Top 10 US Beaches

[ZiggysFryBoy]

The first rule of topless/nude beaches:

The overwhelming majority of  people who take advantage of it are the ones you don't want to see naked.

Mazomanie Beach, Mazomanie, WI.  Closed down by the DNR.

Beejay would bring some of his boyz down from MPLS for the afternoon, to just hang out.

[MU82]

The first rule of topless/nude beaches:

The overwhelming majority of  people who take advantage of it are the ones you don't want to see naked.

OK, now I've got to tell my story about my first trip to Maui's Little Beach.

My wife and I went to Maui and we ended up at Big Beach. Somebody there said that, on the other side of the rock jetty, was Little Beach - and it was "clothing optional." So we had to go check that out, of course.

We get there and the first thing we see is this beautiful family: The dad looks like effen Thor - totally built, with long blond hair. The mom looks like the freakin' Khaleesi, honest. I mean, you couldn't have found a more beautiful couple at a Playboy shoot. And to top it off (pun intended), they had two perfect, blond, naked kids, a boy and a girl, maybe around 4 and 6. I shyte you not about any of this. I've never seen anything like it.

I have told this story many times, and my wife will slap me upside the head if I embellish any story, and she agrees I'm telling the total truth about this family.

After that sunk in for a minute, though, we took a look around. Yikes! Without going into great detail, let me say that the BMIs on just about everybody else we saw were ... well ... infinity. Lots of blubber.

Except for the gay guys. There were a half-dozen of them playing frisbee - yes, frisbee - running and jumping into the waves. They had a couple of dogs, too, and I made some wiseass comment about hoping the dogs didn't mistake certain body parts for Snausages.

This was 15 years ago, and obviously it was memorable. Still can't get over that family. Wonder what they're doing these days.

[dgies9156]

OK, now I've got to tell my story about my first trip to Maui's Little Beach.

My wife and I went to Maui and we ended up at Big Beach. Somebody there said that, on the other side of the rock jetty, was Little Beach - and it was "clothing optional." So we had to go check that out, of course.

We get there and the first thing we see is this beautiful family: The dad looks like effen Thor - totally built, with long blond hair. The mom looks like the freakin' Khaleesi, honest. I mean, you couldn't have found a more beautiful couple at a Playboy shoot. And to top it off (pun intended), they had two perfect, blond, naked kids, a boy and a girl, maybe around 4 and 6. I shyte you not about any of this. I've never seen anything like it.

I have told this story many times, and my wife will slap me upside the head if I embellish any story, and she agrees I'm telling the total truth about this family.

After that sunk in for a minute, though, we took a look around. Yikes! Without going into great detail, let me say that the BMIs on just about everybody else we saw were ... well ... infinity. Lots of blubber.

Except for the gay guys. There were a half-dozen of them playing frisbee - yes, frisbee - running and jumping into the waves. They had a couple of dogs, too, and I made some wiseass comment about hoping the dogs didn't mistake certain body parts for Snausages.

This was 15 years ago, and obviously it was memorable. Still can't get over that family. Wonder what they're doing these days.

Relishing in their 30+ BMI.

[real chili 83]

May not quite qualify as a beach, but the sheet I saw at the 7 sacred pools of Hana on my honeymoon was......interesting

Does the Apple River qualify as a nude beach?

[real chili 83]

I nominate Schroeder Beach

[tower912]

Beaches on the Michigan side of Lake Michigan are, as a rule, better than those on the Wisconsin side.   The water is usually warmer on this side due to prevailing winds. 

[Jables1604]

If any of you ever get the opportunity to spend any time in Martha’s Vineyard you’ll find that the beaches (and restaurants) are extraordinary. It’s a bit difficult to get a car over on the ferry during the summer season but the month or so after Labor Day is breathtaking. The island is quiet, tranquil and a wonderful place to decompress.

[augoman]

Passage Key, off the northern tip of Anna Maria in the mouth of Tampa Bay is the best nude beach I've encountered in Florida.  Also a tremendous beach on both the gulf side and the bay side.  Great shallows for wading and anchoring- bird sanctuary key so, technically not walkable, but covered with people sans swimsuits.  Boat anchored next to us and the passengers promptly stripped, swam, dove from the stern and sunbathed all afternoon.  They never went near the key.
Siesta Key and Pass A Grille beaches have to be US public top 10.

[NorthernDancerColt]

Beaches on the Michigan side of Lake Michigan are, as a rule, better than those on the Wisconsin side.   The water is usually warmer on this side due to prevailing winds.

Also.....

Sunsets.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Passage Key, off the northern tip of Anna Maria in the mouth of Tampa Bay is the best nude beach I've encountered in Florida.  Also a tremendous beach on both the gulf side and the bay side.  Great shallows for wading and anchoring- bird sanctuary key so, technically not walkable, but covered with people sans swimsuits.  Boat anchored next to us and the passengers promptly stripped, swam, dove from the stern and sunbathed all afternoon.  They never went near the key.
Siesta Key and Pass A Grille beaches have to be US public top 10.

How bad is sunburn on your cockandballs?

Gotta be brutal.

[real chili 83]

How bad is sunburn on your cockandballs?

Gotta be brutal.

Sunday evening drum circle on Siesta Key is entertaining. 

Cheeseburgers at the New Pass Grill and bait shop are heavenly.

[dgies9156]

How bad is sunburn on your cockandballs?

Gotta be brutal.

There is absolutely no place in Florida sans South Beach in Miami, where I would want to be at a nude beach.

That said, when my daughter was about 4, she and I spent the day at South Beach. We went to the beach, put out our blanket and she began to, well, be a kid and bounce around. A woman, who I might add was very attractive, sat down next to us and proceeded to remove the top of her bathing suit.

Dad, admittedly was pleased. That is, until my four-year-old toddler asked if she too could remove the top of her bathing suit. To add insult to injury, Mommy found out about it when we came home that evening and was none too amused.

[Dr. Blackheart]

Sunday evening drum circle on Siesta Key is entertaining. 

No thanks!

Notable regular visitors to Siesta Key include Dick Vitale

[rocket surgeon]

The first rule of topless/nude beaches:

The overwhelming majority of  people who take advantage of it are the ones you don't want to see naked.

a close 2nd or maybe even rule #1a is make sure the water is warm before jumpin in nekid.  lake michigan water in june has been known to humble even long johnny, eyn'a?

[real chili 83]

No thanks!

If you saw the video of the woman in the one piece, dancing to the beat, or the belly dancer, you’d attend every Sunday.

[4everwarriors]

How bad is sunburn on your cockandballs?

Gotta be brutal.

Nothin' four ya to fret 'bout, bro 'cuzof minute surface area.  Furst da sun would hafta locate said gonads, aina?

[dgies9156]

May not quite qualify as a beach, but the sheet I saw at the 7 sacred pools of Hana on my honeymoon was......interesting

Does the Apple River qualify as a nude beach?

Only if Lake Nebagamon does!!!!!!

[real chili 83]

I guarantee you LN looks like a prayer service compared to the Apple.

When are you going to be a Soft Pines again?

Btw, fishing was outstanding last night.  4 walleyes in 45 minutes.  This morning, 36 inch northern. Walleyes and nord were with minnows and bobber and 4lb test.   Nord took about 10 min. Thought for sure he’d break off

[dgies9156]

I guarantee you LN looks like a prayer service compared to the Apple.

When are you going to be a Soft Pines again?

Btw, fishing was outstanding last night.  4 walleyes in 45 minutes.  This morning, 36 inch northern. Walleyes and nord were with minnows and bobber and 4lb test.   Nord took about 10 min. Thought for sure he’d break off

Were you on Nebagamon when you nailed those fish?

[augoman]

Nothin' four ya to fret 'bout, bro 'cuzof minute surface area.  Furst da sun would hafta locate said gonads, aina?

well, on the rare occaision I let my boys roam, I make sure to stay in at least waist deep water.  Last thing I want is to be the guy nobody wants to see nekkid! 

[real chili 83]

Were you on Nebagamon when you nailed those fish?

Yes