5 Star Flash***** Marquette Gets Hank the dog, har de har har April fools.

[DavidBoone2inchesTaller]

For immediate release. April 1, 2014.

You won't be disappointed based on this candidate's popularity alone!

Very reliable sources have confirmed that Marquette has landed a whopper. Frankly, I can't believe it myself!!!!!!! This is incredible!!!!!!

Yes, none other than "Hank the Dog" will be hired as the leader of the Marquette program.

McGinn of the Milwaukee Urinal-Slantinel is giving this personnel acquisition 5 out of 5 bones.    

Sources indicate he's bringin' his own staff of coaching assistants. His list includes a "who's who"...the elite of the elite: "The Shaggy D.A.", "Old Yeller", "Marmaduke", "Copper" (Fox & Hound), and "Scraps" (from Airplane II).

"Toto" will serve as a special assistant and recruit primarily the Kansas area. "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog" will also serve as a special assistant and recruit primarily in New York City.

Now this is all speculation on my part but I did hear from various sources that "Hank the Dog" turned down applications for the assistant coaching positions from the following dogs: Spot, Max, Fido, Rocco, Sparky, Buddy, Buster, Shadow, and Spike.

[Atticus]

April Fools jokes were good in 4th grade. They jumped the shark a long time ago.

[chapman]

Done deal, sighting on campus

[Avenue Commons]

This is going to be a long arse day.

[DavidBoone2inchesTaller]

April Fools jokes were good in 4th grade. They jumped the shark a long time ago.

Thanks for the kind words. I agree. I've always believed that if you act young you will feel young.

[Ahoya06]

This is going to be a long arse day.

[hairy worthen]

That's all fine and good until he licks his balls on national TV or on West Virginias center court logo.  Then what will all the Hank slurpers say.

[DavidBoone2inchesTaller]

That's all fine and good until he licks his balls on national TV or on West Virginias center court logo.  Then what will all the Hank slurpers say.

You're absolutely correct and that's the risk you take with a hire like this one. But you'll be happy Worthen...he's pledging to bring back the Urban Camo uniforms!

[WadeATKBurton]

You just wasted 2min of your life writing that foolishness. Congrats.

[hairy worthen]

You just wasted 2min of your life writing that foolishness. Congrats.

Lighten up Francis, Martins not coming, thank god.

(There another 20 seconds wasted)

[RyanConroy]

You just wasted 2min of your life writing that foolishness. Congrats.

Looks like Cuonzo's a little bit upset Marquette told him he was no longer a candidate.

[bilsu]

I predict the new coach will be tossed from every game for barking at the refs.

[DavidBoone2inchesTaller]

You just wasted 2min of your life writing that foolishness. Congrats.

Thank you. When I get comments back like yours, it make it all worth it my 'Quette brotha'! Happy April 1, 2014!!!

[hairy worthen]

I predict the new coach will be tossed from every game for barking at the refs.

That's fine as long as he doesn't try to bury his bone at an Italian restaurant.

(Ok enough, the bad puns could go on all day.)