Do You Know Your Neighbors?

[StillAWarrior]

The question in the title -- Do you know your neighbors -- was prompted by a recent experience that I thought was kind of funny (but a little sad).

We've lived in the same house for 20+ years.  We've raised our four kids there.  Our house is not in a development...we don't have sidewalks and we don't have the shared back yards like a lot of developments do (the yards on our side of the street back up to woods).  Almost nobody has fenced yards.  It's a fairly normal street about 0.5 miles long connecting two more major streets.  There are approximately 20 houses on each side of the street - probably averaging about 0.5 acre lots.  Fairly typical, I think.

We know one of our immediately adjacent neighbors pretty well.  We get together and we exchange gifts at Christmas, etc.  We knew the neighbors on the other side casually, but they were elderly and have passed away.  We understand the house has been sold and have met the people who bought it, but that was more than a year ago and they still haven't moved in.  We're not sure what's going on there.  My youngest (15) was really excited to learn that they have a son her age because she'd never had a neighbor that was her age.  Or so she thought.

Earlier this year my daughter met a girl her age at a HS football game.  My daughter goes to a private school on the southeast side of the city; this girl goes to a private school on the northwest side of the city.  The two girls hit it off and, as kids these days tend to do, they exchanged social media information.  They've kept in touch through that since then, and have seen each other at several other events (all of which have been at a third private school where they have some common friends).  Over the last six months, there have been many times when my daughter talked about this girl and how much she likes her and how well they get along.

Fast forward to yesterday when my daughter found out that this other girl lives across the street from us.  Literally, across the street.  One house over.  According to Google Maps, their front door is 110 yards from our front door.  We had absolutely no idea.  I don't understand how that is even possible.  They've been there at least 10 years.

I guess that means we're crappy neighbors.  And so are they, I suppose.  My daughter is over the moon excited to not only have a neighbor her age, but it's a girl that she has been friends with and really likes.  Crazy.  And sad.

So, do you know your neighbors?  Do you get together with them?  Or are you antisocial like we (apparently) are?

[GGGG]

We know who most of our neighbors are.  The houses in our neighborhood rarely turn-over.  We are in a newer development with all of the homes built within the past ten years, and I think out of the 20 or so houses, all of them have their original owners except for four of them. 

That being said, we don't do anything socially with our neighbors.  No neighborhood parties, etc.  We have a number of friends in town that we mostly hang out with.  People we have known for almost 20 years and got connected with through our kids.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

few times walkin out to da mail bocks in my skivvies and nobooty wantz to talk ta me and imma fine wit zat.

BTW, I live in Mequon in the same hood as TC (sucks) used to live in.

Who am I?

[#UnleashSean]

I'm guessing it has to do with an age thing. Back when my family lived in Tosa and it was a *young* neighborhood we knew all the neighbors and had tons of block parties. When we moved years ago we again knew all the neighbors in the new place. But now we know none of the new ones when our old ones moved away.

Fast forward to Bayview another young neighborhood where some friends live. They know everyone and have tons of block parties.

[Galway Eagle]

Knew nobody but the family my sister babysat for when my family moved to Oak Park, but everyone on the block had kids at least 10yrs younger than me and they all knew each other. In Chicago we knew everybody within a two block radius.

[StillAWarrior]

It's funny, but I knew that they had kids.  I just thought they were several years younger than our youngest.  I'm still sure that they do have younger kids...we just didn't know about the older ones (and I've now learned that they also have a son in HS).  I see them out walking their dog with younger kids, but I don't recall ever seeing the older ones.  We walk the dog with my kids, so I'm a little surprised they never noticed or said anything.

We've had a number of pleasant interactions with the parents over the years, but it was obviously very "surface" if we never came to the shared realization that we had kids the same age.

[🏀]

We moved into our current house four years ago. We became really close with the one neighbor in our cul-de-sac, they were awesome. Kids were out, maintained their yard to my impeccable standards and nice people.

They sold in August. Since then the new neighbors enjoy dandelions, four-wheelers and using the cul-de-sac as an extension of their yard. Another neighbor has a theory they are a couple from The Amazing Race since they are reclusive, have almost zero background information/internet profile and have a close resemblance.

Our daughter is friends with the two boys behind out and a girl a couple doors down.

[brewcity77]

We know them enough to have passing conversations, but not well. I'll put it like this, when Cheryl, our immediate neighbor to the north saw me pushing a stroller, she said in a shocked voice "oh, what happened, how did you get a baby?!?" I think the only thing that shocked her more was when I said "the old fashioned way." None of our neighbors even knew Holly was pregnant.

[UWW2MU]

We know them enough to have passing conversations, but not well. I'll put it like this, when Cheryl, our immediate neighbor to the north saw me pushing a stroller, she said in a shocked voice "oh, what happened, how did you get a baby?!?" I think the only thing that shocked her more was when I said "the old fashioned way." None of our neighbors even knew Holly was pregnant.

Ha!  I love this!


As for the topic at hand... I moved about a year ago to a subdivision in Cedarburg that has small lot sizes and many communal cul-de-sacs.  Moving from the Milwaukee/Tosa area, I assumed this would mean all the neighbors would know one another well as they did in my old neighborhood.  This turned out not to be the case. 

I've met a couple direct neighbors but really only extensively talked to one directly next to us.  Our cul-de-sac is pretty much all retired couples, although some of the neighbors a little further away seem younger.  So maybe that has played into it.  However, I did notice one house where minivans sporting STH MU stickers on the back windows gather during all MU games.  I definitely need to reach out to them!

Ultimately, it's probably just us since we don't spend much time outside.  That and I always seem to say something awkward the few times I've actually talked to other neighbors.  Oops...!

[SaveOD238]

I'm guessing it has to do with an age thing. Back when my family lived in Tosa and it was a *young* neighborhood we knew all the neighbors and had tons of block parties. When we moved years ago we again knew all the neighbors in the new place. But now we know none of the new ones when our old ones moved away.

Fast forward to Bayview another young neighborhood where some friends live. They know everyone and have tons of block parties.

I'd agree on the age thing.  My wife have lived in our neighborhood for almost four years and I think were still the youngest (29 and 30) couple in the neighborhood.  Everyone else is middle aged or older.  We don't have many interactions with neighbors, which I think is unfortunate.  In fact, we found out at the HOA meeting that our behind-neighbors have a newborn (we're expecting in August) and I told my wife she needs to make friends so they can have baby play-dates.

Funny story: the FIRST interaction we had with neighbors was on the second day we owned the house.  I was at work, and my wife locked herself out (she locked the interior garage door for some reason), with the tea kettle boiling.  She had to go (barefoot, I think) to the brand new neighbors and introduce herself to borrow a phone to call me.  Not the best first impression.

[TAMU, Knower of Ball]

I live in a college town so it's a little different. Almost all the houses around us are rented to college students who shove as many people in as possible. We have at least 8 guys from the same fraternity living next to us on one side and at least 10 girls from the same sorority living next to us on the other side. So we're sandwiched between the movies Neighbors 1 and Neighbors 2.

Other than a few loud parties its mostly been fine. The fraternity invited us to a few parties when they first moved in but I assured them that they did not want a university employee there. They stopped asking when they realized what office I worked for

[mu03eng]

It's a great topic of conversation. Our neighborhood is almost 40 years old and when we moved in 9 years ago we were probably one of the youngest couples within a half mile radius of the neighborhood. I met all of the immediate neighbors, who all had kids no younger than junior high or were empty nesters,within in the first year but never engaged with them more than in passing. We were pre-kid so we were either out with friends, travelling, or generally not around at least when our neighbors were.

However, in the last 2 or 3 years we're starting to see the neighborhood turn over as younger families are moving in replacing families that are now retiring, etc. We had neighbors move in next to us within that time period that we've gotten close with (dinners at least once a month, take the husband to MU games with me from time to time, and we'll hang out if we're both outside) and we had two different sets of friends move into our neighborhood as well. The neighbors are moving out immediately behind us (older couple with grandkids) and apparently a young couple is moving in (according to my neighbor friend who is the town spy as far as I can tell). I finally just met the guy down the street who has a tiki bar in his garage in the summer and he invited us over whenever the lights are on, etc.

All that to say, I think it's about timing and where you are in your life. With so much of life now virtual, you might miss out of engaging with neighbors simply because they are in a different phase of their life.

[tower912]

I did.  Then, over the last 4 years, four families that I considered friends moved.  Needed a bigger house or a smaller house or got a job elsewhere.

[barfolomew]

Last neighborhood in suburban Chicago, knew only two neighbors. All older people, whereas we were young and starting a family. New neighborhood two towns away was selected specifically for the neighborhood, and outside of a few recluses, I know everyone on both our blocks (we're on the corner).

We have a yearly block party, where everyone from retired widows to young childless families attend, which helps. Plus we have a progressive dinner, neighborhood book club, etc., which helps keep the connections between those who might not otherwise interact.

[MU82]

We know our neighbors well.

The woman two houses down is watching our dog while we're in Mexico and she will pick us up at the airport. She also lets us use her pool whenever we want. In return, we watch her cat and take care of her pool when she goes out of town.

Our immediate next-door neighbor is taking our dog for a walk every day we are gone (they love our dog) and we have many pleasant conversations. Our immediate neighbor on the other side has had us over many times for social events - and yes, this is the neighbor who hung the unwanted ornaments in our tree last December and then kindly removed them when we asked her to.

My wife and I have always worked pretty hard at getting to know our neighbors. Life's too short to not have friends - or at least acquaintances - nearby!

(Edited to add the ornaments reference.)

[real chili 83]

We had this shady dude move in the neighborhood a couple of years ago.  Single guy, kinda sketchy.  He moved out about two years ago.  Home prices went up, grass was greener, flowers bloomed, and children were playing in the streets again. 

[Dr. Blackheart]

We had this shady dude move in the neighborhood a couple of years ago.  Single guy, kinda sketchy.  He moved out about two years ago.  Home prices went up, grass was greener, flowers bloomed, and children were playing in the streets again.

The BeeJay Neighborhood Watch ended?

[StillAWarrior]

All that to say, I think it's about timing and where you are in your life. With so much of life now virtual, you might miss out of engaging with neighbors simply because they are in a different phase of their life.

I agree completely.  Which is why I am so surprised to learn that there is a family right across the street that is in the same phase of life as us...or at least close enough that there is overlap between their oldest and our youngest.

When we moved onto the street, we were definitely one of the young couples.  There were a few families with kids that were 8-10 years older than our oldest .  There was one family across the street that had kids the same ages as our two older kids.  We knew them, but not well.  The kids played together occasionally, but never really hit it off that much.  Then people started moving in with younger kids.  We'd notice when they moved in, see the kids, and comment that another family moved in with kids that were too young to play with.  We just never realized that the family right across the street had kids who were the same age as ours.  I'm still shocked.  And a little embarrassed, actually.

[LloydsLegs]

28 years in the same spot in the OP with BPB.  We know all of our neighbors on our block and all of the folks with whom we share the alley.  We have block parties and otherwise socialize with some (some were sitters for our kids, and our kids were sitters for the next gen).  Quite a few have been on the block longer than have we.  Our church and grade school take up part of the block across the street, so only 3 houses on that side. 

Next door neighbor was one when he moved into the house when it was built in 1950.  His mom lived there until she died 7 or 8 years ago at age 90.  He then moved back in, so the same family has been in that house for 68 some years.

Five years ago one Saturday morning, an 85+  year old guy knocked on our door.  His father had built our house in 1936 when he was 10 or 11; his family has moved out in the late 60's and he had not been back since.  We gave him the tour (we had done a big addition 10 years before, so it was fun listening to him re-create the old space), he told us a bunch of stories, and then I walked him over to that same neighbor- though they were 15 years apart, they remembered each other (mostly through siblings who were closer in age) and told stories for another hour.  A few days later we received a hand-written thank you note.  Very cool.

[mu03eng]

Side note, if you aren't following Best of NextDoor on twitter, you are really missing out. And if you don't know what NextDoor is, I'm not sure how you found your way to the internet and/or this particular thread.

[StillAWarrior]

A little more about the "discovery" that I thought was funny.  My daughter's best friend in the world goes to school with this other girl and they are friends (but she didn't know where the girl lived).  My daughter's friend noticed through some social media app that this girl was often on our street (stalker alert).  My daughter and her friend didn't put two and two together, and just commented how strange it was that she was there so often.  They wondered who she might be visiting.  Apparently, detective work is not their strong suit.  Eventually, curiosity got the better of my daughter's friend and she checked the school directory and made the discovery.

My daughter was so excited last night she could barely contain herself.  Unfortunately, the other girl was at some event and didn't get home until after bed time so they couldn't get together.  I was reminded of the euphoric scene from Step Brothers..."So many activities! It's making my head spin how many activities we can do!"

[dgies9156]

Interesting question.

We have lived in our home for 24 years. When we moved in, we were among the youngest folks in the neighborhood. We're now among the oldest. We have some close friends who live behind us who became our friends in no small measure because our son became best friends with their son. He's over at their house so much  that my son knows the code to their garage door and probably has a house key somewhere. He's their fourth son.

They are incredibly nice people and would do anything to assist us -- and vice versa.

By and large though, while we know our neighbors, we have been ostracized by the fact that our children have learning disabilities. The mothers of our neighborhood's upwardly mobile children didn't want their children to socialize with our children and largely turned their backs on me and my wife. It got so bad that one year our nearby neighbors sponsored a block party and invited residents of every home around us except us. We were "conveniently" forgotten.

Suffice to say, we never thought about going to that party again. We did make a stink and made sure people knew we were offended. Not one of my "turn the other cheek" days but even Jesus got fed up once in awhile.

By contrast, we bought a second home on the Treasure Coast of Florida a few years back. There, our neighborhood has monthly get-togethers in the pool area, in season, and probably 70 percent of the residents of the neighborhood show up. We get along and generally enjoy each others' company. Unless your are from Block Island, RI (where  an unusually large concentration of residents in our neighborhood came from), nobody really cares where you came from or who your children are (unless they are at the party or in the neighborhood, in which case they are an object of interest).

The difference between the two neighborhoods is largely social pecking order. In our northern neighborhood, our children were not what people wanted for their children -- as harsh and un-Christianlike as that might sound -- and so they weren't ugly most of the time but they made sure they thought they were better than we  were. Down south, nobody cares. We're in a community where everyone by-and-large is from somewhere else. They want to affiliate and want to pull people in, so they do.

[Marquette Gyros]

Good topic for conversation.

Really depends on where you live...

We were friendly with the folks in our four-flat in the city who all seemed to have kids at different stages...  makes a pretty big difference on who you socialize with. 

Next-door neighbors in Notting Hill were an AirBnB and a woman called "Bunty" whose name my toddler mispronounced to hilarious effect...

Back in the U.S. burbs; our neighbor to the north has lived in his house all 58 years of his life; our neighbors to the south have been in their place for 35 years, so we're a bit of the new kids on the block.   

[Juan Anderson's Mixtape]

Friends with a few neighbors, acquaintances with a few more.  Some coincidences through the years.

One former neighborhood resident and my wife went to college together.  They recognized each other from afar but months went by before we all crossed paths on a walk and confirmed identities.

My first son was born 4 days before our neighbors had their first child, a girl.

My second son was born 3 days after a different set of neighbors had their second child, also a girl.

Both of those families have moved away.

When my wife and I had our third child, a girl, the night nurse woke us up and said, "Hey, I think we're neighbors!"  Sure enough, we recognized her as one of our new neighbors, even though we were barely acquaintances. She's since moved, too.

[Lennys Tap]

dg - your northern neighbors seem like total pr#cks. I would have moved in a heartbeat.

My own experiences were much more positive. I grew up in a neighborhood where people (with possibly a rare exception) knew one another and were friends or at least friendly. I still see a couple of those kids I grew up with. Same held true in the house my wife and I raised our 4 kids. My youngest daughter's best friend to this day was a next door neighbor. A common denominator - both homes were on dead end streets with an open field (baseball, football, hanging out, whatever) at the end.

[Spotcheck Billy]

We live on a fairly busy street do don't really have many folks walking about (no sidewalks either). We also have a unique driveway that is partially shared with a next door neighbor so we've always been on great terms with whomever has lived there (3 families in the last 25+ years).

My other next door neighbor has lived there since we moved in and is a complete jerk most of the time so we avoid him although his wife is very nice and we get along fine.

I have a neighbor across the street that is very nice and often comes over to help in the yard or loan tools and we will have him over for dinner now that his wife passed away.

A funny thing is, I have met many people that when they hear where I live tell me they grew up right next door/across the street etc.

[MomofMUltiples]

I do think it's harder to get to know your neighbors these days.  When I was younger, most of the moms in our neighborhood were homemakers and the kids went to the neighborhood school together and were home all summer.  Our moms got together daily for coffee and our summers were just one big episode of neighborhood games.  Now, things are very different.  More two-worker families, magnet schools, and kids who are more scheduled and don't have time for casual interactions - and living in the North, sometimes you don't see your neighbors all winter.  About 15 years ago, we were the first family to move into a neighborhood that was undergoing transition - so the youngest kid in the neighborhood was about 10 years older than my oldest kid.  By the time we moved out 3 years ago, my youngest kids were in college and the neighborhood was crawling with 2-10 year olds.  We never saw our neighbors at school events or other places, and I only knew a few of them by name.

In our new neighborhood, there is much more opportunity for us to interact with our neighbors.  St. Louis Park gives each neighborhood association a certain amount of money each year (I think around $2000) to sponsor neighborhood events - so we have lots of things like progressive dinners, movies in the park, neighborhood night out with live music, etc.  Last year we did a huge landscaping project and put in a big outdoor kitchen and a fire rock and surrounded our hot tub with a deck.  So now when the weather is good we tend to be gathering place for our near neighbors and we have pot lucks on Friday nights in the summer.  I would say I know these neighbors much better than the ones in my two previous neighborhoods.  I like it much better this way.

[dgies9156]

dg - your northern neighbors seem like total pr#cks. I would have moved in a heartbeat.

It was a lot harder on my wife than it was on me. She is a freelancer who has worked from home for more than 10 years. Nobody in our neighborhood had any idea of the conditions from which our children came (abandoned in orphanages in the former Soviet Union) or the challenges they and we had to overcome. They whispered about my wife's mothering ability and thought our children would be more successful if she was more like them.

There is good news on two fronts. First, one of my children just received her BA last Saturday, having learned to learn even with a serious learning issue (Dean's List her senior year). Second, our community in Florida is wonderful. My wife has found more friends since we began living there in the winter two years ago (I work remotely from December to May) and more social activities not involving MU basketball than she found in more than three decades living in the Midwest.

The only downside to Florida is that it's a long way to a Warrior basketball game.

[MomofMUltiples]

Dgies - Congrats on your daughter's graduation.  Having raised a child who had mental illness, I can sympathize with what your wife went through.  I'm glad you found a better landing spot.

[dgies9156]

Dgies - Congrats on your daughter's graduation.  Having raised a child who had mental illness, I can sympathize with what your wife went through.  I'm glad you found a better landing spot.

Thank you. My daughter is going to do very well in her life and we're incredibly proud! She's about a tough as they come.

It really can be hard and I can feel for what you faced.

Thank you again!

[mu03eng]

I do think it's harder to get to know your neighbors these days.  When I was younger, most of the moms in our neighborhood were homemakers and the kids went to the neighborhood school together and were home all summer.  Our moms got together daily for coffee and our summers were just one big episode of neighborhood games.  Now, things are very different.  More two-worker families, magnet schools, and kids who are more scheduled and don't have time for casual interactions - and living in the North, sometimes you don't see your neighbors all winter.  About 15 years ago, we were the first family to move into a neighborhood that was undergoing transition - so the youngest kid in the neighborhood was about 10 years older than my oldest kid.  By the time we moved out 3 years ago, my youngest kids were in college and the neighborhood was crawling with 2-10 year olds.  We never saw our neighbors at school events or other places, and I only knew a few of them by name.

The bolded is something I worry about with my son. Kids are so damn structured today that I feel that they don't learn how to adapt and interact with new people independently. Not to go all "back in my day it was better" but I remember very fondly in my childhood meeting new kids in the neighborhood all the time and all the outdoor exploring and pick-up games that happened. Hell, in the summer I was usually gone from 9 in the morning until at least 8 at night playing games or riding bikes or swimming at the local pool, etc unless we decided to stop by our house to make my mom feed us all for lunch/dinner. I'm sure the neighborhood moms knew where we were and were reporting in to each other but unless we needed to get taken somewhere I'm not sure my parents knew where I was at any given point.

Maybe now is better with all the risks out there but learning to figure it out on my own was really formative for me.

[naginiF]

Side note, if you aren't following Best of NextDoor on twitter, you are really missing out. And if you don't know what NextDoor is, I'm not sure how you found your way to the internet and/or this particular thread.

You sir, are a true hero.  Thank you for bringing this to me - our NextDoor is crazy and i didn't know i needed more, but i do.

The bolded is something I worry about with my son. Kids are so damn structured today that I feel that they don't learn how to adapt and interact with new people independently.

One thing that has helped our kids out in this regard is we purposely put them on sports teams that have kids from different schools.  We have a crap public school system so every kid in our neighborhood goes to one of 9(ish) private schools.  Their baseball teams are comprised of a mix of those schools so they have neighborhood friends that bring together different schools.  Their basketball teams are city league teams so they have friends from different areas.  As a result they have friends from a vast social spectrum. 

to the OP - we are friendly but not close to our immediate neighbors no block parties or dinner parties.  i even have a Marquette grad across the street, who graduated 5 years before me, and we've NEVER watched a game together.  I really like him and his wife but we don't have much in common - they are on their second marriage with kids out of college and our oldest is in 5th.

[Billy Hoyle]

A few. Mainly we know the dogs and their people ("hey, it's Wilson and his owner, Mike"). Once met MU grad in the building.....15 years younger. Couldn’t identify her now.  We once knew one neighbor but she moved and have no idea who the new person is. Just the way it is these days.

[DegenerateDish]

We bought new construction in ‘05, about half the neighborhood has turned over, 90% of our neighbors are almost exactly the same family make up as us (3 kids, between ages 9 and 3). 4 kids on our street of 14 homes share April 7 as their birthday (my twins included). Oddly, all (except my twins) are a year apart.

There’s one older couple (mid 70’s) that live on our block. The woman walks her dog past our house every day, and if my wife or I see her, we say hi. The husband is rarely seen. About 5 years ago on Halloween, the older woman was walking alone outside, my wife asked her if she was going to be giving out candy, and she said “probably not, it’s too hard since he just died”. We went to a neighborhood Halloween party that night, and my wife was telling everyone that the older ladies husband had died. The neighbors immediately adjacent to the older couples house were shocked “we just saw him yesterday!”. My wife said “we’ll, he’s dead”.

Next day my wife gets a text from two different neighbors  “we just saw her husband getting mail, he’s very much alive”. It turned out the dog had died. Ever since I call him Lazarus when my wife and I see him, and I make fun of her for trying to off our elderly neighbor. He’s still to this day very much alive.

[WarriorDad]

Some of our neighbors we know very well, others just a wave if we see them.  Our next door neighbor died a number of years ago, good man.  The family that moved in is nice, but quiet and keep to themselves.  Folks across the street we are close with for 15 years.

[WarriorFan]

I live in an apartment block.  We know our next door neighbors who are apparently unemployed and going broke and on the monthly "name and shame" list for not paying bills, and the other apartment on our floor which is a single lady who leaves the apartment at 9pm every evening all dressed up and full of perfume and gets dropped off early morning.  Her "Uncle" visits occasionally.  Oh, and the families above and below who wake us up in the middle of the night on weekends with 1000 decibel gaming and drunken fights.

Sometimes it's better not to know your neighbors...

[Jay Bee]

Hooking up with neighbors can be good & bad. Awkward riding the elevator with a chick, and in steps a young tender from floor 21 that you hooked up with a few days ago.

ZFB has dated several men within his trailer park

[jsglow]

The bolded is something I worry about with my son. Kids are so damn structured today that I feel that they don't learn how to adapt and interact with new people independently. Not to go all "back in my day it was better" but I remember very fondly in my childhood meeting new kids in the neighborhood all the time and all the outdoor exploring and pick-up games that happened. Hell, in the summer I was usually gone from 9 in the morning until at least 8 at night playing games or riding bikes or swimming at the local pool, etc unless we decided to stop by our house to make my mom feed us all for lunch/dinner. I'm sure the neighborhood moms knew where we were and were reporting in to each other but unless we needed to get taken somewhere I'm not sure my parents knew where I was at any given point.

Maybe now is better with all the risks out there but learning to figure it out on my own was really formative for me.

It's true Eng.  Around 5:30p every evening my dad would walk about 20 yards from the front door to the corner of the schoolyard and holler 'SUPPER!'  Also, when I was a kid everything cool was outside.  Now it's the opposite.  Work hard to make #nored as independent as possible.

[StillAWarrior]

There’s one older couple (mid 70’s) that live on our block. The woman walks her dog past our house every day, and if my wife or I see her, we say hi. The husband is rarely seen. About 5 years ago on Halloween, the older woman was walking alone outside, my wife asked her if she was going to be giving out candy, and she said “probably not, it’s too hard since he just died”. We went to a neighborhood Halloween party that night, and my wife was telling everyone that the older ladies husband had died. The neighbors immediately adjacent to the older couples house were shocked “we just saw him yesterday!”. My wife said “we’ll, he’s dead”.

Next day my wife gets a text from two different neighbors  “we just saw her husband getting mail, he’s very much alive”. It turned out the dog had died. Ever since I call him Lazarus when my wife and I see him, and I make fun of her for trying to off our elderly neighbor. He’s still to this day very much alive.

Our neighbor to the south passed away a couple of winters ago, and nobody in the neighborhood knew.  We often went months without seeing him -- particularly in the winter -- so nobody noticed his absence.  Unfortunately, his widow never said anything and nobody realized.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Our neighbor to the south passed away a couple of winters ago, and nobody in the neighborhood knew.  We often went months without seeing him -- particularly in the winter -- so nobody noticed his absence.  Unfortunately, his widow never said anything and nobody realized.

the smell of the cadaver wasn't a giveaway?

[mu_hilltopper]

I imagine this also depends on gender.

We've lived on our block of 40 homes for 20 years now, all 40' apart.

I could name ~20 people on the block.  My wife could name 100. 

[Jay Bee]

I imagine this also depends on gender.

We've lived on our block of 40 homes for 20 years now, all 40' apart.

I could name ~20 people on the block.  My wife could name 100.

We all da same @1na? #Becky2GNBA

[4everwarriors]

Eye don't wanna name drop da folks 'round me. Respect da privacy, hey?

[Juan Anderson's Mixtape]

I imagine this also depends on gender.

We've lived on our block of 40 homes for 20 years now, all 40' apart.

I could name ~20 people on the block.  My wife could name 100.

It's personality driven, not gender specific.  My Dad is the kind of person who knows everybody in town while my Mom hardly knows anybody.

[JWags85]

Even more weird when you live in a small subdivision.  My parents moved into a new house about a decade ago.  Its only 9 lots, all about an acre and a half on a drive leading to a cul de sac.  Being as it was all developed and built by the same builder, there is a homeowners association and semi annual get togethers.

 The cul de sac in the back has 6 lots, one of which remains empty, and the one of the houses is the builder's elderly parents who reside in Arizona probably 9 months a year.  So there are 4 houses back there including my parents.

All 3 of the other remaining 4 houses are doctors at various North Shore MKE hospitals.  My parents were very friendly with the neighbors at the house next to theirs and have dinner probably quarterly with another of the families. 

The other family is the most bizarrely anti-social group Ive ever seen.  The doctor will jog in the morning and literally looks the other way if you drive by.  His wife walks their golden lab, who is one of the friendliest animals ive ever seen, each morning off leash and when Sunny runs up to say hi, there's maybe a 20% chance she slows and says good morning, usually just cruises along by.  Keeping to yourself is one thing, but you built a 1MM+ home, new construction.  If you hated interacting with people so much, surely you could have found some land where you didn't have to be bothered.

Very odd for my parents coming from our previous neighborhood where neighbors kids would literally play on each others swingsets, even if your kids weren't out or home, cause permission had been granted previously and yards became one big connected playzone each summer.

[WarriorDad]

It's personality driven, not gender specific.  My Dad is the kind of person who knows everybody in town while my Mom hardly knows anybody.

^^^^  This right here.  This is the correct answer ^^^^^

[JamilJaeJamailJrJuan]

I bought a house like 2 years ago and in a pretty typical 1950s era development.  House on either side of me, and another that backs up to my backyard. 

I've met the people on either side, but one family is in their late 30s/early 40s with 2 middle school aged kids.  Nice people, but we have literally nothing in common, in addition the 10-15 year age gap.

When we first moved in, the couple on the other side were preparing to put their house for sale.  It sold in 1 day and they moved within 3 weeks of us moving in.  It's too bad, because they seemed like people my fiance and I would get along great with.  Unfortunately the couple that bought that house is very bizarre and we've had very little interaction since they first moved in. They live action Harry Potter role playing the backyard....

A middle aged women lives in the house behind me.  Found out its actually her parents house who moved back out to the country a decade or s oago.  Had a nice chat with the old man one weekend when he was in town - he was telling me about the original owner of my house.  I've only seen the women who lives there a handful of times 2 years. 

Love my house and location, but definitely wish the neighbors were fun people to hang with.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I bought a house like 2 years ago and in a pretty typical 1950s era development.  House on either side of me, and another that backs up to my backyard. 

I've met the people on either side, but one family is in their late 30s/early 40s with 2 middle school aged kids.  Nice people, but we have literally nothing in common, in addition the 10-15 year age gap.

When we first moved in, the couple on the other side were preparing to put their house for sale.  It sold in 1 day and they moved within 3 weeks of us moving in.  It's too bad, because they seemed like people my fiance and I would get along great with.  Unfortunately the couple that bought that house is very bizarre and we've had very little interaction since they first moved in. They live action Harry Potter role playing the backyard....

A middle aged women lives in the house behind me.  Found out its actually her parents house who moved back out to the country a decade or s oago.  Had a nice chat with the old man one weekend when he was in town - he was telling me about the original owner of my house.  I've only seen the women who lives there a handful of times 2 years. 

Love my house and location, but definitely wish the neighbors were fun people to hang with.

eat some shrooms and go play Voldemort.  you old stick in the mud.

[JamilJaeJamailJrJuan]

eat some shrooms and go play Voldemort.  you old stick in the mud.

That'd probably would it would take to get me LARPing in my backyard. 

[StillAWarrior]

It took a while because both girls have busy and conflicting schedules, but the neighbor girl came over last night.  Yeah...it's pretty clear we're going to be seeing a lot of her.

[Dr. Blackheart]

eat some shrooms and go play Voldemort.  you old stick in the mud.

There is nothing like a good game of Quidditch all liquored up from the tailgating.

[NorthernDancerColt]

There is nothing like a good game of Quidditch all liquored up from the tailgating.

Gryffindor won the 5th at Santa Anita at 15-1 last Sunday. I had a nice Win wager, but @#%!'d up the Pick5.

[UWW2MU]

When we first moved in, the couple on the other side were preparing to put their house for sale.  It sold in 1 day and they moved within 3 weeks of us moving in.  It's too bad, because they seemed like people my fiance and I would get along great with.  Unfortunately the couple that bought that house is very bizarre and we've had very little interaction since they first moved in. They live action Harry Potter role playing the backyard....

That. Is. Amazing. 

So much more interesting than my neighbor that I only see when he's out struggling to cut his grass with his corded electric lawn mower.  I *wish* I could get that much entertainment from my neighbors.

You definitely need to liquor yourself up one day and go join them and then report back.     Just think of it as learning/experiencing a different culture.  An anthropological experiment?     Who knows, maybe you'll have such a great time that you join the local LARPing circuit!