Mexico?

[warriorchick]

Mexico is basically stuck where Nevada was in the 50's... corruption, cronyism, lawlessness, a lot of sand, and if you don't know the right people, you're excrement/out of luck.  Sure, some of that stuff still exists in Nevada in a much lesser form, but the big difference is that today, everyone - even Steve Wynn - is scared of running into law enforcement in Nevada, be it the gaming board, police or DOJ... in Mexico, law enforcement is the one running scared.

It wasn't  particularly murder-y though, unless you were directly involved in the corruption and lawlessness.

[jesmu84]

A lot of people know the Connor/McGowan family from Pewaukee, the 20 yr old girl that died from tainted alcohol. They have multiple MU connections.  J/S investigation became a national story. 

I'm glad Jesmu and 82 can make light of the fact that they are unharmed, but many other families are not so lucky.

Currently sitting in the Houston airport on the way back home. We had a great time. I meant nothing by my humor. Certainly nothing but sadness for anyone who loses their life. We all take risks. Some more than others. At this point in our wedding search, my fiancee and I are more or less stuck with searching in Cabo. Unfortunately, part of that is due to where our friends/family can reasonably and cheaply travel to. Part of it is wedding cost.

I appreciate all the suggestions of carribean locations, but those are going to be more expensive for us and our guests.

[warriorchick]

Currently sitting in the Houston airport on the way back home. We had a great time. I meant nothing by my humor. Certainly nothing but sadness for anyone who loses their life. We all take risks. Some more than others. At this point in our wedding search, my fiancee and I are more or less stuck with searching in Cabo. Unfortunately, part of that is due to where our friends/family can reasonably and cheaply travel to. Part of it is wedding cost.

I appreciate all the suggestions of carribean locations, but those are going to be more expensive for us and our guests.

Honest question, and I swear I am not being snarky:  Why are you forcing your guests to spend so much money to attend your wedding? Even if it is one of the "cheap" places, my guess is you are talking close to 4 figures per person, not including spent vacation time.  Is holding it in one of the nicer places in your hometown that unacceptable to you and your fiancee?  Maybe I am just behind the times, but I would rather that more of the important people in my life be able to attend without a significant financial commitment.

[jesmu84]

Honest question, and I swear I am not being snarky:  Why are you forcing your guests to spend so much money to attend your wedding? Even if it is one of the "cheap" places, my guess is you are talking close to 4 figures per person, not including spent vacation time.  Is holding it in one of the nicer places in your hometown that unacceptable to you and your fiancee?  Maybe I am just behind the times, but I would rather that more of the important people in my life be able to attend without a significant financial commitment.

We're not forcing anyone to do anything.

Having said that, we are trying to make our decision while taking into account the costs and travel times for our invited guests. We are aware some or most will not make the trip.

The wedding we want for ourselves is much cheaper as a destination wedding. We wouldn't be able to afford it locally. I agree with your overall point that it's a trade-off.

[rocket surgeon]

We did a destination wedding for my son in ponta Cana a few years ago.  We had the participation of pretty much everyone we WANTED.  The guests just plan forward as if they are taking a vacation.  Not only is it cheaper, but less,stressful.  No worries about limos, flowers, getting to and from church to photo location to reception.  No worries about THE WEATHER!!  No worries about who to invite...you know certain people you HAVE to invite in order to avoid family squabbles later,  but really don’t want them-they usually don’t come=winning! No,worries,about guests over drinking and driving...over drinking and falling asleep/passing out in the hedges or some other Kodak moment place maybe

Golf golf and more golf.

I just wouldn’t do it in Mexico right now.  Just my comfort zone. The grand caymans would be great. Turks and caicos would be fine...st. John, Martin or Thomas...maybe even Jamaica but I’ve heard they’ve had a few issues but not like our friends to the immediate south

[jsglow]

Interesting.  I trust one gets comfortable with a polite 'Sorry, can't make it' response.

[Frenns Liquor Depot]

Interesting.  I trust one gets comfortable with a polite 'Sorry, can't make it' response.

Wouldn't someone be comfortable with this response despite the location of the wedding?

[jsglow]

Of course Frenns. But the 'polite decline' percentage is going to be much, much higher.

Folks should do whatever they want.  It's THEIR wedding.  I'm simply saying that every action has a reaction that one needs to reflect on and consider.  And one of those things is that a destination wedding will certainly increase the 'polite decline' rate.  If the bride/groom are cool, all good.  jesmu has acknowledged that by saying 'some or most won't make the trip'.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Honest question, and I swear I am not being snarky:  Why are you forcing your guests to spend so much money to attend your wedding? Even if it is one of the "cheap" places, my guess is you are talking close to 4 figures per person, not including spent vacation time.  Is holding it in one of the nicer places in your hometown that unacceptable to you and your fiancee?  Maybe I am just behind the times, but I would rather that more of the important people in my life be able to attend without a significant financial commitment.

Worse choice for guests:  destination wedding or wedding on a holiday weekend?

[GGGG]

Worse choice for guests:  destination wedding or wedding on a holiday weekend?

I like them on holiday weekends.  We have one on Labor Day Saturday this year.  Always nice to have an extra recovery day.

[Benny B]

We're not forcing anyone to do anything.

Having said that, we are trying to make our decision while taking into account the costs and travel times for our invited guests. We are aware some or most will not make the trip.

The wedding we want for ourselves is much cheaper as a destination wedding. We wouldn't be able to afford it locally. I agree with your overall point that it's a trade-off.

I honestly feel bad for engaged couples today given what weddings have become and certainly cannot fault you for going destination.  My wife and I got married in Milwaukee ten years ago... we had a guest list of 190 and my cousins and friends still remind to this day me how much fun and memorable it was.  I would be surprised if anyone could throw a "traditional" wedding today in any major city for anything less than 250% what we paid for ours.

That said, be mindful the relationship you have with your family and friends... for anyone who's more than an acquaintance or co-worker to you, by inviting them - or even by simply telling them when/where (with no formal invite) - you could essentially be guilt-tripping them into attending. 

Example: my sister got married in Maui a few years back... she knew that many of our family and her friends could not afford a trip to Hawaii yet she also knew that those closest to her would feel horrible if they couldn't make it.  So she and her husband invited no one, period.  Not even a BM or MOH.  The only guests there were his two daughters from a previous relationship and the two "witnesses" they recruited in Ka'anapali.  In fact, she went so far to forbid anyone else from attending (she didn't even tell me where in Hawaii, just Hawaii).  All this because it was more important to her and her husband - like yourselves - have the wedding they wanted at a price they could afford, while not passing the buck to others since the people who would have shown up in Maui would have mostly been the people who could have least afforded it.

A wedding is not the time to be testing the (negative) correlation between loyalty and wealth, because that's what many destination weddings are becoming these days: a shifting of burden from the couple to the guests.  I'm not criticizing your decision because after all, it is your wedding and please do whatever will make you and your bride happiest.  I'm simply recommending to be very mindful and conscious of the decision you're making, specifically from your guests' perspective.

[Eldon]

We did a destination wedding for my son in ponta Cana a few years ago.  We had the participation of pretty much everyone we WANTED.  The guests just plan forward as if they are taking a vacation.  Not only is it cheaper, but less,stressful.  No worries about limos, flowers, getting to and from church to photo location to reception.  No worries about THE WEATHER!!  No worries about who to invite...you know certain people you HAVE to invite in order to avoid family squabbles later,  but really don’t want them-they usually don’t come=winning! No,worries,about guests over drinking and driving...over drinking and falling asleep/passing out in the hedges or some other Kodak moment place maybe

Golf golf and more golf.

I just wouldn’t do it in Mexico right now.  Just my comfort zone. The grand caymans would be great. Turks and caicos would be fine...st. John, Martin or Thomas...maybe even Jamaica but I’ve heard they’ve had a few issues but not like our friends to the immediate south

This is exactly right.

Destination weddings allow you to invite thrice-removed cousins who you don't really want to be there.  At the same time, the distance gives these thrice-removed cousins license to politely decline since they don't really want to be there either.

It's a win-win.

[jsglow]

I like them on holiday weekends.  We have one on Labor Day Saturday this year.  Always nice to have an extra recovery day.

Again, trying really hard not to say what OTHERS should do.  I'm with Sultan here.  There's lots of holiday weekends.  So I miss some BBQ.  In fact if the wedding involves out of town travel, I'm probably more likely to go over a holiday.

I'm pretty sure my last attended wedding was my sis-in-law out in Boulder.  We worked hard to make sure all 4 in our family could attend.  It was a little challenging because our son had a late midterm exam that necessitated Friday evening travel for our kids.  I had to excuse myself from the rehearsal dinner to drive to the Denver airport (in Nebraska) to get them.  All cool.  Sis was honored they worked hard to get there.

[jsglow]

I honestly feel bad for engaged couples today given what weddings have become and certainly cannot fault you for going destination.  My wife and I got married in Milwaukee ten years ago... we had a guest list of 190 and my cousins and friends still remind to this day me how much fun and memorable it was.  I would be surprised if anyone could throw a "traditional" wedding today in any major city for anything less than 250% what we paid for ours.

That said, be mindful the relationship you have with your family and friends... for anyone who's more than an acquaintance or co-worker to you, by inviting them - or even by simply telling them when/where (with no formal invite) - you could essentially be guilt-tripping them into attending. 

Example: my sister got married in Maui a few years back... she knew that many of our family and her friends could not afford a trip to Hawaii yet she also knew that those closest to her would feel horrible if they couldn't make it.  So she and her husband invited no one, period.  Not even a BM or MOH.  The only guests there were his two daughters from a previous relationship and the two "witnesses" they recruited in Ka'anapali.  In fact, she went so far to forbid anyone else from attending (she didn't even tell me where in Hawaii, just Hawaii).  All this because it was more important to her and her husband - like yourselves - have the wedding they wanted at a price they could afford, while not passing the buck to others since the people who would have shown up in Maui would have mostly been the people who could have least afforded it.

A wedding is not the time to be testing the (negative) correlation between loyalty and wealth, because that's what many destination weddings are becoming these days: a shifting of burden from the couple to the guests.  I'm not criticizing your decision because after all, it is your wedding and please do whatever will make you and your bride happiest.  I'm simply recommending to be very mindful and conscious of the decision you're making, specifically from your guests' perspective.

Extremely well stated benny.

Even if it's not a financial burden.

I was at Delicate Arch a few years back and witnessed a young couple hiking up to wed.  Down the trail and following was a fairly long line of attendees, some of whom would have difficulty making the trek up the slickrock.  I pondered whether I thought it a good idea or not.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Again, trying really hard not to say what OTHERS should do.  I'm with Sultan here.  There's lots of holiday weekends.  So I miss some BBQ.  In fact if the wedding involves out of town travel, I'm probably more likely to go over a holiday.

I'm pretty sure my last attended wedding was my sis-in-law out in Boulder.  We worked hard to make sure all 4 in our family could attend.  It was a little challenging because our son had a late midterm exam that necessitated Friday evening travel for our kids.  I had to excuse myself from the rehearsal dinner to drive to the Denver airport (in Nebraska) to get them.  All cool.  Sis was honored they worked hard to get there.

I'm of the mindset that there are plenty of other weekends but many families and people have annual traditions on holiday weekends, and it is asking a lot of someone to give up their long weekend and and long standing plans to go to a wedding.

[jsglow]

I'm of the mindset that there are plenty of other weekends but many families and people have annual traditions on holiday weekends, and it is asking a lot of someone to give up their long weekend and and long standing plans to go to a wedding.

That's cool.  I think the lesson for ALL is not to judge others who might not attend based on the choices we made, be it expense, destination, timing or whatever.

[Benny B]

Our wedding fell on the last Saturday of May.  I recall two or three people who initially sent regrets only to phone/email us about a month before the wedding to say they could make it because they now realized we weren't getting married on Memorial Day weekend (the weekend prior to our wedding) for which they already had plans.

It didn't bother us whether they were going to or not attend, but in retrospect, we might have had a dozen or two more attend had we put "(NOT MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND)" underneath the date on the invitations.

[MU82]

My daughter and her husband planned their destination wedding in Cabo specifically because they wanted only close family and very best friends there. They didn't want 200 guests, half or more of whom would have been parents' friends or distant relatives that they barely knew. They wanted it to be a celebration that everybody could enjoy beyond the few hours of the actually wedding/reception.

Every member of both immediate families is going except one of my brothers (who won't fly). The bride and groom's best friends are all going.

As my daughter said, "Who else do we need?"

Just about everybody in this small group of people have the financial means to attend, although my wife and I are helping our newly married son and daughter-in-law pay for their trip. And several have said they are grateful for the "forced vacation." Most take multiple vacations every year.

My daughter and son-in-law simply felt that this would be a better way to use resources than to have some 200-guest wedding in Seattle (where they live); BTW, that wouldn't have been cheap for out-of-towners, either.

My son just had similar in Chicago ... and I'm too embarrassed to say publicly how much it cost - glad I only chipped in a fraction of the amount.

[ZiggysFryBoy]

I can understand the small guest list.  For our wedding, my list, the wife's list and my parents' list were combined to be smaller that my MIL's list.

She saw it as a chance to entertain her friends, acquaintances, and the people that their 4th kid played hockey with in 4th grade.  I told her that I didn't want to spend my wedding night talking to her friends.  We compromised, she cut her guest list down and my wife and I avoided her most of her parents' friends.

Agree with glow, lots of ways to skin a cat, and no matter what you do for a wedding, it's going to be expensive 99% of the time.

[rocket surgeon]

Interesting.  I trust one gets comfortable with a polite 'Sorry, can't make it' response.

i think when planning a destination wedding, it's easier to understand those who can't make it so ya offer the consolation prize-backyard bbq to scarf the gifts ya missed out on from those who "can't make it, eyna?  just tell em you're cookin johnsonville brats

[4everwarriors]

Worse choice for guests:  destination wedding or wedding on a holiday weekend?

Nothin' beets havin' ta skip the MU vs UW basketball game four a fookin' family weddin', aina?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Nothin' beets havin' ta skip the MU vs UW basketball game four a fookin' family weddin', aina?

you keep saying this, but I have no frickin idea of what it means.  aina.

[4everwarriors]

Now hoos gettin' old? Dude, you bitched 'bout 10-12 years ago about havin' ta skip a Saturday afternoon game vs UW at da BC 'cuz one of yo wife's kinfolk wuz gettin' hitched dat dey, hey?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Now hoos gettin' old? Dude, you bitched 'bout 10-12 years ago about havin' ta skip a Saturday afternoon game vs UW at da BC 'cuz one of yo wife's kinfolk wuz gettin' hitched dat dey, hey?

no kinfolk married time o year, doc.  December is for baby Jesus. 

[rocket surgeon]

this can't be good for business-14 murders in 36 hours in cancun-

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6024568/cancun-murders-mexico-drug-gang/