Kids Specializing in Sports Earlier?

[StillAWarrior]

In a thread on Hangin' at the Al, Ners posted:

In another thread you mentioned your boy was a pretty good basketball player - are you steering him toward focusing/specializing in basketball alone - so as to maximize his chances to be able to play at the high school/college level?  Probably a tough call to make as a parent - guess it is probably a choice best left ato a kid - but from everything I've seen...kids do tend to be specializing now more than ever.

This wasn't relevant to that topic, so I thought I'd create a new thread on the Superbar.

This is a tough call, and I'd be interested in hearing what others think about it.  Surely the posters on this board have kids who have played at all levels of youth sports, and maybe there's some good advice to be found here.  Are there any parents on here who have had either really good or really bad experiences?

I've got a son who's heading to high school next year and will probably need to start specializing more than he has in the past (i.e., no more football and soccer at the same time).  He's really resisted specializing in the past.  My daughter is a couple of years younger but is really starting to focus on volleyball and softball (pitching).  She's pretty good and is getting some really cool opportunities that my son never got (e.g., her VB team is playing tournaments in MD, KY and MO this year -- and maybe GA).  I'm scared to death we're going to burn her out, but it's a wonderful opportunity and she seems to love it.  Two different approaches with two kids.  I'm not sure if either is better than the other.  I'd love to hear what others are thinking and have experienced.

[Goose]

Warrior---We went thru this several years ago with our daughter. She was excellent hockey and soccer player and ultimately chose soccer. It was hard choice but there was no chance for compete at Varsity level in soccer without 12 month commitment. It is kind of sad to make the kids make a choice but between the competition, cost and time involved we felt she needed to make a choice.

She is now a soph in high school and I think happy with her choice. That said I wish the ports world let kids play everything like when I was a kid. Good luck with her sports!!

[NersEllenson]

I can't speak from a parental standpoint, but I do know from many friends, colleagues, acquaintences -at least here in the Dallas area - that specialization is pretty much starting for MOST kids by 6th/7th grade at the latest.  Think that is kind of sad in some ways, but to be able to play at even a varsity level in 5A ball in Texas (our largest school division - schools generally with 2,000-5,000 students), kids almost have to specialize to make a varsity team.

As Goose mentions in his post, sports are becoming a year round endeavor/commitment with Select/AAU teams...hard to make time for 2 sports..

[GGGG]

My kids went to a smaller high school.  The eldest was a three sport athlete...the second is a two sport athlete.  Neither had any chance for a college athletic scholarship so I encouraged them to be well rounded and concentrate on their academics because there are many more opportunities for academic scholarships than there are athletic ones.

Now I know that if they went to huge high schools, that they would have had to specialize earlier.

[Goose]

Good point Sultan. My daughter plays for elite high school program which made the need to specialize happen earlier than we wanted. Sad part is though she will be 4 year varsity player I do not think college schollie will be coming here way. Her goal is to walk on to MU soccer.

[StillAWarrior]

My kids went to a smaller high school.  The eldest was a three sport athlete...the second is a two sport athlete.  Neither had any chance for a college athletic scholarship so I encouraged them to be well rounded and concentrate on their academics because there are many more opportunities for academic scholarships than there are athletic ones.

Now I know that if they went to huge high schools, that they would have had to specialize earlier.

One of the factors my son considered in choosing a high school is that if he went to the "top" Catholic school here, his sports career would likely be over -- at least for inter-scholastic sports.  Last year they had 90 boys try out for freshman basketball.  With nearly 500 boys per class, it's very, very difficult to make a team (although the football team does not cut players).  He chose a smaller high school if he goes private (he's still considering our public school).  It's certainly not a given that he will play varsity sports there, but he's got a realistic shot if he works hard. 

[reinko]

Y'all aren't raising switch hitting catchers, that also punt a football 60 yds?       

[mu-rara]

I don't like the specialization, because so few of these kids will play D1 in any sport, much less for money.  It is expected by coaches at the varsity level. 

One of the girls my daughter grew up with was probably the best all around female athlete in her class.  She decided that she would play three sports, because she liked to play, and was good enough to contribute in all three.  The coaches kind of recruited over her, because they perceived a lack of commitment.  Some of these HS coaches think they are Lombardi / McGuire / Stengel.   

[jesmu84]

Just my 2 cents, based on personal experience..

I graduated high school in 2003 and played 3 sports (4 in junior high) as well was participated in both vocal and instrumental music. In hindsight, I would not have changed a thing. I am pretty positive that if I had specialized I would have been able to get a scholie for any of the above, but I actually enjoyed being really well-rounded and having been "good not great" in just about everything. It was much easier to do, like others have pointed out, due to the fact that my school was only about 650 kids.

When I have kids, not sure what I'll do... I imagine it's different for every child/parent and situation.  anyone have advice on how to make that decision when the time comes?

[StillAWarrior]

One of the girls my daughter grew up with was probably the best all around female athlete in her class.  She decided that she would play three sports, because she liked to play, and was good enough to contribute in all three.  The coaches kind of recruited over her, because they perceived a lack of commitment.

That's a shame.  Hopefully that won't happen to our daughter.  I might be a little less likely, because she really doesn't like too many sports.  She gave up soccer years ago because she didn't like it.  She also doesn't like basketball much (although she still plays).  But, she really likes volleyball and she really likes pitching.  So far, none of her coaches are pushing her too hard to choose. but she's still young.  I suspect in HS there will be a lot more pressure.

[StillAWarrior]

Just my 2 cents, based on personal experience..

I graduated high school in 2003 and played 3 sports (4 in junior high) as well was participated in both vocal and instrumental music. In hindsight, I would not have changed a thing. I am pretty positive that if I had specialized I would have been able to get a scholie for any of the above, but I actually enjoyed being really well-rounded and having been "good not great" in just about everything. It was much easier to do, like others have pointed out, due to the fact that my school was only about 650 kids.

I had a similar experience, although I doubt I could have gotten a scholarship even if I'd specialized.  I tried almost everything and was better than average (although certainly not great) at most.  I really enjoyed it.

When I have kids, not sure what I'll do... I imagine it's different for every child/parent and situation.  anyone have advice on how to make that decision when the time comes?

It really is different for each kid.  My son eats, sleeps and breathes his sports.  He's good, but he works very, very hard for everything.  His achievements are 90% work/determination and 10% God-given ability.  My oldest daughter is very good at everything she tries; God-given ability (it doesn't hurt that she's very tall and left-handed).  She also works hard, but she's got a huge head start.  She's got lots of opportunities and coaches calling our house asking us to let her play for them.  As a parent who really tries to be fair, I struggle with giving her opportunities that my son has never had (and probably will never have).  So far, he's really her biggest fan and is looking forward to some of the trips with her, but I think it's hard for him.  He asked if he could look for a soccer program that is similar to the volleyball program she's in, but the reality is he probably couldn't compete at that level.

We're still trying to figure out our two younger daughters.  My middle daughter is less interested in sports than the others, but is very musically inclined.  We're moving in that direction with her.  My youngest is still a mystery.

Parenthood...never a dull moment.

[GGGG]

When I have kids, not sure what I'll do... I imagine it's different for every child/parent and situation.  anyone have advice on how to make that decision when the time comes?

Simple.  As long as they are enjoying themselves, let them do it.  My eldest son would play basketball 12 months a year.  Everything the coach asked him to do in the off-season, he did.  He played a little AAU ball...never complained...always had fun.  My second son would play about four-six months a year and sat on the bench during high school.  He enjoyed just being on the team and it didn't bother him too much that he didn't play.  He was basically the team "jokester" who would lighten the mood during practice, etc. 

Also don't make your dreams your expectations.  IOW, don't push them to do sports because you want them to.  We always told our kids that we *want* you to be active in something...sports, music, drama, student organizations, etc...but not specifically basketball or any other sport.  We also told them that if they are going to do something, that they need to do it.  Practice hard, play hard, work hard.  Don't half-ass it.

Too many parents are too emotionally invested in what their kids do.  Hell, when I was a kid it was more often than not that my parents were not at my games.  I would bike to the park in little league, play my game, go home and tell my parents what happened.  They'd say "That's nice.  Did you have fun?" and that would be about it.  Sometimes I wish we still lived those days.

Also, there is no room for the late bloomer anymore.  If kids aren't into the travel teams in middle school for instance, the chances of them playing high school basketball are basically nil.

[MerrittsMustache]

Just my 2 cents, based on personal experience..

I graduated high school in 2003 and played 3 sports (4 in junior high) as well was participated in both vocal and instrumental music. In hindsight, I would not have changed a thing. I am pretty positive that if I had specialized I would have been able to get a scholie for any of the above, but I actually enjoyed being really well-rounded and having been "good not great" in just about everything. It was much easier to do, like others have pointed out, due to the fact that my school was only about 650 kids.

I have a somewhat similar story. Graduated HS in 1998 from a school of about 1000 kids and played 3 sports all 4 years. Football was my best sport and I was offered scholarships by some smallish colleges (nothing D1). My coach had tried to convince me to focus on only football after my sophomore year. After talking it over with my parents, I chose not to because, quite simply, I had too much fun playing basketball and baseball.

In retrospect, maybe if I had focused on football I would have earned a D1 scholarship...but probably not. Plus, I would have missed out on the enjoyment of being a high school kid (not to mention my MU experience). I also skipped a grade so I was very young for my class (turned 18 in November of my freshman year). Needless to say, my parents screwed me over from a young age!

Anyway, I have a couple little ones now and I can't even imagine what the youth sports landscape will be like when they're 15...or even when they're 6. Quite frankly, it scares me.

[StillAWarrior]

Anyway, I have a couple little ones now and I can't even imagine what the youth sports landscape will be like when they're 15...or even when they're 6. Quite frankly, it scares me.

And that's the reason I started the thread.  With each decision we make, I hope we're doing the right thing.  At the end of the day, though, I think Sultan has it right:  are they enjoying themselves.  I always ask them if they had fun.  Fortunately, so far, they've always answered yes.  I think (hope) they're telling me the truth and not what they think I want to hear.

[nyg]

My son was one of the tallest in his classes, going back to middle school.  The problem was that his growth effected his coordination and never came around until high school.  He loved playing basketball and soccer, but lets just say his attributes were only his devotion and attitude.  I let him play both sports, cheered him on like a father should and he had a blast. He went to a private Catholic High School and in his sophomore year, the b-ball coach passed him in the hall and noticed his height, which was about 6ft 4.  He went to the tryouts, but a recent transfer from a Baltimore inner city high school had arrived and my son had no chance.  It was Rudy Gay.

Another tidbit about sports commitment was when my son was in 6th and 7th grade, he played basketball in the Bowie, Md. Boys and Girls Club.  I would drop him off at practice and then pick him up so I never saw his team.  At the first game, I saw he had a teamate named Austin, who was without a doubt the most dominate child basketball player on the court.  It was not even close in ability, not only on his team, but the entire league. I never caught the kid's last name and a few years later when my son was in high school, we talked about basketball and his time in the Bowie league.  I said something like, "Remember that one kid?" and he said Oh Yeah, Austin.  My son advised Austin had played on the travel team and was now at Dematha High School.  He said he was so good that his parents held him back a year in order to gain experience and be bigger than the other kids.  Turns out his last name was Freeman, Austin Freeman.  He became a McDonalds AA and of course is at Georgetown.  So even as a 6th grader, you could see he was well above all the others and his parents committed in some way to ensure his ability was rewarded, even though some would say holding back was too extreme.  But if your child had that ability, would one do the same.  

 

[GGGG]

NYG you are correct.  The best players my son played against in middle school were ridiculously dominant at that level...and are both at D2 schools now.

[MerrittsMustache]

My son advised Austin had played on the travel team and was now at Dematha High School.  He said he was so good that his parents held him back a year in order to gain experience and be bigger than the other kids.  Turns out his last name was Freeman, Austin Freeman.  He became a McDonalds AA and of course is at Georgetown.  So even as a 6th grader, you could see he was well above all the others and his parents committed in some way to ensure his ability was rewarded, even though some would say holding back was too extreme.  But if your child had that ability, would one do the same.  

The problem is that some parents hold their kid back believing that he is an Austin when he's clearly not. A majority of the "star athletes" who I played against in middle school were no where to be found on the HS varsity teams a few years later. The one big exception was a kid who was head and shoulders (literally and figurately) above everyone else as a youth. He eventually went on to get a full ride to play LB/DE at Michigan State. He just wasn't "wired" like the rest of us.

Personally, I feel like holding a kid back to help him be bigger and stronger doesn't really matter in the long-run from an athletics standpoint. If Austin Freeman was never held back, he still would have had tremendous talent and likely still would have been an All-American who is now playing major D1 basketball. I could have been held back to the point where I was 17 and playing against 6th graders and it wasn't going to make me an NBA basketball player.

[StillAWarrior]

I could have been held back to the point where I was 17 and playing against 6th graders and it wasn't going to make me an NBA basketball player.

True, but you would have kicked some serious ass in those 6th grade games.  The stuff of legends.

[MerrittsMustache]

True, but you would have kicked some serious ass in those 6th grade games.  The stuff of legends.

And I would have been very popular as a HS sophomore who could legally buy booze.

[Lennys Tap]

I'm sorry to sound like a grumpy old man, but I hate it that coaches try to coerce kids into specializing in one sport at an early age. Eventually the realities of competition will do that to all but the elite high school athletes anyway, but expecting 10,11, or 12 year old kids to do anything year round saps the joy out of sport. Sports tracked the seasons for me growing up, and just when things started getting a little tedious along came the excitement of putting away one set of equipment and breaking out another. There are times to "move on" and make tough choices in life - it's an integral part of growing up. But 5th, 6th, 7th or even 8th grade is too early to stop playing the games you love.

[mu-rara]

Had a high school friend, tall for the times.  (6'3" back when you could play center at 6'3")

Nothing special in mid school or early high school.  Didn't play much as HS junior.  Senior year he comes out of nowhere to lead the conference in scoring, and goes on to a great D3 hoops career.  I think he is still a top 10 career scorer 20 some years later.

Chances of that happening today.....close to 0