Milwaukee Shootings

[mu03eng]

I know hey.  It seems to get more difficult every generation to pass along the sacrifices of the past.  I won't go into detail here but our multi-generational story frankly on both sides of the family must seem alien to our kids despite the fact that chick and I have worked very hard to try to instill those working class values.  But they are surrounded by so very much affluence and materialism.  One thing I will say.  Both benefited from a high school experience that was multi-racial and covered a wide socioeconomic swath.  And as many of you know and as I've discussed previously, there's been a cultural shift that many of my generation wouldn't recognize at today's Marquette.  Chitown has chimed in on this more than once.  It's not everyone but...

Curious how you achieved that experience for your kids. I was a military brat and moved all over the place and ended up in some good places and some bad.....forced me to adapt, see all sides, and realize no matter how bad I might have it somebody has it worse. It was tough but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'm trying to figure out how to deliver a similar experience for my kid to what you and Chick were able to do.

[real chili 83]

Curious how you achieved that experience for your kids. I was a military brat and moved all over the place and ended up in some good places and some bad.....forced me to adapt, see all sides, and realize no matter how bad I might have it somebody has it worse. It was tough but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'm trying to figure out how to deliver a similar experience for my kid to what you and Chick were able to do.

Just be true to your values.

[warriorchick]

It was self loathing, depending on the definition I fall in the beginning of the millenial generation.

We also had our first kid later than most so where we run into other parents of babies/toddlers like day care they are solidly millenials and I just want to shot myself in the face with something the things that are getting passed on to the newest generation from the most entitled generation.

We got some toy or another from a rummage sale that my son loves, topic came up when we were dropping him off at day care and I said something like "yeah it's great, 10 cents at a rummage sale and he's endlessly entertained". Two of the moms also dropping off reacted as if I announced that I was in the most contagious stages of the bubonic plague.

I really hope I can prevent my kid from becoming a self-entitled, pretentious a$$hole

And to your point Aggie, I totally agree, the millenials aren't totally to blame....their parents were idiots.

I am like you Eng; I would rather brag about how little I paid for something as opposed to how much I paid for something.  Back when Chick jr. and Glow jr. were tots, I mentioned to my then-boss (a woman who was born, raised, and still lived on the North Shore) that I bought quite a bit of my kids' brand-name clothes at resale and consignment shops.  She looked at me as if I had told her that I went dumpster diving for them. 

[GGGG]

Curious how you achieved that experience for your kids. I was a military brat and moved all over the place and ended up in some good places and some bad.....forced me to adapt, see all sides, and realize no matter how bad I might have it somebody has it worse. It was tough but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'm trying to figure out how to deliver a similar experience for my kid to what you and Chick were able to do.

Just be true to your values.

This is it.  Exactly.  Look your kids are going to have it easier than you.  You don't have to try to deliver similar experiences.  Just make sure they work for what they earn.

My kids both went to school with "credit card kids."  Neither of my kids had a credit card.  We made them pay for a portion of their schooling.  They both took out student loans to pay for that portion.  We took care of the balance of the direct, billed costs.  They had to work for their day to day expenses.

Neither of them were resentful in any way.  In fact both of them now pretty much look down on the credit card kids as pathetic.

[vogue65]

Very good discussion, thanks.

The only answer may be the Jesuit influence and philosoophy at MU.

That is why the universities are trying to instill community service as part of the higher education experience.

A nobel effort.

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

Very good discussion, thanks.

The only answer may be the Jesuit influence and philosoophy at MU.

That is why the universities are trying to instill community service as part of the higher education experience.

A nobel effort.

I can assure you the Jesuit influence didn't change my values at all, and I think I turned out okay. Not saying by it isn't of any value to some people but the emphasis isn't what it once was.

[warriorchick]

I can assure you the Jesuit influence didn't change my values at all, and I think I turned out okay. Not saying by it isn't of any value to some people but the emphasis isn't what it once was.

Compared to when I was at MU, it is much more emphasized.  I don't remember ever hearing about Jesuit values or Ignatian Thought outside of theology class. That philosophy is definitely way more pervasive across the university as a whole.

[Benny B]

I am a millennial and have literally never heard of anyone who has this arrangement.

And here I thought everyone had seen Tommy Boy.

[jsglow]

Curious how you achieved that experience for your kids. I was a military brat and moved all over the place and ended up in some good places and some bad.....forced me to adapt, see all sides, and realize no matter how bad I might have it somebody has it worse. It was tough but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'm trying to figure out how to deliver a similar experience for my kid to what you and Chick were able to do.

It's ALL about how you and Mrs. Eng live your lives.  If you can stay committed to 'people matter, things just break' then that'll rub off.  I have numerous examples we can share over a beer sometime.

[Wally Schroeder]

I am a millennial and have literally never heard of anyone who has this arrangement.

Really? I'm a grown millennial and my parents still pay my credit card every month. In college, they'd load up my Marquette card for late night feasting, and gave me extra cash so I could buy booze while underage.

[brewcity77]

My kids both went to school with "credit card kids."  Neither of my kids had a credit card.  We made them pay for a portion of their schooling.  They both took out student loans to pay for that portion.  We took care of the balance of the direct, billed costs.  They had to work for their day to day expenses.

I think this is huge. You learn to value the things you earn. I don't think parents should buy their kids cars or houses most definitely, but also think kids should pay for their own education or at the very least pay for a good chunk of it. When it's your $1,000+ per credit, that's an inspiration to pass the class and to not drop out.

[jsglow]

I think this is huge. You learn to value the things you earn. I don't think parents should buy their kids cars or houses most definitely, but also think kids should pay for their own education or at the very least pay for a good chunk of it. When it's your $1,000+ per credit, that's an inspiration to pass the class and to not drop out.

Agreed.  With the risk of sharing too much, both our kids were responsible for a percentage of their college costs.  We did count scholarships on their side of the ledger. Both drove LIMO until 3a a couple nights a week.

[WellsstreetWanderer]

"Something that is free has no value.
That which is obtained through effort is treasured.." They all got it

[keefe]

I know hey.  It seems to get more difficult every generation to pass along the sacrifices of the past.  I won't go into detail here but our multi-generational story frankly on both sides of the family must seem alien to our kids despite the fact that chick and I have worked very hard to try to instill those working class values.  But they are surrounded by so very much affluence and materialism.  One thing I will say.  Both benefited from a high school experience that was multi-racial and covered a wide socioeconomic swath.  And as many of you know and as I've discussed previously, there's been a cultural shift that many of my generation wouldn't recognize at today's Marquette.  Chitown has chimed in on this more than once.  It's not everyone but...

My wife was raised with solid Milwaukee Burgher values of thrift, hard work, and obedience which were useful as we reared our children in expat communities where kids had drivers, money, and a lot of personal freedom.

I recall we were with a group at a new restaurant in Jakarta which had a mezzanine bar level. Our then 15 year old eldest was there with his friends shooting pool, drinking Bintang beer, and smoking those Indonesian kretek (clove) cigarettes. His mother spotted him and was upstairs in a flash to dispense swift and sure justice.

An Italian friend commented that she had been rather harsh but her reply was classic Milwaukee: His dupa was going to regret that evening.

[GGGG]

Really? I'm a grown millennial and my parents still pay my credit card every month.

Are you serious?  Are you employed?

[source?]

I cannot imagine that my father would have given me a credit card, much less paid it off for me.

I was expected to work construction and such during summers while at Marquette. I remember my old man visiting me at Camp Upshur during a 6-week PLC summer boot camp and telling me he lined up a gig for me working construction once I finished up at Quantico. I literally went form training to be a Marine Corps officer to digging ditches.

My sisters, meanwhile, got sent to Europe during their summer breaks. When I asked him about the disparity he simply said they were girls.

I mean, wtfo.

This sounds remarkably like my father. He wouldn't even cosign the lease for my first apartment despite the fact that I had been working steadily since I was 14. Somehow there was always money to buy my sisters cars when they inevitably ran theirs into the ground. "They're girls" was always the response.

I'm firmly in the millennial age group, if anyone was curious.

[Benny B]

Really? I'm a grown millennial and my parents still pay my credit card every month. In college, they'd load up my Marquette card for late night feasting, and gave me extra cash so I could buy booze while underage.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

[Wally Schroeder]

Are you serious?  Are you employed?

Didn't think teal was necessary. I agree with the OP. I didn't know anyone at Marquette with a credit card bill paid by their parents. Sure, there were a number of kids who were clearly well off and provided the advantage of 100% parental funded education, but not the free reign being suggested.

[MU82]

Curious how you achieved that experience for your kids. I was a military brat and moved all over the place and ended up in some good places and some bad.....forced me to adapt, see all sides, and realize no matter how bad I might have it somebody has it worse. It was tough but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'm trying to figure out how to deliver a similar experience for my kid to what you and Chick were able to do.

I used to find that beating my kids within an inch of their lives and then yelling, "Shaddup or I'll really give you something to cry about," worked very well.

[drewm88]

Didn't think teal was necessary. I agree with the OP. I didn't know anyone at Marquette with a credit card bill paid by their parents. Sure, there were a number of kids who were clearly well off and provided the advantage of 100% parental funded education, but not the free reign being suggested.

I know somebody (non-MU) whose parents paid all of his expenses for him, at least through the first couple years out of college. They were loaded and wanted him to be able to commit his salary to savings/investment. He had a solid corporate job, not something where it was a struggle in the slightest.

[vogue65]

I can assure you the Jesuit influence didn't change my values at all, and I think I turned out okay. Not saying by it isn't of any value to some people but the emphasis isn't what it once was.

It takes time for most of us, at 50 it started to sink in.   At my reunion I saw a former president of Creighton watering the pots in front of Gesu, I call that Jesuit values.

[real chili 83]

I used to find that beating my kids within an inch of their lives and then yelling, "Shaddup or I'll really give you something to cry about," worked very well.

Are you serious?????

[keefe]

Are you serious?????

Why would you think otherwise?

Spare the whip and spoil the child.

[Coleman]

Laughing at all the "are you serious????" responses on this thread

[real chili 83]

How could you laugh at something so serious????????