Kolek planning to go pro
Wow, I'm very concerned for Benny. Being able to mimic Myron Medcalf's writing so closely implies an oncoming case of dementia.
A primer on Wisconsin-speak:1. You drink from a bubbler.2. If today is Monday 7/21/2014, then this Tuesday is 7/22/2014, and next Tuesday is 7/29/2014. This refers to what is upon us, next refers to that which follows. Seems rather elementary right? Well just like how "coke" refers to all types of soda in various pockets down south, I can attest that in pockets of Southern Indiana (which is divided from Northern Indiana by Washington Street in Indy) there is no this anything... they will refer to both 7/22 and 7/29 as next Tuesday. Nevertheless, this season refers to the current season and next season refers to the one that follows.So now that we've got this cleared up, next we clear up what 7/21/2014 constitutes as far as the current basketball season. Technically, the 2013-14 season has ended, yet the 2014-15 season has not yet begun. As far as the basketball gods are concerned, we live in a time which does not exist, and therefore, a responsible journalist would use neither this nor next when referring to an upcoming season. But responsible journalist has evolved into an oxymoron, so all bets are off on what Hunt meant to say. Though 2015 is the correct answer. Unless there's a hardship or the NCAA is asleep at the wheel again, in which case 2014 is the correct answer. But if there is a hardship and the NCAA is asleep at the wheel it's 2015.With me so far?"But Benny, recruiting is a year-round process." Stop whining. I know this. You know this. Hell, we all know this because someone smarter than all of us collectively said this enough times for it to become a scientific fact (I believe you have to say something two times a day for six years - give or take - and it becomes true... at least it does for the Nobel committee). Except that we know said smartypants obviously didn't mean to imply that he was recruiting during the dead period (which doesn't actually exist according to the aforementioned gods and their view of time-space), and the signing periods, which there are two. So there appears to be at least more than three, but certainly less than four, recruiting seasons for each basketball season.Given that men are from Mars, and women from Venus... Title IX both a) requires that everything default to the Venusian calendar, which is only 224 Earth Days in length, and b) makes women's sports more numerous, so that becomes the numerator and since men's sports are more dominant (and since the dominant sports' participants usually can't spell that güd), the Martian calendar is the denominator. Now, there are 687 days in the Martian calendar, so for every basketball season, there are 3.067 (687/224) recruiting seasons (I forgot to mention... football and basketball players aren't great at math concepts, either. Neither is my wife from southern Indiana. So while the previous may be technically correct, it is more journalistically responsible to say that there are 0.326 basketball seasons for every recruiting season.)So bringing us full circle, Wally will be eligible when Phobos and Deimos align with Venus, which is something like 440 days from now.Despite the fact that I think someone swapped out the full lead instead of my usual decaf this morning, I'm pretty sure the above checks out. Watch back later today when I say the same thing again. And then again, twice a day, for the next several years. Or until I get banned. Which, according to the Mercurial calendar, it's about time for another Scoop banning. And since Sultan, Ners and Chicos have been relatively well behaved recently, someone better go off the deep end fast (too late*) and/or piss off Rocky before we screw up space-time.Marquette Madness needs to get here really quick because straight-up madness is starting to set in.* Bonus points for a classic movie quote.
Wally's gonna be eligible next season. So, is next season the one that starts in November 2014 or November 2015? Maybe I don't understand journalism jargon, hey?
TAMUI do know, Newsie is right on you knowing ball.
He is eligible for track & field in 14-15, both indoor and outdoor. Has 3 years left for indoor & 2 for outdoor. Yes, the NCAA considers the availability of roofs to make a difference in track & field.
A primer on Wisconsin-speak:1. You drink from a bubbler.2. If today is Monday 7/21/2014, then this Tuesday is 7/22/2014, and next Tuesday is 7/29/2014. This refers to what is upon us, next refers to that which follows. Seems rather elementary right? Well just like how "coke[/size]" refers to all types of soda in various pockets down south, I can attest that in pockets of Southern Indiana (which is divided from Northern Indiana by Washington Street in Indy) there is no this anything... they will refer to both 7/22 and 7/29 as next Tuesday. Nevertheless, this season refers to the current season and next season refers to the one that follows.So now that we've got this cleared up, next we clear up what 7/21/2014 constitutes as far as the current basketball season. Technically, the 2013-14 season has ended, yet the 2014-15 season has not yet begun. As far as the basketball gods are concerned, we live in a time which does not exist, and therefore, a responsible journalist would use neither this nor next when referring to an upcoming season. But responsible journalist has evolved into an oxymoron, so all bets are off on what Hunt meant to say. Though 2015 is the correct answer. Unless there's a hardship or the NCAA is asleep at the wheel again, in which case 2014 is the correct answer. But if there is a hardship and the NCAA is asleep at the wheel it's 2015.With me so far?"But Benny, recruiting is a year-round process." Stop whining. I know this. You know this. Hell, we all know this because someone smarter than all of us collectively said this enough times for it to become a scientific fact (I believe you have to say something two times a day for six years - give or take - and it becomes true... at least it does for the Nobel committee). Except that we know said smartypants obviously didn't mean to imply that he was recruiting during the dead period (which doesn't actually exist according to the aforementioned gods and their view of time-space), and the signing periods, which there are two. So there appears to be at least more than three, but certainly less than four, recruiting seasons for each basketball season.Given that men are from Mars, and women from Venus... Title IX both a) requires that everything default to the Venusian calendar, which is only 224 Earth Days in length, and b) makes women's sports more numerous, so that becomes the numerator and since men's sports are more dominant (and since the dominant sports' participants usually can't spell that güd), the Martian calendar is the denominator. Now, there are 687 days in the Martian calendar, so for every basketball season, there are 3.067 (687/224) recruiting seasons (I forgot to mention... football and basketball players aren't great at math concepts, either. Neither is my wife from southern Indiana. So while the previous may be technically correct, it is more journalistically responsible to say that there are 0.326 basketball seasons for every recruiting season.)So bringing us full circle, Wally will be eligible when Phobos and Deimos align with Venus, which is something like 440 days from now.Despite the fact that I think someone swapped out the full lead instead of my usual decaf this morning, I'm pretty sure the above checks out. Watch back later today when I say the same thing again. And then again, twice a day, for the next several years. Or until I get banned. Which, according to the Mercurial calendar, it's about time for another Scoop banning. And since Sultan, Ners and Chicos have been relatively well behaved recently, someone better go off the deep end fast (too late*) and/or piss off Rocky before we screw up space-time.Marquette Madness needs to get here really quick because straight-up madness is starting to set in.
A primer on Wisconsin-speak:1. You drink from a bubbler.2. If today is Monday 7/21/2014, then this Tuesday is 7/22/2014, and next Tuesday is 7/29/2014. This refers to what is upon us, next refers to that which follows. Seems rather elementary right? Well just like how "coke" refers to all types of soda in various pockets down south, I can attest that in pockets of Southern Indiana (which is divided from Northern Indiana by Washington Street in Indy) there is no this anything... they will refer to both 7/22 and 7/29 as next Tuesday. Nevertheless, this season refers to the current season and next season refers to the one that follows.* Bonus points for a classic movie quote.
You forgot some other quaint Wisconsin colloquialisms that give such local charm and flavor to the Marquette experience.3. "Go By" Milwaukeeans do not go to or stop at a destination. They "go by." "Did you go by Gilles Custard der, hey?""Well, no, I stopped at Gilles and bought some custard.""So you went by Gilles den, aina!"4. "Real Quick" Used to soften a request despite the fact that the expression has no correlation to any time quotient."Hey der, woodja go by da Grebes and pick up some bakery real quick?"5. "er no?"Used to engender consensus or to eliminate ambiguity." You going by da Kohl's der on 27th er no?"6. TYME MachineAn ATM in Wisconsin"Hey, hang on der. I gotta go by da Tyme Machine real quick to get some money!"7. "Mo' Waukee"A city in SE Wisconsin"Are you from Wisconsin?""No, I'm from Mo'waukee!"8. "On Accident"Randomness versus Intent"Hey Ziggy, jew leave your coat at da tavern last night on accident?"9. "Interesting"Code for tastes like sh1t"Dat's some interesting fish in dat sushi place over der on Oakland donchaknow."10. "Up Nort'"Northern Wisconsin. Also used to indicate a period of time away from Mo'Waukee spent fishing for Norderns and crappies."Ya, we were Up Nort' der hey. Stosh got a really big lunker."11. "One Time"Used to soften a demand."Gimme dat remote one time der hey!"12. "TH"There is a complete lack of the dental frictive phonemes in Wisconsin, likely because of the Germanic/Scandinavian heritage of its original white settlers.There - DerThis - DisThat - DatThem - DemThey - DeyThe - Da13. "Stop 'N Go Signs"Traffic Signals"Well, ya go true da stop 'n go sign der den take a louie by da Dutchland Dairy"14. "Yous Guys" A collective of persons"So, did yous guys go by da Brewers game der last night?"15. "Bakery"The product and not the establishment"Didja buy some bakery der hey?""Well, no, I didn't buy the bakery. I bought some donuts at the bakery.""I hope you got some elephant ear bakery den!"16. "Borrow"Used in the place of lend."Hey Zollie, borrow me some money hey?""Sorry, I can't borrow you any because i'm gonna go by da store for da wife."17. "Yet"Constantly used in the most inane ways; defies explanation."Jew still got dem brats yet?""We went up nort' der too yet."18. "Mock Chicken Leg"A pork product described as being not chicken."What's for supper der Edziu?""Mock chicken legs wit kraut."
#5 is the most distinctively Wisconsin part of speech there is, and I still catch myself doing it almost every time I ask a question.
When I was in flight school my Thiensville wife came down to OK to visit. She joined a group of us for lunch at the O Club. Afterwards, back at the hangar, a couple guys from New England asked if she was Canadian based on her Wisconsin accent.
I was just going to say that I always thought of Wisconsin-speak as Canada-lite.
You forgot some other quaint Wisconsin colloquialisms that give such local charm and flavor to the Marquette experience.6. TYME MachineAn ATM in Wisconsin"Hey, hang on der. I gotta go by da Tyme Machine real quick to get some money!"7. "Mo' Waukee"A city in SE Wisconsin"Are you from Wisconsin?""No, I'm from Mo'waukee!"13. "Stop 'N Go Signs"Traffic Signals"Well, ya go true da stop 'n go sign der den take a louie by da Dutchland Dairy"14. "Yous Guys" A collective of persons"So, did yous guys go by da Brewers game der last night?"
Crash,Spoken like a true Cudahy native, hey?
6. I've never heard anyone call it a Tyme machine7. I must be misreading your phonetic representation of the accent... because I don't think I've ever heard that one.13. Are we familiar with the same Milwaukee?14. You're mistaking Milwaukee with Philly again.
Put that der peanut butter on some celery instead and avoid the grains.