Dad jokes

[tower912]

Why are NFL offensive and defensive linemen the most Catholic?


All that mass on Sunday.

[Scoop Snoop]

Why are NFL offensive and defensive linemen the most Catholic?


All that mass on Sunday.

The best QBs for rescuing their teams with last minute heroics are also Catholics. They have said the Hail Mary 50,000 times in their lives, so they know how to get it right with a game-winning pass to the end zone.

[muwarrior69]

I appreciate anyone attempting to bring joy into the world in the face of pain.

...so says every mother.

[tower912]

The affliction for middle aged and older men when the tufts of hair along the top rims of their glasses gets too long and develops it's own ideas about what it wants to do.

AI brow.

[tower912]

It is good that everyone is staying h on top of how the season is going and staying diligent in their criticisms.

You never want to get caught with your pans down.

[tower912]

I really admire the architects who designed all of those incredibly ornate old churches with all of the arches and sculptures and stained glass.


I appreciate their go for baroque attitude.

[Scoop Snoop]

2 groaners:

A blind man picked up a hammer and saw.

A man seated in a restaurant asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter replied "Nothing fancy Sir. We just tell them they're going to die."

[Scoop Snoop]

There are some cattle of French origin in our area. You can tell when they are nearby, even if they are not in view. How? Listen very closely, and you will hear them. Mooii.  Mooiii

[StillAWarrior]

A blind man picked up a hammer and saw.

That brings back memories. My dad used to say, "'I see,' said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw."

[MU82]

I stopped and picked up a hitchhiker. After a few minutes, he asked: "Aren't you worried I might be a serial killer?" I laughed and said, "Nah, what are the odds of two serial killers being in the same car?"

[tower912]

Finding Greek food is like the NBA.  You used to have to travel.  Now it is just a gyro-step.

[barfolomew]

I've decided to move to St. Lucia.
I'm going to open a Disney-themed cookware store and call it Pyrex of the Caribbean.

[MU Fan in Connecticut]

I've decided to move to St. Lucia.
I'm going to open a Disney-themed cookware store and call it Pyrex of the Caribbean.

Like 15+ years ago my kids had a Nintendo DS and they used to play Wheel of Fortune all the time and the big prize was always an all expense trip to St. Lucia.  I kept asking one of my kids if she won and we were going on a free family vacation.  Unfortunately it was just a video game.

[barfolomew]

Finding Greek food is like the NBA.  You used to have to travel.  Now it is just a gyro-step.

Don't know if you saw, Tower, but the mother of Greek-born Illinois guard Andrej Stojakovic was wearing a NIL shirt with "Gyro Stepper" on it.

Hope you will use the royalty money wisely.

[tower912]

Someone with a tee shirt that parallels some of my word play about Greek food?

I falafel about that.

[Scoop Snoop]

Someone with a tee shirt that parallels some of my word play about Greek food?

I falafel about that.

I don't get these jokes. They're all Greek to me.

[tower912]

I don't get these jokes. They're all Greek to me.

Dolmas

[Scoop Snoop]

Dolmas

Hey, I really like dolmas. How did you know?

[tower912]

Our dentists have teamed up on an only fangs site.

[tower912]

My fourth grade teacher could teach a little bit of everything.  Miss Alaynieus.

[tower912]

So many states now showing off their adoration to the beloved Leave It To Beaver Star.  All getting serious about Jerry Mather-ing.

[tower912]

My neighbor is a dog lady.  Rescues, mostly.  She has 4 currently.  They have trained my wife to bring them treats every morning.  They react noisily and joyously when our garage door opens, as they know it is treat time.

The Howl-eluia chorus.

[tower912]

Snarcasm

[tower912]

A playing partnered in my Thursday retired firefighter golf group came up with a really good line today.  Gave me the nickname Habanero, since that is the first thing he could think of that burns more lips than I do.