Knee Defender?

[keefe]

...mind if i fart?  oh, they used to have a special section for that...

I remember when they allowed smoking on flights. Flying across the Pacific with a tube filled with hundreds of smokers was like something out of Dante's Inferno.

[mu03eng]

I had to fly back to DC for meetings during an A Stan deployment. It was a last minute trip and I knew it could last more than 24 hours so I threw together some survival ration Gorp at the TOC in J Bad - mixed nuts, M&Ms, and dried fruit into one of those large Zip Lock bags.

After grabbing a hop on a Mil Air rotator into Ramstein via Qatar, Kuwait, and Incirlik I transferred to the Frankfurt commercial side for a US Flag carrier into Dulles. After 18 hours I still had not eaten anything other than the crap the airlines call food - even though they bumped me up into Biz Class since I was in a flight suit. A woman from coach passed through Business to use the head and saw that I was eating Gorp which contains nuts.

She began complaining loudly, "Oh my God! That man is eating peanuts!" I looked around to figure out what the problem was realized she was pointing at me. She was actually demanding that the flight attendants confiscate my Gorp.

The FAs got her back to her cabin then asked if I wouldn't mind surrendering my survival rations. I explained that not only had I not eaten at Morton's Steak House in about 5 months but the Safeway and Whole Foods in Jalalabad were closed before I left town so this was my only food for 28 hours. I asked where this woman was seated and it turns out she was about 40 rows aft in a different compartment. 

Given that she was half a football field away I declined to give up my food and the Flight Attendants told me that was fine with them . She continued to bitch and the FO came out of the flight station and stopped by my seat, asking if I would appreciate him telling her to shut the f uck up. Turns out he was an FA 18 driver and was as disgusted as I was with her whinging. He told her to shut her mouth or she would be arrested.

This is the classic example of what I'm talking about.  The woman was breaking the rules just by using the head in the wrong section of the plane but has the temerity to complain about nuts.  Wish there was a way on commercial flights to make people members of the Martin Baker fan club just for being idiots.  God bless Rhino drivers!

[Benny B]

I had to fly back to DC for meetings during an A Stan deployment. It was a last minute trip and I knew it could last more than 24 hours so I threw together some survival ration Gorp at the TOC in J Bad - mixed nuts, M&Ms, and dried fruit into one of those large Zip Lock bags.

After grabbing a hop on a Mil Air rotator into Ramstein via Qatar, Kuwait, and Incirlik I transferred to the Frankfurt commercial side for a US Flag carrier into Dulles. After 18 hours I still had not eaten anything other than the crap the airlines call food - even though they bumped me up into Biz Class since I was in a flight suit. A woman from coach passed through Business to use the head and saw that I was eating Gorp which contains nuts.

She began complaining loudly, "Oh my God! That man is eating peanuts!" I looked around to figure out what the problem was realized she was pointing at me. She was actually demanding that the flight attendants confiscate my Gorp.

The FAs got her back to her cabin then asked if I wouldn't mind surrendering my survival rations. I explained that not only had I not eaten at Morton's Steak House in about 5 months but the Safeway and Whole Foods in Jalalabad were closed before I left town so this was my only food for 28 hours. I asked where this woman was seated and it turns out she was about 40 rows aft in a different compartment. 

Given that she was half a football field away I declined to give up my food and the Flight Attendants told me that was fine with them . She continued to bitch and the FO came out of the flight station and stopped by my seat, asking if I would appreciate him telling her to shut the f uck up. Turns out he was an FA 18 driver and was as disgusted as I was with her whinging. He told her to shut her mouth or she would be arrested.

Something about this is reminiscent of when Rigby and Mordecai impersonated astronauts in order to cut the line at the grilled cheese place.

[keefe]

This is the classic example of what I'm talking about.  The woman was breaking the rules just by using the head in the wrong section of the plane but has the temerity to complain about nuts.  Wish there was a way on commercial flights to make people members of the Martin Baker fan club just for being idiots.  God bless Rhino drivers!

If she had been seated within smelling distance I would have gladly surrendered my Gorp but only if she asked nicely. Instead, she made a spectacle inside a tube full of people trying to sleep about a GI eating survival rations.

It is people like that who make you wish Triple 7's have a Jettison All button if not a Martin Baker 13 G Thrill Ride.

The FO was a stellar guy, for a Navy Rhino driver that is...

[leever]

This is the classic example of what I'm talking about.  The woman was breaking the rules just by using the head in the wrong section of the plane but has the temerity to complain about nuts.  Wish there was a way on commercial flights to make people members of the Martin Baker fan club just for being idiots.  God bless Rhino drivers!

Wait a minute!  Are you saying a woman was complaining about Keefe's nuts?

[brandx]

Wait a minute!  Are you saying a woman was complaining about Keefe's nuts?

I think she is at the back of a long line

[Sir Lawrence]

I remember when they allowed smoking on flights. Flying across the Pacific with a tube filled with hundreds of smokers was like something out of Dante's Inferno.

In the first row of no smoking section, flight to Frankfort, German gal behind me not only puffing away (her right at the time) but also doing her nails.  The combination of tobacco smoke and nail polish remover was gag inducing.  FA moved me into the bubble of the 747, so it worked out.

[keefe]

In the first row of no smoking section, flight to Frankfort, German gal behind me not only puffing away (her right at the time) but also doing her nails.  The combination of tobacco smoke and nail polish remover was gag inducing.  FA moved me into the bubble of the 747, so it worked out.

You flew to Kentucky?

[Benny B]

I think she is at the back of a long line

There's actually a video on the incident.

http://www.youtube.com/e/qvPugcb7QGE

[Sir Lawrence]

You flew to Kentucky?

Good catch.  Frankfurt. 

[rocket surgeon]

I remember when they allowed smoking on flights. Flying across the Pacific with a tube filled with hundreds of smokers was like something out of Dante's Inferno.

and they had ashtrays the size of a shot glass for an 8 hour flight

[keefe]

Good catch.  Frankfurt. 

I was just messin' witchya Larry

[Sir Lawrence]

I was just messin' witchya Larry

Never been to Frankfort.  But I'm not a big fan of Frankfurt.  Gimme Munich any day.

[ChicosBailBonds]

Never been to Frankfort.  But I'm not a big fan of Frankfurt.  Gimme Munich any day.

Hamburg

[keefe]

Never been to Frankfort.  But I'm not a big fan of Frankfurt.  Gimme Munich any day.

Frankfurt is bland. Munich is superb year round while Koln is great for Fasching. But if it's a German speaking city I'll take Vienna.

[mr.MUskie]

On a flight to Paris the French couple in front of us put on sleeping masks as soon as the seat belt light went off.  They put their seats all the way back and stayed that way for the whole 7  hour flight.  My tray was pressed into my gut.  That kind of worked out ok, as they were serving a really nice French beef dish with a nice red wine.  I was looking forward to it.   Of course, they ran out of that 2 rows in front of us, and offered us some smelly fish dinner.  My wife and I don't eat fish.  7 hours of being hungry and pissed off, so I spent it banging and bumping on the tray.

[tower912]

November 2001.   The height of the anthrax scare.    Flying St. Pete to Atlanta to transfer.   Still sitting on the ground and I put my tray down.   There on my tray is a whole bunch of white powder.   A thousand things ran through my head, mostly laced with obscenities.  The way things were at that time, if I had brought it to the attention of a FA, who knows what would have happened.     Ultimately, I decided f-it, swept it onto the floor and pretended it never happened.
September, 2002.   Flying Tucson to Chicago, in the airport in Arizona,  being a sarcastic person by nature, I made what to my mind was a mild sarcastic remark to a TSA agent.    20 minutes later, after my extensive search, I ruefully contemplated my lack of filter.   

[Sir Lawrence]

My wife and I don't eat fish.  

Odd.  Mr. Muskie doesn't eat fish. 

[Benny B]

Odd.  Mr. Muskie doesn't eat fish. 

What ever happened to "big fish eat little fish"?

[keefe]

Odd.  Mr. Muskie doesn't eat fish. 

Cannibalism?