More young adults (18-34) live with parents.

[GGGG]

Our kids paid for their own smartphone plans in college because we refused to put them on ours. We paid for phone and texting, which was all we needed them to have. They used to tell us they were ridiculed because they only kids they knew who didn't have iPhones. We launched into a diatribe about all the things they already had that we never did in college  (televisions, computers, roach-free apartments, etc). They knew it was a lost cause.

We did the same...and then we got a real good deal on data, a birthday came up and...well...yeah.

Hey but we did refuse to give them spending money in college.  Jobs were a requirement.

[mu03eng]

My dad told me right away "don't expect to get any money from me and your mom."

Probably one of the greatest gifts he gave me.  Left no doubt in my mind that I needed to make my own way and motivated me.   

(He did generously offer to pay for my first two years though, when tuition was still under control.)

Same here. Any time my parents came to visit or I visited them and they would take me out to dinner, there was no question they were going to pay but every time there was always a joke about my continual mooching off of them for dinner. Keep in mind I was paying for everything on my own once I left college without borrowing or asking for anything. First time I bought dinner for them, the jokes stopped.

It was a good gentle reminder that while they were always there, that was not a desirable outcome.

[MU82]

When our kids were growing up, I didn't give a flyin' shyte what other kids had that mine didn't.

Mine didn't have video games. Mine didn't have cellphones until they got to high school and smartphones till they were on their own. Mine didn't have designer jeans. Mine didn't have cars - hell, mine didn't even have driver's licenses; don't need 'em in Chicago. Mine didn't have Air Jordans or any other sneakers costing more than the gross domestic products of many small nations. Mine didn't have iPods. Etc, etc, etc. If they wanted any of that kind of crap, they had to earn their own money and buy them.

What did my kids have?

A great family life. The love of two parents who obviously love each other. A good home. A mom who was always there for them when I had to travel a lot. Every single thing they needed (and some things they wanted). Emotional support. Forgiveness when they screwed up.

They also had some pretty fun experiences - summer camps, sports leagues, family trips to Hawaii, AZ, Fla, Europe, Canada, etc.

Oh, and college completely paid for. Because we weren't buying them cars and handing them $20 bills whenever they asked for it, we were able to afford to let them graduate college with no debt. I'd say that's a better gift than a pair of effen designer jeans.

I KNOW our kids thought we were cheap when they were growing up, certainly by the time they were teens and they really saw all the stuff their friends had. But they rarely complained -- because they knew it would fall on deaf ears -- and they now say they are grateful for how they were raised.

My wife, especially, was an amazing mother during their years growing up. I was OK.

[warriorchick]

When our kids were growing up, I didn't give a flyin' shyte what other kids had that mine didn't.

Mine didn't have video games. Mine didn't have cellphones until they got to high school and smartphones till they were on their own. Mine didn't have designer jeans. Mine didn't have cars - hell, mine didn't even have driver's licenses; don't need 'em in Chicago. Mine didn't have Air Jordans or any other sneakers costing more than the gross domestic products of many small nations. Mine didn't have iPods. Etc, etc, etc. If they wanted any of that kind of crap, they had to earn their own money and buy them.

What did my kids have?

A great family life. The love of two parents who obviously love each other. A good home. A mom who was always there for them when I had to travel a lot. Every single thing they needed (and some things they wanted). Emotional support. Forgiveness when they screwed up.

They also had some pretty fun experiences - summer camps, sports leagues, family trips to Hawaii, AZ, Fla, Europe, Canada, etc.

Oh, and college completely paid for. Because we weren't buying them cars and handing them $20 bills whenever they asked for it, we were able to afford to let them graduate college with no debt. I'd say that's a better gift than a pair of effen designer jeans.

I KNOW our kids thought we were cheap when they were growing up, certainly by the time they were teens and they really saw all the stuff their friends had. But they rarely complained -- because they knew it would fall on deaf ears -- and they now say they are grateful for how they were raised.

My wife, especially, was an amazing mother during their years growing up. I was OK.

[mu03eng]

My wife, especially, was an amazing mother during their years growing up. I was OK.

Don't sell yourself short MU82, you're a tremendous slouch

[warriorchick]

We did the same...and then we got a real good deal on data, a birthday came up and...well...yeah.

Hey but we did refuse to give them spending money in college.  Jobs were a requirement.

[Galway Eagle]

To the point of moving out. I was living in a crappy part of a improving neighborhood, with a roommate and still had to shell out 800 each for rent then add on Internet which is an expense older generations didn't need to deal with on starting salaries, electric, gas, etc it became impossible and had to go home. Currently trying to find a four bedroom so that we can all move back out to the city.

I don't think many millenials are happy staying at home but expenses have gotten absurd that on a starting salary it's next to impossible to make ends meet on your own so we're forced back home.

[MU82]

A different time, I know, but when I was in college, I had three goals (aside from the obvious - have fun, both legal and illegal, moral and immoral):

1. Get my degree in 4 years.

None of this 5-year or 6-year crapola. I couldn't afford it, and I didn't want to afford it.

2. Walk right from college into a job in my chosen profession.

I used to get a kick out of my friends who majored in poli-sci or philosophy and had absolutely no idea what they wanted to be in life. You're spending thousands of dollars a year (now 10s of thousands) and you're just going to go in there, drift around and say, "Whatever"? When I talk to high school kids, I still advise them to have a plan going in. One can always change it. My wife went to MU planning to be a doctor but realized early on it wasn't for her and switched to Journalism. Now she's a nurse. Life is full of twists and turns; why complicate it even more by having no plan at all?

Actually landing the job might take some luck -- I know that I was lucky as hell. But not having a plan makes it all the more difficult.

3. Live on my own after graduation.

Unlike many of my friends who came from broken or dysfunctional homes, I had a great childhood. I loved, loved, loved my parents. But I didn't want to live with them. More accurately, I didn't want to HAVE to live with them.

Having said that, I know times are different and I already have said I would welcome my kids back home if they absolutely needed it and if they agreed to live by some very reasonable rules. Thankfully, they're on their own.

[MerrittsMustache]

My son has two roommates. All of his non-married friends also have roommates. You can't afford to rent in Chicago unless you have roommates.

My daughter had a roommate until she moved in with her boyfriend, meaning, I guess, she still has a roommate.

Methinks you are working a little too hard to generalize here.

Perhaps I was working a little too hard, but it just seems to me that the comfort of mom and dad's house has become the go-to option as opposed to finding a few buddies and a dumpy apt in a not ideal neighborhood. Case in point...

To the point of moving out. I was living in a crappy part of a improving neighborhood, with a roommate and still had to shell out 800 each for rent then add on Internet which is an expense older generations didn't need to deal with on starting salaries, electric, gas, etc it became impossible and had to go home. Currently trying to find a four bedroom so that we can all move back out to the city.

I don't think many millenials are happy staying at home but expenses have gotten absurd that on a starting salary it's next to impossible to make ends meet on your own so we're forced back home.

You can get internet access for $60/month and a 4-bedroom apt in Chicago for $2000. Would it be a new construction palace in The Loop? Of course not. If you have 4 guys living together and add utilities, that's maybe $600/month each? There's also the option of not living in the city. There are a ton of suburbs with nightlife and young people if that's what you're looking for. It might not be as cool but it'd be a whole lot cheaper if money is the issue.

[Galway Eagle]

Perhaps I was working a little too hard, but it just seems to me that the comfort of mom and dad's house has become the go-to option as opposed to finding a few buddies and a dumpy apt or not ideal neighborhood. Case in point...


You can get internet access for $60/month and a 4-bedroom apt in Chicago for $2000. Would it be a new construction palace in The Loop? Of course not. If you have 4 guys living together and add utilities, that's maybe $600/month each? There's also the option of not living in the city. There are a ton of suburbs with nightlife and young people if that's what you're looking for. It might not be as cool but it'd be a whole lot cheaper if money is the issue.

Oh I know I said the reason why we're looking for a four bedroom is because two bedrooms, even in crappy neighborhoods, are no longer affordable.

Unless you're talking about forest park no suburb has night life for young people.

[Wally Schroeder]

I’m a millennial who graduated during the recession and spent a year and a half post-graduation living with parents in the Chicago Suburbs. As soon as a I had a full-time (which took a few months), I was paying a small monthly rent. There was no expectation that I had to rush to move out, but contributing and accountability were expected. After a year and a half, I moved to the city with a buddy, and all along I was saving like a madman to buy a condo.

Fast forward a few years and I’ve got a pretty unique millennial living situation. I’ve owned a condo in the city with my girlfriend for four years and my younger brother has lived with us for 2 years, paying a way below market value rent. He could easily afford a one-bedroom rental in a decent neighborhood, but he’s saving a small fortune and his rent sure helps us build our savings. To add to our communal living, we don’t own a car, but my brother’s is available whenever he’s not using it, a perk of using our parking spot. Not a situation that would work for everybody, and it’ll probably come to an end for us shortly, but I’ve enjoyed having him around and we’ve all benefited financially.

[Blackhat]

Same here. Any time my parents came to visit or I visited them and they would take me out to dinner, there was no question they were going to pay but every time there was always a joke about my continual mooching off of them for dinner. Keep in mind I was paying for everything on my own once I left college without borrowing or asking for anything. First time I bought dinner for them, the jokes stopped.

It was a good gentle reminder that while they were always there, that was not a desirable outcome.

I think he also meant inheritance, which the way my mom spends on the grandkids I'm starting to believe.   

Although I will be getting the Japanese sword my Grandfather brought back from Guam, which is pretty bad as$. 

[MerrittsMustache]

Oh I know I said the reason why we're looking for a four bedroom is because two bedrooms, even in crappy neighborhoods, are no longer affordable.

Unless you're talking about forest park no suburb has night life for young people.

No offense, but you either need to lower your standards or look harder...or move to a suburb with easy access to the train that'll get you to the city.

[Galway Eagle]

No offense, but you either need to lower your standards or look harder...or move to a suburb with easy access to the train that'll get you to the city.

Perhaps you grew up in the suburbs so it's easy for you to say "move to a suburb" but I've split my time growing up in the city and oak park, which may as well be the city. I loath the suburbs. I'm confident the other younger people on this board who grew up in the city would also laugh at the "move to a suburb" prospect.

I was living in a crappy neighborhood on in south west Logan then the 606 opened and they upped rent by 300 dollars. Not my fault.

Trust me I don't have super high standards. If you saw my place in college, it was a far cry from the 2040s. Finding a four bedroom place in the city thats near the el is tough enough but you start factoring in a place that works for everybody's commute and it gets harder. Two of my potential roommates are occasional posters I'm sure they'll back me up.

[JWags85]

No offense, but you either need to lower your standards or look harder...or move to a suburb with easy access to the train that'll get you to the city.

I'm another that didn't grow up in the Chicago burbs, but I'm curious as to which burbs you include in "tons of burbs" for fun.  Ive heard Naperville is fun, but thats practically a mini city to itself.  Everyone I talk to that is still in the burbs either can't wait to move to the city or is there for proximity to a job out there and spend weekends in the city with friends.

[MU82]

I’m a millennial who graduated during the recession and spent a year and a half post-graduation living with parents in the Chicago Suburbs. As soon as a I had a full-time (which took a few months), I was paying a small monthly rent. There was no expectation that I had to rush to move out, but contributing and accountability were expected. After a year and a half, I moved to the city with a buddy, and all along I was saving like a madman to buy a condo.

Fast forward a few years and I’ve got a pretty unique millennial living situation. I’ve owned a condo in the city with my girlfriend for four years and my younger brother has lived with us for 2 years, paying a way below market value rent. He could easily afford a one-bedroom rental in a decent neighborhood, but he’s saving a small fortune and his rent sure helps us build our savings. To add to our communal living, we don’t own a car, but my brother’s is available whenever he’s not using it, a perk of using our parking spot. Not a situation that would work for everybody, and it’ll probably come to an end for us shortly, but I’ve enjoyed having him around and we’ve all benefited financially.

An extremely intelligent, open-minded solution that benefits everybody. Congratulations!

[WI inferiority Complexes]

oak park, which may as well be the city.

Oak Park= Chicago + insufferable snotty attitude. Sorry.  By the end of my 12-month lease, I couldn't wait to get the eff out of there.

[Galway Eagle]

Oak Park= Chicago + insufferable snotty attitude. Sorry.  By the end of my 12-month lease, I couldn't wait to get the eff out of there.

Hahaha clearly you only met the fenwick kids then.

[jsglow]

I'm hearing a lot about the expense of Chicago.  Again, living here is a choice.  I had Marquette kids I've offered jobs to who decided they couldn't make it work.  My own daughter made the decision to pursue her career in Milwaukee in part because the cost of living was significantly lower up there.  I know our son prefers to point in that direction too.

[CTWarrior]

I set the expectations that when they were done with school ,I was done with support. Of course, we are willing to help if needed but they anticipated the spigot being turned off at some time.

Did the same thing with my son.  We told him we'd get him to graduation debt-free but after that he is responsible for himself.  He graduated Monday and has a great job lined up in Delaware starting in July and therefore will be on his own immediately.

[MU Fan in Connecticut]

I’m a millennial who graduated during the recession and spent a year and a half post-graduation living with parents in the Chicago Suburbs. As soon as a I had a full-time (which took a few months), I was paying a small monthly rent. There was no expectation that I had to rush to move out, but contributing and accountability were expected. After a year and a half, I moved to the city with a buddy, and all along I was saving like a madman to buy a condo.

Sounds familiar.  I knew I had only 4-years to graduate.  1991 was not a good year to graduate and I had no engineering job lined up, but I did get offered my supermarket job back, so I moved back to Connecticut.  I immediately began paying my mom a small monthly rent.  (My dad passed away during Sophomore year.)   My brother still had two years of Marquette left.  It took 8-months to finally land an engineering job when mom increased the rent.  Two years later I managed to save some money and took up the offer from some high school friends to share an apartment in Downtown New Haven where I continued the social life I had as a student until I met my wife.

[Goose]

MU82

We think much alike. Enjoyed reading your posts. Like your kids, mine were not spoiled with material items but were given life experiences and a great education. All four played travel hockey and my daughter travel soccer and that was our family holidays for the most part. I am very proud that our kids lived what I believe to be a normal life in today's world. Proud of my kids and proud of wife and I sacrificing many luxuries to put our kids in the best private schools in the area beginning in Level A. Would not trade any of it for the world.

It warms my hear when the kids out of the clear blue make a comment or offer sincere thank you for their upbringing. I can assure you far from normal or perfect but as Gary Koch would say "better than most".

[real chili 83]

When our kids were growing up, I didn't give a flyin' shyte what other kids had that mine didn't.

Mine didn't have video games. Mine didn't have cellphones until they got to high school and smartphones till they were on their own. Mine didn't have designer jeans. Mine didn't have cars - hell, mine didn't even have driver's licenses; don't need 'em in Chicago. Mine didn't have Air Jordans or any other sneakers costing more than the gross domestic products of many small nations. Mine didn't have iPods. Etc, etc, etc. If they wanted any of that kind of crap, they had to earn their own money and buy them.

What did my kids have?

A great family life. The love of two parents who obviously love each other. A good home. A mom who was always there for them when I had to travel a lot. Every single thing they needed (and some things they wanted). Emotional support. Forgiveness when they screwed up.

They also had some pretty fun experiences - summer camps, sports leagues, family trips to Hawaii, AZ, Fla, Europe, Canada, etc.

Oh, and college completely paid for. Because we weren't buying them cars and handing them $20 bills whenever they asked for it, we were able to afford to let them graduate college with no debt. I'd say that's a better gift than a pair of effen designer jeans.

I KNOW our kids thought we were cheap when they were growing up, certainly by the time they were teens and they really saw all the stuff their friends had. But they rarely complained -- because they knew it would fall on deaf ears -- and they now say they are grateful for how they were raised.

My wife, especially, was an amazing mother during their years growing up. I was OK.

You forgot the part about making them walk uphill both ways to school.

[MU82]

You forgot the part about making them walk uphill both ways to school.

Not only that, but they were barefoot and it was always snowing. Even in September and June.

[dgies9156]

During my second semester of my senior year at Marquette, my father called me and said he was coming up for dinner. He was in Chicago on business and thought it would be nice to see me. It also was very unusual.

When he got to town, we went to dinner and he sat down and said, "You Mother has a message. Don't come home. Go out, get a job selling shoes if you have to, but don't come home."

In one of my finer moments, that to this day bewildered my Dad, is when I looked at him and said, "I have absolutely no intention of coming home. Been there, done that.. and you can tell my Mother anything you want, but that's my expectation. I  will  have  a  job!" And I did.

I never did go home other than to visit. I had spent four years working hard to get my Degree and now I wanted to take on the world. I went to a small city in Illinois and lived in a roach-infested barrio apartment for a year before moving above a dry cleaner. It was the best thing that ever happened to me because it lit a fire inside that led to a career. If I had gone home, I'd lived in a very comfortable large home, but geez, it aint worth it!

My two children are both in college -- one is a freshman and the other a junior. I'll do what I can for them in getting started, but they need to be independent and I expect them to be. They need to make their own decisions and learn how to manage the small amount of money that will be their salaries. Not to be harsh, but they won't always have the soft landing of their parents and they need to learn to be self-sufficient.