Top 10 College basketball announcers 10-6

[KipsBayEagle]

Getting bored, figured i'd post something a little different.  I mentioned before about the problem with long posts and how it made hard to correct spelling mistakes so please be forgiving.

10.  Digger Phelps-  True Digger Phelps story:  when college gameday was at Marquette, one of the more exciting experiences at Marquette while i was there, Digger Phelps almost started a riot.  Students wake up at 3:30 in the morning on Saturday to walk in sub zero degree temperature to witness an event that has never happened in marquette's history (love or hate Tom crean, he is the reason we got that college gameday)  For those that are unaware of how college gameday works, they pre record the show at 5 30 in the morning, with the students filling up about a quarter of the stadium behind the the gameday table to make it look like it is full.  For the hour that we were waiting for gameday to start, Digger Phelps had us practice cheering.  I kid you not.  The first 5 times we were excited, thought he was almost trying to get the crown pumped.  Than after take 18 or something, people started to wonder why in the hell we were practicing cheering.  Some people were starting to lose their voice, others were sort of dumbfounding, many were starting to get pissed off.  You could hear the murmuring growing and growing, and by take 5 million, some students were yelling at others to shut up with complaining, because it was getting to the point where people were afraid that we would piss of college gameday and they would never comeback.  I think, at least among the Marquette fans of my generation, this is where hatred for Digger Phelps really started.  I started to pay more attention to Digger Phelps commentary, and i began to realize his holy trinity of doucheness.  The father would be his highlighter tie combinations, the son would be his Notre Dame elitisim, and the third is his ball stroking of Bob Knight.  maybe I am inherently biased in my op ed of Digger phelps, but I am sorry, its just too much.

9.  Bill Rafterey/Jay Bilas-  I used to love this combination as much as everyone else.  When they started coomenting games together a few years back, they were almost the perfect combination of facts, insight, and humor.  Paired along with that bald guy whose name I can't remember, it seemed like ESPN finally had itself a reral good college basketball crew.  Then, it started to go dfown a different road.  Facts and analysis began to take a back seat to the playful, almost too playful banter between Bilas and raffeftery.  The dialogue used to go something like this:  bald guy-  The point guard from wake brings the ball up court.  Rafterey-  His 3 steals this game have really brought the tempo back in favor of wake forrest.  Bilas-  Those 3 steals have also led to three great open looks that are really being created by the dribble drive style opf attacking offense Dino gaudio has implemented.  Rafterey-  kind of the opposite style of offense that you played.  Bilas-  and kind of the opposite offense you coached.   :::everyone chuckles:::  Thats some quality commentary rith there.  Playing off the other guy, providing info, throwing a joke it or two.  This is what the commentary looks like now:  Bald Guy-  The Wake Forest point Guard brings the ball up the court at a tied game.  thats his third steal.  Bill Rafterey-  The last time I saw three steals, I was wearing a kilt while riding a longhorn steer in Tijuana.  jay Bilas-  Thats not the only thing you rode in Tijuana!  :::No one laughs, Jay bilas puts his hand on Bill Raftereys thigh, Rafterey yells out "onions!!!":::::  I rest my case.

8.  Bob Knight-  Bob Knight is the drunk Uncle that you can bank will tell the same story every year at Thanksgiving.  You can recount it my memory, you even make jokes about it to your family as you drive to your grand parents house.  You also know that if you tell your uncle that he has told you this story, or laugh while he is telling it, he might just break your neck.  So you are forced to sit their and listen again to that one time his buddies were on a boat fishing, when a cottonmouth snake fell into the boat from a tree, causing all four guys on the boat to immediately draw their shotguns and shoot at the snake, killing the snake instantly, but also putting a gigantic hole in their boat, causing it to gradually sink.  (This is the story my uncle would always tell, yes, he is from the south)  you know what bob Knight is going to say.  You know that he will say it at a blistering 5 words per minute.  you know that it will be true, even insightful, but it will be so boring that you won't even care.  Bob knight is also sometimes paired with Digger Phelps, which is a major points deduction.  It is funny sometimtes to watch Digger try and impress Bob Knight.  Its like in 2nd grade, when you had a crush on a girl, so you would agree with everything they said, and do really kiddy things to impress.  i can't wait for Digger Phelps to go across the monkey bars 3 times during a telecast to get Bob knights approval.

7.  Doug Gottlieb-  It is no secret my feelings towards Doug gottlieb.  I think he is cranky, pecimistic (I really shouldn't be talking after writing this article), a know it all, and that guy who would pick a quality movie to pieces while your watching it in a theater.  God damn it though, he knows basketball.  if he was just a little more optimistic, he would be higher on this list, I just can't ignore his smuggy attitude.  so much ahs been said about Doug Gottlieb, for better or worse on this board, I will leave this one at that.

6.  Len Elmore-  You can tell Len Elmore really like the 60's and 70's.  With hsi propencity to forget names, make some of the most general comments in the world, and too always seem like he just walked out of a hot boxed el camino, walked thourgh the wrong door, was given a head set by some key grip, and told to comment on a college basketball game without doing any research, you sometimes feel like Len Elmore did so many drugs during his hey day that the announcer he is partnered with might get a contact high by halftime.  How could you not laugh a little everytime you heard this year "Laser haywood with another impressive three, he is on tonight folks"  or "Darius odom Swanson is a beast tonight".  Now heres the kicker, len Elmore has law degree from Harvard!  yeah, that harvard.  He was also an assistant d.a.  in Brooklyn.  Can you Imagine the OJ Simpson trial playing out with len Elmore as the DA.  "Othello Jameson Sampsonite did stab Nikki Hilton and Bill Goldberg of the night in question, and i have the long sword to proof it.  Take that to the Bank."

5 thorugh 1 coming soon

[ohiomarqfan]

Good Stuff! Keep it coming.

[Jacks DC]

Hilarious post.  Just wondering if Digger also tried to dance with any MU cheerleaders and if that would change your view.  Seemed a little creepy to me.

Not to steal your thunder, but I am liking Gus Johnson more and more.  The K-State / Xavier game was one the best college basketball games I've seen in a long time and I have no doubt that my enjoyment was increased exponentially with Johnson almost having a heart attack with every big play.  I even get the chills when he says "brought to you in HIIIIIIGH definition by LG.  LIFE.  IS.  GOOOOOD."  Having said that, a buddy of mine can't stand him.

[KipsBayEagle]

Hilarious post.  Just wondering if Digger also tried to dance with any MU cheerleaders and if that would change your view.  Seemed a little creepy to me.

Not to steal your thunder, but I am liking Gus Johnson more and more.  The K-State / Xavier game was one the best college basketball games I've seen in a long time and I have no doubt that my enjoyment was increased exponentially with Johnson almost having a heart attack with every big play.  I even get the chills when he says "brought to you in HIIIIIIGH definition by LG.  LIFE.  IS.  GOOOOOD."  Having said that, a buddy of mine can't stand him.

O dont worry, i'll be getting to gus johnson

[Josey Wales]

haha this is great

[wyoMUfan]

lol

[SacWarrior]

Like the list so far, but if you don't praise the ground Gus Johnson walks on then I will be very disappointed.

[MUCrew]

This is priceless.