Male Urinal Etiquette Game: Report Your Score

[Eldon]

http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game.html

I scored a 2/6.  In other words, you better hope I never enter the bathroom if you are already there.

[keefe]

http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game.html

I scored a 2/6.  In other words, you better hope I never enter the bathroom if you are already there.

6 for 6.

20 years in a homophobic all-male world makes some situations self-evident.

[mu03eng]

Reminds me of an old navy joke. Sailor and Marine walk up to the urinals in the head at the same time and do their business. Marine wraps up first and heads to the sink to wash his hands. Sailor finishes and heads to the door to leave. The Marine can't let this breach in decorum go, "hey sailor, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we use the bathroom."

"In the navy, they teach us not to pee on our hands." {Hatch closes}

[StillAWarrior]

Reminds me of an old navy joke. Sailor and Marine walk up to the urinals in the head at the same time and do their business. Marine wraps up first and heads to the sink to wash his hands. Sailor finishes and heads to the door to leave. The Marine can't let this breach in decorum go, "hey sailor, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we use the bathroom."

"In the navy, they teach us not to pee on our hands." {Hatch closes}

Over the years I've heard this joke told so many different ways that I can't keep count.  I specifically recall both Notre Dame and Harvard being the butt of this joke.  It really works in all situations.

5/6

[Eldon]

6 for 6.

20 years in a homophobic all-male world makes some situations self-evident.

Dude, you even got number 6?  You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.  It would be an honor to urinate several stalls away from you.

[keefe]

Dude, you even got number 6?  You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.  It would be an honor to urinate several stalls away from you.

Life in AFSOC teaches a man many invaluable life skills.

Reminds me that in my former world anyone who saddles up at the adjacent urinal is immediately tagged as a "Meat Gazer"

[jsglow]

5/6.  At my age I can't bail and come back later.

[🏀]

5/6.  At my age I can't bail and come back later.

Same, but not age. You gotta get pissing to beat the line to the Taphouse at halftime.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

5/6.  and my wang is long enough that I don't piss on my hands.

[Skatastrophy]

Reminds me of an old navy joke. Sailor and Marine A Marquette grad, a Notre Dame grad, and a Wisconsin grad walk up to the urinals in the head at the same time and do their business. Marine wraps The Wisconsin grad & the Notre Dame grads wrap up first and heads to the sink to wash their hands. Sailor The Marquette grad finishes and heads to the door to leave. The Marine The Wisconsin grad can't let this breach in decorum go, "hey sailor, in the marines at Madison they teach us to wash our hands after we use the bathroom." The Notre Dame grad chimes in, "At Notre Dame they teach us to wash all the way up to our elbows."

The Marquette grad responds, "In the navyAt MU, they teach us not to pee on our hands." {Hatch closes}

Edited for relevance.

[77ncaachamps]

4/6.

The last one is tricky...or for the non-confident, gun shy.

[Blackhat]

I usually attempt swirls then thrust my hips like I'm f.cking Adrianna Grande. 

Or step 5 ft back pissing as hard as I can hoping the spray side swipes someone else.

[keefe]

4/6.

The last one is tricky...or for the non-confident, gun shy.

Champ

It always comes down to maintaining Situational Awareness. Never ever put yourself in a situation you can't get out of. Scenario Six is a bad multi-fighter environment from which there is no positive end game. Always assess the situation and bug out before committing. Better to live and fight another day.   

[HouWarrior]

"That's why it's called a pissing contest when two men stake out their turf,"....

Bobby Axelrod,
"Billions"
Showtime
S 1, Ep 1

[rocket surgeon]

Haven't been able to open it up on my iPad but I'll bet if some girl dab that first lip stick off on a tissue and tro it in there for target practice, I could probably give the sniper a little competition.

[CTWarrior]

5/6.  At my age I can't bail and come back later.

Same for me for same reason.

[Eldon]

A colleague of mine tipped me off to a game theoretic analysis of male urinal choice:

The blog post
https://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/

The working paper that it's from (complete with actual proofs)
http://repec.rwi-essen.de/files/REP_11_293.pdf





So, if you want people to pack efficiently into your urinals, there should be 3, 5, 9, 17, or 33 of them, and if you want to take advantage of the protocol to maximize awkwardness, there should be 4, 7, 13, or 25 of them.

[muwarrior69]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4occ3JXVqJ0

I wanted to make sure Chick felt included.

[warriorchick]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4occ3JXVqJ0

I wanted to make sure Chick felt included.

I stopped watching the video as soon as I saw the rules were being presented by a man.

We don't need bathroom rules.  Women, as a general rule, aren't disgusting slobs, and we don't think assume that a woman standing next to us in the bathroom is doing so just to check out our junk.

[Benny B]

I stopped watching the video as soon as I saw the rules were being presented by a man.

We don't need bathroom rules.  Women, as a general rule, aren't disgusting slobs, and we don't think assume that a woman standing next to us in the bathroom is doing so just to check out our junk.

As someone whose summer job in high school entailed cleaning the restrooms every morning, I can attest that women trash public restrooms way worse than men.

[keefe]

Reminds me of an old navy joke. Sailor and Marine walk up to the urinals in the head at the same time and do their business. Marine wraps up first and heads to the sink to wash his hands. Sailor finishes and heads to the door to leave. The Marine can't let this breach in decorum go, "hey sailor, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we use the bathroom."

"In the navy, they teach us not to pee on our hands." {Hatch closes}

Studly A 10 driver walks into the latrine at NAS P-Cola where an F 18 puke is already doing his business. As the A 10 driver unreels his fire hose the wimpy F 18 guy comments that the water is both cold and deep. The Warthog dude replies, "Not really. It's summer in Australia..."   

[4everwarriors]

I hope da women here don't piss all over da seat, hey?

[ChitownSpaceForRent]

As someone whose summer job in high school entailed cleaning the restrooms every morning, I can attest that women trash public restrooms way worse than men.

So much truth. At the restaurant I worked at cleaning the women's bathroom at the end of the night was so much worse than the men's.

[Juan Anderson's Mixtape]

we don't think assume that a woman standing next to us in the bathroom is doing so just to check out our junk.

So you've obviously have never been to North Carolina. [color]

[Benny B]

I hope da women here don't piss all over da seat, hey?

That's easy... there's a brush for that.  And it's not the liquid matter that makes a bathroom disgusting, not to mention urine is sterile (or at least it is before you join the Air Force).

[WellsstreetWanderer]

wonder what you all would do at the troughs at Dodger Stadium

[muwarrior69]

wonder what you all would do at the troughs at Dodger Stadium

Don't they have separate facilities for SF Giant fans?

[WI inferiority Complexes]

As someone whose summer job in high school entailed cleaning the restrooms every morning, I can attest that women trash public restrooms way worse than men.

+1000

I worked maintenance for a high school district during summers.  For the 3 weeks in between MU ending and high school ending, I had to clean student-used bathrooms.  We would rock-paper-scissors to see who had to clean the women's.

[WellsstreetWanderer]

Don't they have separate facilities for SF Giant fans?

  They' re more comfortable in the stalls

[Juan Anderson's Mixtape]

wonder what you all would do at the troughs at Dodger Stadium

Same as I did at the Metrodome troughs.  Look straight ahead, do my business, wash hands, leave.

[mr.MUskie]

That's easy... there's a brush for that.  And it's not the liquid matter that makes a bathroom disgusting, not to mention urine is sterile (or at least it is before you join the Air Force).

http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/new-research-answers-whether-urine-really-sterile