Au Pair's

[Benny B]

Does anyone here have any experience with an Au Pair?  The sitter we've used since our oldest child was born has retired, and I don't know how long we can go on relying on parents/in-laws to fill the void between school and when my wife and I get home from work.  We don't need a nanny, but we are considering an au pair.  I've done a little research online, but neither my wife nor I have any friends/family/co-workers who's ever used one, so we're still a bit in the dark on this one.

Primarily, I'd like to talk to someone who can explain the differences (if any) between the sponsoring agencies but secondarily, any advice would be helpful.

[MU Fan in Connecticut]

My experience with Au Pair's won't help you. 
Back in the early 90's I used to meet a ton of them out at the bars and night clubs here in Connecticut as they burnt off a week of working with kids.  'Nuff said.

[4everwarriors]

A pair of 34B or 36C's are good. Utterwise, D'anjou or bartlett's are good dis time of season, ai na?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

pretty sure you can bang the au pair, but not the nanny. 

probably came to the wrong place for advise on this one, kin.

[mu_hilltopper]

Maybe my lingo is wrong but I thought an au pair was someone who lived in your house.
 Sounds like you don't need someone there 24/7, you just need em for after school care.

An MU friend of mine used Care.com to post a "job" like this with exact specifications .. stuff like .. person must have a car, pick up kids at school, make light snacks, help with homework -- and make dinner for the family, do laundry !!

I read that last part and thought, holy crap, you can hire people to do that?  Where do I sign?

[JWags85]

Maybe my lingo is wrong but I thought an au pair was someone who lived in your house.
 Sounds like you don't need someone there 24/7, you just need em for after school care.

Right, it usually means a foreign girl who lives with the family and provides childcare.

As for your needs, not sure where you live but when I worked at Pepsi, a number of my older coworkers had similar "helpers", most were local college students who just worked a few hours in the morning and/or afternoon.  Could possibly look into that.

[Herman Cain]

Don't dip quill in company ink well.

[MARQTTE]

Benny,

We've had 6 au pairs and we're happy that we did.  We went through aupair care.  Message me if you have any questions.

[4everwarriors]

Don't dip quill in company ink well.

Kinda like not chittin' in da same place ya eat, hey?

[ZiggysFryBoy]

Kinda like not chittin' in da same place ya eat, hey?

Still giving da ladies chili dogs, a'nia?

[Archies Bat]

Does anyone here have any experience with an Au Pair?  The sitter we've used since our oldest child was born has retired, and I don't know how long we can go on relying on parents/in-laws to fill the void between school and when my wife and I get home from work.  We don't need a nanny, but we are considering an au pair.  I've done a little research online, but neither my wife nor I have any friends/family/co-workers who's ever used one, so we're still a bit in the dark on this one.

Primarily, I'd like to talk to someone who can explain the differences (if any) between the sponsoring agencies but secondarily, any advice would be helpful.

We had multiple Au Pairs about 10-15 years back.

Big picture, we lived in a city with a hard commute, and they made life much easier.  We did not need to worry about traffic or leaving work before daycare closed (we did not do this regularly, but it was nice to have the flexibility when needed). We loved it, but after several years we got tired of someone living in our house.  Overall, it was much easier than daycare or even a someone who came to the house during the day.

We tried one US Au Pair, and preferred the foreign ones.

And for you scoopers out there dreaming of a young, female foreign Au Pair, from my contacts with other families, the few times I heard there was some something going on, it was with a male Au Pair.

PM me if you wish, but my contacts are getting stale, so would not know who to recommend today.

[keefe]

Does anyone here have any experience with an Au Pair?  The sitter we've used since our oldest child was born has retired, and I don't know how long we can go on relying on parents/in-laws to fill the void between school and when my wife and I get home from work.  We don't need a nanny, but we are considering an au pair.  I've done a little research online, but neither my wife nor I have any friends/family/co-workers who's ever used one, so we're still a bit in the dark on this one.

Primarily, I'd like to talk to someone who can explain the differences (if any) between the sponsoring agencies but secondarily, any advice would be helpful.

We had an au pair for several years while living in Asia. Since both of us had jobs that required travel it was essential. We used Microsoft's HR Department to screen our au pair which was a perk of my wife's that was immeasurably valuable in finding the right person. I cannot stress enough that this person will become a part of your family; the kids still keep in touch with their au pair to this day.

Many expats had au pairs or amahs (the latter were almost always Filipinas) and there are some real Amah Drama horror stories out there. The best advice I can give is to ensure a proper vetting before bringing someone into your family and act immediately if there is any hint that the kids are not comfortable with the person. You are entrusting the safety, welfare, and development of your kids to this individual.

[MerrittsMustache]

Does anyone here have any experience with an Au Pair?  The sitter we've used since our oldest child was born has retired, and I don't know how long we can go on relying on parents/in-laws to fill the void between school and when my wife and I get home from work.  We don't need a nanny, but we are considering an au pair.  I've done a little research online, but neither my wife nor I have any friends/family/co-workers who's ever used one, so we're still a bit in the dark on this one.

Primarily, I'd like to talk to someone who can explain the differences (if any) between the sponsoring agencies but secondarily, any advice would be helpful.

How old are your kids? Doesn't their school offer after school programming? Just curious.

[Benny B]

How old are your kids? Doesn't their school offer after school programming? Just curious.

Three kids between 3-8 y/o.  There is after-school care, but only until 6:00 p.m. (which is pretty much the standard); this might have been doable before, however, my wife took a job in private practice recently, so the nights where we're both working until 6:00p (or later) have increased exponentially.  In addition, she's traveling for work now (something she wasn't doing before), and so far we've been able to avoid traveling at the same time, but it's all but inevitable that there's going to be one or two times a year where we're traveling on the same day.  So our challenge goes a bit beyond after-school.  I like the au pair option because they are live-in and can assist with a little bit more than childcare, i.e. making meals for the kids, laundry, homework, etc. when needed; and let's be honest, they're a hell of a lot cheaper than a nanny because they're essentially foreign exchange students who are getting room and board while they spend a year or two studying in the states (they're required to take college courses while in the US).  We have extra room in our house, so in a way, this would allow us to monetize the unused space in our home, provide a foreign student with some international experience, allow our children to gain some multi-cultural exposure, and alleviate some of the pressures on my wife and I both working high-stress, full-time jobs.  Win-win-win-win.

[WellsstreetWanderer]

Your question brings back memories of the Swedish Au Pairs we used to meet on the North Shore in the 60's
My wife stayed home with the kids but friends did employ them and were most happy with educated Europeans.

[Herman Cain]

Three kids between 3-8 y/o.  There is after-school care, but only until 6:00 p.m. (which is pretty much the standard); this might have been doable before, however, my wife took a job in private practice recently, so the nights where we're both working until 6:00p (or later) have increased exponentially.  In addition, she's traveling for work now (something she wasn't doing before), and so far we've been able to avoid traveling at the same time, but it's all but inevitable that there's going to be one or two times a year where we're traveling on the same day.  So our challenge goes a bit beyond after-school.  I like the au pair option because they are live-in and can assist with a little bit more than childcare, i.e. making meals for the kids, laundry, homework, etc. when needed; and let's be honest, they're a hell of a lot cheaper than a nanny because they're essentially foreign exchange students who are getting room and board while they spend a year or two studying in the states (they're required to take college courses while in the US).  We have extra room in our house, so in a way, this would allow us to monetize the unused space in our home, provide a foreign student with some international experience, allow our children to gain some multi-cultural exposure, and alleviate some of the pressures on my wife and I both working high-stress, full-time jobs.  Win-win-win-win.

Spend the money and get a responsible older adult lady who does not live in.  If you get the right one she can work with your family for the long term. The au pairs have a short shelf life by statute. You can afford it.

[WarriorFan]

One small piece of advice for after you set this up.  Set up a rule with your wife that you won't argue about the Au Pair and she won't complain to you about the Au Pair.  This saves a lot of drama.  For many years I had the policy that one complaint and I go fire the girl and it's up to the wife to find a new one.  Either it's working or it's not.  No gray areas. In 18 years I only fired 2, so I'm not that bad of a person.  Also, it's possible to get Filipina women with nursing  and medical training and even teaching training.  They are common in Singapore and Hong Kong. 

[Babybluejeans]

My parents had au pairs for my siblings and I growing up and we loved them. We got exposure to French and German culture/language at a young age and became close with all of them. Do the right vetting and at least from a kid's perspective, I can't recommend it enough.

[Goose]

Ziggy

I think you are right on the banging part. Good call.

[Benny B]

Spend the money and get a responsible older adult lady who does not live in.  If you get the right one she can work with your family for the long term. The au pairs have a short shelf life by statute. You can afford it.

Check the OP... we had that.  She retired. Although no new kids are being made, by definition, responsible older adult ladies have a shelf life too.