having fun with tele-marketers

[rocket surgeon]

  i just got off the phone with one of these parasites and thought-what a great, fun, off the wall topic for scoop on a weekend when everyone is all freaked out about whether or not we make the real dance or whether or not wojo should be chit canned and we bring back tc or something, but...

     everyone will probably agree when i say that taking calls from these doofuss telemarket'ers  can be annoying as hell.  when one of these calls sneaks thru and ya pick up the phone and hear their schtick, first reaction is to 1)hang up 2) bitch at them and tell them to take you off their calling list, or.....3) have a little fun with them-

     one of my favs is when they tell you you've WON something-just get into it-send it on over, i just love those fill-in-the-blanks whatchamacall'ems. as a matter of fact, me and my wife, who just so happens to be my sister here were just talkin about... and then just ad-lib some more of the goofiest chit you can come up with and make him hang up on you-in other words, go dysfunctional on him/her and...they go away

   another one is to answer, pause, then tell them to hang on, you're on the throne and then let out your best arghhhhhhh/heave ho, we will get thru this together stuff and any other guttural noises you can come up with, hey mom, get the measuring tape... they will take YOU off their calling list

[GooooMarquette]

When someone calls and tells me it's about my credit card but asks me for the information to verify, I just turn the tables on them - "If you're calling with important information about my card, that means that you should know the number, expiration date and security code.  Tell me them and I might talk with you." 

Suddenly I'm talking to a dial tone....

[ATL MU Warrior]

  i just got off the phone with one of these parasites and thought-what a great, fun, off the wall topic for scoop on a weekend when everyone is all freaked out about whether or not we make the real dance or whether or not wojo should be chit canned and we bring back tc or something, but...

     everyone will probably agree when i say that taking calls from these doofuss telemarket'ers  can be annoying as hell.  when one of these calls sneaks thru and ya pick up the phone and hear their schtick, first reaction is to 1)hang up 2) bitch at them and tell them to take you off their calling list, or.....3) have a little fun with them-

     one of my favs is when they tell you you've WON something-just get into it-send it on over, i just love those fill-in-the-blanks whatchamacall'ems. as a matter of fact, me and my wife, who just so happens to be my sister here were just talkin about... and then just ad-lib some more of the goofiest chit you can come up with and make him hang up on you-in other words, go dysfunctional on him/her and...they go away

   another one is to answer, pause, then tell them to hang on, you're on the throne and then let out your best arghhhhhhh/heave ho, we will get thru this together stuff and any other guttural noises you can come up with, hey mom, get the measuring tape... they will take YOU off their calling list

whaaaa???

[mu_hilltopper]

I haven't done this, but want to.  There's a number you can transfer marketers to .. then a pre-recorded old guy picks up and "talks" to them, sometimes for 10-20-50 minutes.

There's a reddit of recordings of the marketers talking to "him":
https://www.reddit.com/r/itslenny/


Instructions for use:
Transfer, conference, or forward your telemarketing calls to 1-347-514-7296.  If you conference Lenny in, be sure to mute your phone. The rules: Lenny is for incoming, telemarketing calls only - not for annoying people, even if they deserve it.

[JamilJaeJamailJrJuan]

whaaaa???

lol fantastic.

[4everwarriors]

I've actually done this chit a couplea times. Dude calls identifyin' himself as a Microsoft engineer and says dey cee I'm havin' computer problems. I say I'm so glad ya called 'cuz i'm recently havin' computer issues. He gives me instructions to navigate the web and eventually says a message will pop up on da screen. Meanwhile, i'm verbally jerkin' him off as I have done nothin' on my computer. At some point i tell 'im the message appears, but its not four me, but its addressed ta him. He says read it ta me. I tell him it says to take yo right thumb and stick it as far up yo ass hole as it can go and den fook yoself. Den i hang up after usin' a few more colorful adjectives. Meanwhile, i've wasted some of his time and gave 'im a little rise so he figurin' he snagged a live one. Oh, and at da time I did't own any Windows based computers, hey?

[rocket surgeon]

whaaaa???

i can either walk ya through one of these or send ya pictures, but 4ever's was dead on and friggin hilarious.  i figure, rather than allowing them to put you in an awkward position, have a little fun.  i've heard that old man that hilltopper was talking about and is really funny as well