not always sure from where your children come. But, if you are inclined to do it, you are giving children a life they certainly would not have had if you and your wife did not step up.

I know this is a traumatic time in a lot of ways and I wish you both the best in your quest to decide your path as parents.

Love your story with your children

[Lennys Tap]

Hey, numbskulls, shame on both of you.   Support our fellow scooper.

Hey numbskull - I did support him and actually gave what he asked for - some hopefully helpful advice re adoption attorneys. I guess you missed it.
Sultan, otoh, offered nothing but misinformation and snark. What new?

[tower912]

 


Good luck, ulS

[Herman Cain]

Hello everyone,

Myself and my wife together cannot have children. Invitro will not work, insemination with a donor egg and womb would work, but we're not sure.

Has anyone else here gone the adoption route?

There are many positive adoption stories out there . I would agree with Lenny's Tap to find a good attorney specializing in this , as there also been many cases where  birth mother changed mind.

I would also advocate donor egg and womb if that is possible. It is really an adoption where you are in control. Also, In today's day world  of modern medical miracles you are assured of your child have a family medical history and related genetics, which is important if something  goes wrong in the future like cancer .

[reinko]

Hey numbskull - I did support him and actually gave what he asked for - some hopefully helpful advice re adoption attorneys. I guess you missed it.
Sultan, otoh, offered nothing but misinformation and snark. What new?

Lenny, you know you could've left out the "bad investment" part of your post, but ya felt bringing grievances from another topic, into another one from a fellow Scooper who was awesomely transparent and vulnerable.  You know it's okay to just say, yeah, my bad, I'll do better.

[withoutbias]

Lenny, you know you could've left out the "bad investment" part of your post, but ya felt bringing grievances from another topic, into another one from a fellow Scooper who was awesomely transparent and vulnerable.  You know it's okay to just say, yeah, my bad, I'll do better.

But Lenny's is always the victim.

[SoCalEagle]

UnleashSean, the best of luck to you and your wife.  I'm pulling for you guys!!!

SCE

[larrym]

UnleashSean, my wife and I adopted our 12 year old as a newborn from Houston.  We went through a local social worker that walked us through the process of applying to multiple out of state adoption agencies.  It was a really quick process in our case. We finished our booklet that they show to birth moms on the December 2011 day that Marquette won at the Kohl Center.  Our son was born in early February. 

We had multiple opportunities come and go during that time period.  It really was an exhausting roller coaster ride, but it was definitely worth it in the end.  We were notified on a Sunday that he had been born, and we were on a plane to Houston Tuesday morning with an empty baby car seat that prompted lots of questions during our journey.  We flew home with him when he was 11 days old.

We have an open adoption with his birth mom.  We first met her about a week after the birth during our stay in Houston while all of the paperwork was getting finished.  We travel down there about once a year to visit, most recently last month.  That relationship has been great for us and our son.

Best of luck in your journey!  PM me if you have any specific questions.

[MU82]

UnleashSean, my wife and I adopted our 12 year old as a newborn from Houston.  We went through a local social worker that walked us through the process of applying to multiple out of state adoption agencies.  It was a really quick process in our case. We finished our booklet that they show to birth moms on the December 2011 day that Marquette won at the Kohl Center.  Our son was born in early February. 

We had multiple opportunities come and go during that time period.  It really was an exhausting roller coaster ride, but it was definitely worth it in the end.  We were notified on a Sunday that he had been born, and we were on a plane to Houston Tuesday morning with an empty baby car seat that prompted lots of questions during our journey.  We flew home with him when he was 11 days old.

We have an open adoption with his birth mom.  We first met her about a week after the birth during our stay in Houston while all of the paperwork was getting finished.  We travel down there about once a year to visit, most recently last month.  That relationship has been great for us and our son.

Best of luck in your journey!  PM me if you have any specific questions.

Congrats, larry. What a great story about your happy family!

Also dgies - you've told versions of that before, and I smile every time. Marquette is lucky to have a great steward of its values like you.

Unleash - best of luck, and please keep us posted on your progress.

[Scoop Snoop]

Congrats, larry. What a great story about your happy family!

Also dgies - you've told versions of that before, and I smile every time. Marquette is lucky to have a great steward of its values like you.

Unleash - best of luck, and please keep us posted on your progress.

This post says it all. Unleash, remember to post a photo of the child in Marquette gear soon after arrival. 

[wadesworld]

Hello everyone,

Myself and my wife together cannot have children. Invitro will not work, insemination with a donor egg and womb would work, but we're not sure.

Has anyone else here gone the adoption route?

You're doing God's work.

I'm sending you a PM.  Dajudge might be a good resource.