Journalism died around 2008.....rumor has it that it might make a comeback in 2016, but that remains to be seen.
I know you are being sarcastic, and I applaud you because that's what this entire post merits.
However, do I also sense a little joy about the "demise" of journalism?
Democracy is over as soon as the media stops trying to root out corruption, injustice, etc. That doesn't have to be done by newspapers, but it is the biggest outlets -- the NY Times, other major metro daily newspapers, AP, Bloomberg, Forbes, etc -- that willingly spend the money necessary to do the kind of investigations necessary to police the elected officials, business leaders, government agencies and other power brokers.
And when one of the media outlets screw up -- as Rolling Stone seemingly did in its UVA frat rape story -- it saddens me greatly because it is yet self-inflicted wound for journalism.