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Author Topic: So what kind of ring did you get your wife when you popped the question?  (Read 4322 times)

muwarrior69

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https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/04/ada-diamonds-sells-lab-grown-diamonds-and-jewelers-cant-tell.html

They did not have lab grown diamonds back in my day, but these sure look nice. With societal changes are diamond rings still a thing?


ZiggysFryBoy

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The jeweler that I bought her rock from told me to get the biggest rock you can afford, in the cut that she wanted, and not to worry about clarity or color (to a certain point, he wasn't going to sell me a junk rock).

14 years later, the rock (1.5 carat)is nice but the whole engagement ring envy is nothing more than a 25 year old's my dad can beat up your dad.

#UnleashSean

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A house. Diamonds are a pointless waste of money. I spend my money on things that don't instantly lose value.

Jockey

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The jeweler that I bought her rock from told me to get the biggest rock you can afford

We all fell for that. The bigger the rocks that WE bought, the bigger the house that HE bought.

tower912

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We went ring shopping.    She established a pattern of what she liked.    Cut, size, sapphire setting.     5-6 that she saw that she kind of swooned over.    I picked out the one I liked that met her criteria almost instantly.   But we kept looking.     Then I went back to the jeweler and got the one I liked, made a couple of small adjustments to perfectly match her criteria and gave it to her a few weeks later. 
Luke 6:45   ...A good man produces goodness from the good in his heart; an evil man produces evil out of his store of evil.   Each man speaks from his heart's abundance...

It is better to be fearless and cheerful than cheerless and fearful.

jesmu84

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Had I not had a diamond in the family, I would have gone the lab route. My diamond wasn't the absolute cut that she preferred, so I allowed her to be super picky with setting. Had it custom made. Setting and accessory stones were still way way less cost than the main stone. Helps if you know an independent jeweler who works out of the home

Dr. Blackheart

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Tattoo ring.

SaveOD238

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I dragged TAMU and two other friends with me when I went ring shopping for my wife.  They all returned the favor.  By the time we got to TAMU (he was last) we were all basically experts.

So, go with your buddies.  You’ll have a blast.

rocket surgeon

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paying off over $100,000 in student loans at 15% kinda put a damper on those simpler things in life. if she couldn't get a golf glove over it, what's the use anyway, enn'a hey?   she more than made up for the loss later.   
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Juan Anderson's Mixtape

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True story: My wife bought her own engagement ring.  And I wasn't even with her when she bought it.

She made it clear that if I was going to propose, don't bother with the ring.  She wanted to be the one picking it out so she could get what she wants.

So after we got engaged, she went to look at rings one night when I was working.  I was still at work when I got a text from her saying she had found a ring she liked, so she bought it.  And it was under $1,000 to boot.

Billy Hoyle

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played two brothers, who had a falling out and thus owned competing jewelry stores, against one another.  Went for clarity and style over the size of a diamond. I went with a Canadian diamond over a child slave labor African diamond.
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Chili

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I got an antique diamond in a new setting. Knew what the wife wanted so picked it out based on that. We also decided on a price point not to go over as we knew spending over $5k on ring was a waste. Paid way less than that. Got a jeweler recommendation from a buddy who suggested using an out of state jeweler (we live in Chicago - his - and now my - jeweler is in Edina, MN) so now we avoid that pesky sales tax thing. Will save you quite a bit in the long run. The jeweler sent me a catalog of what they've done and we set up a few conference calls. The rest was all done over the phone & via email / text images. They then ship via certified and insured FedEx. Only way to buy and they make all the jewelry custom for you or go searching for exactly what you want.

But I like to throw handfuls...

UWW2MU

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I was fortunate enough that my wife's grandmother, who she was very close with, left her wedding ring to my wife when she passed.  I proposed with that ring and then we used the center stone to make a custom ring exactly the way she wanted.  We then put my wife's birthstone in the old ring and gave it to my mother-in-law one year.   Not only did we save a lot of money (aka, not waste a ton of money on the contrived value of diamonds) but the ring is beautiful and we now have two family heirlooms to pass down. 

MUEng92

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My wife and I are both of Irish heritage.  I actually bought a gold Claddagh ring and used it to propose on St. Patrick's Day.  It was dual purpose with the Irish connection and the understanding that I didn't have a clue what diamond ring she would want.  She was able to take her time and pick out exactly what she wanted for the actual engagement ring.

StillAWarrior

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I was a poor college student, and bought my wife an inexpensive solitaire at a mall jewelry store.  Although it felt like a fortune at the time, I knew it was an inexpensive ring.  When we shopped for a wedding ring 18 months later, we bought one that she picked out and loved.  It cost more than the engagement ring, but still inexpensive.  We then had the engagement diamond re-set in a custom setting that fit snugly against the contours of the wedding ring.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2018, 12:51:29 PM by StillAWarrior »
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GB Warrior

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I was adamant about waiting to propose until we could afford a ring that we wouldn't want to eventually replace or upgrade. Nothing ridiculous, but I was a big believer in the symbolism. Buying something with the intent to replace/upgrade the diamond felt wrong.

martyconlonontherun

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Wife's grandmother's ring. Complete opposite of what she wanted so I'm glad she recognized it right away before thinking I was an idiot who screwed up the ring.

That said, total waste of money for new ring and would've been interesting if she shared my beliefs. She's practical but also traditional so I doubt she would've been thrilled with a lab ring.

jesmu84

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played two brothers, who had a falling out and thus owned competing jewelry stores, against one another.  Went for clarity and style over the size of a diamond. I went with a Canadian diamond over a child slave labor African diamond.

No matter what anyone tells you, it is nearly impossible to trace a gem's origins unless they saw it mined with their own eyes

Spotcheck Billy

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I was fortunate that my wife had a gaudy diamond cocktail ring her mother left to her that had 20 small diamonds surrounding a single 1 carat diamond. She had let me know she wanted to re-use diamonds from her mother's ring. She picked out the engagement and wedding rings and my ring and we had "free" diamonds put in all three so that my rings at $400 was the most expensive of the 3 since it contained more gold.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2018, 03:16:53 PM by Waldo Jeffers »

4everwarriors

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Went thru lotsa Cracker Jack boxes 'til I got da rite won, hey?
"Give 'Em Hell, Al"

mu_hilltopper

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I went to the jeweler (alone) a few blocks from where I lived .. oddly, they had no stones in the 1 carat range .. said they'd call me when a new shipment arrived.

I was on the road a lot back then, and my (future wife) had a key to my place so she could use my computer to write her masters thesis.  One day, she answers my phone ..  "Uh, tell Mr. Hilltopper the diamonds he wants to see are in."

How freaking dumb can you get.   I did not buy from there.

Herman Cain

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I bought the biggest ring I could  afford in a setting that she designed.
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MU82

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The jeweler that I bought her rock from told me to get the biggest rock you can afford

I followed this credo, too, but ...

I was a college senior, so I couldn't afford bupkis!

I went to a jeweler in downtown Milwaukee and found a ring I thought was cute (and cheap). IIRC, it cost $105. And I didn't have anywhere near $105, so I bought it on layaway. Every couple weeks, after getting paid for my part-time job, I'd go put another $5 or $10 toward it. I finally had enough to buy it outright about a week before I proposed to her.

Can diamonds be measured in negative carats? That's how small the stone was!

My wife, being the great lady she is, proudly wore that tiny stone for more than a year before we got married. She still has it 35 years later and occasionally puts it on, even though I bought her a "real" diamond ring for our 20th anniversary.

Don't that story make y'all wanna say, "Awwww"?
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4everwarriors

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Nah, just sez you're were a cheap khazer, hey?
"Give 'Em Hell, Al"

MU82

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Nah, just sez you're were a cheap khazer, hey?

They say to spend, what, 2-3 months salary on the engagement ring? I spent, like, a year's salary on it!

But sure ... easy to call the Hebe cheap!
“It’s not how white men fight.” - Tucker Carlson

naginiF

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My wife and I are both of Irish heritage.  I actually bought a gold Claddagh ring and used it to propose on St. Patrick's Day.  It was dual purpose with the Irish connection and the understanding that I didn't have a clue what diamond ring she would want.  She was able to take her time and pick out exactly what she wanted for the actual engagement ring.
I went the Claddagh with an emerald as the birth present for our first.

For the engagement ring i knew the cut she wanted and wound up finding the best deal (combo quality/size) on line....BlueNile maybe?.  If i was as socially conscious back then as i am now, and if they had lab grown back then, i would've gone that route. 

theBabyDavid

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Went to Blue Nile for theBabyDavid's mother. Realized I had a 10% sales tax hit with Seattle-based Blue Nile so pivoted hard into New York-based James Allen.

On-line shopping is the way to go. Phenomenal selection, great images, and unpressured tailored support makes identifying the right stone and setting a breeze. Ring was Fed Exed within two days of wire transfer.

Some said to focus on carat but the other three C's are equally important. Cut, color, and clarity are all integral to delivering the brilliant fire effect which is what a woman wants in a diamond.

Got theBabyDavid's mother a 3.2 carat Ideal cut Princess, with F color and vvs1 clarity set in platinum. The whole operation, from shopping to fulfillment was less than a week. And on-line venues offer significant value over brick and mortar retailers.
"I don't care what Chick says, my mom's a babe" 

theBabyDavid

brewcity77

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I had my wife's best friend come along. Good thing, because the first ring I picked looked like the one her ex had bought her. I bought the stone and ring separately. I'm not a fan of the lab grown diamonds because everyone has their own facet count, and if you want to trade something in, you can really only trade it back where it came from (like the often advertised Kessler 81).

I spent enough for it to look good, not so much to break the bank. The key is getting a setting you like. You can always upgrade the center stone in time.
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JWags85

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Some said to focus on carat but the other three C's are equally important. Cut, color, and clarity are all integral to delivering the brilliant fire effect which is what a woman wants in a diamond.

Actually not true at all.  The only of the 4 Cs that contribute to the sparkle of a diamond is cut.  Color and clarity grades are just a measure of rarity.  Lot less D flawless stones floating around then K SI2s.  But if you cut those "lower quality" stones better, you're going to get the desired effect from across the room, where they won't be able to tell what clarity it is.  The human eye cant really tell the difference between an F and a K color, without a white backdrop and comparison points.

I'm not a fan of the lab grown diamonds because everyone has their own facet count, and if you want to trade something in, you can really only trade it back where it came from (like the often advertised Kessler 81).

Lab grown has serious issues.  They've been advertising themselves as a 10-20% discount to natural stones and positioning themselves as a real alternative, especially to millennial.  Well Debeers just rocked the market last week with a new brand called Lightbox which will sell for about $800 a carat.  Which will now set the pricing for man made like other gemstones, not on par with natural.

Kesslers has been selling as much as 70% percent of their diamond sales as lab grown, offering their full buyback guarantee.  Now all of a sudden people are going to have a $4000 stone they bought that they are reading in the NYT is only worth $800.  Could be disastrous for Kesslers and others like them.

As you can likely tell, I'm in the industry.  I'm not a jeweler, I dont sell diamonds, but my customers span pretty much the entire supply chain all the way through retail.  I have friends all the time ask for my opinions on their SO's ring or the like.  I ask her if she's happy with the ring, does she love it?  Usually its a resounding yes...and then I tell them my opinion doesn't matter more than that.

I do get annoyed to hear tired diamond tropes and myths, most of which are based on antiquated facts or stereotypes, get trotted out again and again, but thats just me.

jesmu84

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jesmu84

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Actually not true at all.  The only of the 4 Cs that contribute to the sparkle of a diamond is cut.  Color and clarity grades are just a measure of rarity.  Lot less D flawless stones floating around then K SI2s.  But if you cut those "lower quality" stones better, you're going to get the desired effect from across the room, where they won't be able to tell what clarity it is.  The human eye cant really tell the difference between an F and a K color, without a white backdrop and comparison points.

Lab grown has serious issues.  They've been advertising themselves as a 10-20% discount to natural stones and positioning themselves as a real alternative, especially to millennial.  Well Debeers just rocked the market last week with a new brand called Lightbox which will sell for about $800 a carat.  Which will now set the pricing for man made like other gemstones, not on par with natural.

Kesslers has been selling as much as 70% percent of their diamond sales as lab grown, offering their full buyback guarantee.  Now all of a sudden people are going to have a $4000 stone they bought that they are reading in the NYT is only worth $800.  Could be disastrous for Kesslers and others like them.

As you can likely tell, I'm in the industry.  I'm not a jeweler, I dont sell diamonds, but my customers span pretty much the entire supply chain all the way through retail.  I have friends all the time ask for my opinions on their SO's ring or the like.  I ask her if she's happy with the ring, does she love it?  Usually its a resounding yes...and then I tell them my opinion doesn't matter more than that.

I do get annoyed to hear tired diamond tropes and myths, most of which are based on antiquated facts or stereotypes, get trotted out again and again, but thats just me.

So, other than this new pricing/competitor issue, what are the "serious issues" with lab grown?

dgies9156

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They say to spend, what, 2-3 months salary on the engagement ring? I spent, like, a year's salary on it!

But sure ... easy to call the Hebe cheap!

I was cheap too. Lived in the Quad Cities at the time; first job out of college. Did the best I could and then replaced it in the center of her ring with a new custom design when we had been married 15 years.

Original stone is still in the ring on the side. Two small tones around a large one, the two small ones have come to represent each of our children.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2018, 07:49:31 AM by dgies9156 »

StillAWarrior

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« Last Edit: June 06, 2018, 07:16:48 AM by StillAWarrior »
Never wrestle with a pig.  You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

Dr. Blackheart

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What ever happened to dowries? 

4everwarriors

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Dat went out wit virginity, hey?
"Give 'Em Hell, Al"

dgies9156

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What ever happened to dowries?

Brother Blackheart welcomes you to the 16th Century!

JWags85

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So, other than this new pricing/competitor issue, what are the "serious issues" with lab grown?

Well I didn’t mean the stones themselves, after all they are still diamonds. But the market and positioning of them will fundamentally change, and I think that will significantly impact their place in the jewelery industry. I think they will see a large push into the “fashion” space, but this will likely throw a lot of cold water on the “natural diamond” replacement/alternative for engagement rings.

And oh yea, DeBeers hasn’t had monopoly in 20 years, and there has been a decent rough shortage for the last 3-5 years, none of that restricting supply nonsense anymore. It used to be easy to find diamonds, now mining is much more involved and costly, and demand only continues to grow.

It is interesting though. Areas where diamond engagement rings weren’t marketed and embedded into the culture (Many South American countries, parts of Asia until they became very westernized) have very limited demand, so you don’t meet many retailers from there in the industry.

chapman

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What ever happened to dowries?

I proposed five pounds of gold, 50 pounds of silver, and two goats. 

I rescinded my request when I was informed that historically I would be the one giving up my goats and gold when marrying a Jewish woman.

 

Jay Bee

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First ring was a horrible experience, but by wife #4 I was a pro.
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rocket surgeon

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Dat went out wit virginity, hey?

diamonds are the viagra and wedding cake is the antidote
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